Tag Archives: loneliness

Mojo Movie Review of the Week: “Eat, Pray, Love”

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SPOILER ALERT: MOVIE DETAILS REVIEWED. Read at your own discretion.

My date with Bocelli.

I’m right at this moment watching “Eat, Pray, Love”. I was really torn about watching this movie at all, because, fundamentally, as I understand the plot, Liz Gilbert is a woman who got bored with her life and leaves her husband (after having cheated on him), in search of fulfillment that she doesn’t quite find. In real life, Liz took this emotional and physical journey, wrote about it, and it became a best-seller.

My question is… WHY? And so I’m watching this movie. To view this journey that she took. I’m very fond of “based on the book” movies. Especially if they’re true. I’m not into history, I don’t watch the military channel, but I do love the stories that are fundamentally based in truth. What is it about this woman’s story that makes her a best-seller?

20 minutes into the movie, and already Liz prayed to God for guidance, then immediately told her husband, “I don’t want to be married,” and is now having an affair with a man who admits he’s searching for God but instead found an eastern religion. Her husband, thankfully, is still fighting for this marriage. I want a man like that! Someone who will go to mediation and say “This is NOT the way.” Someone who says, “Divorce is not an option!”

Mind you, I realize at my age it’s going to be hard to find someone who hasn’t been previously married, or has kids, or both… but when we become WE, separation will never be an option. There are men on match.com who think “currently separated” means it’s okay to get a girlfriend. Seriously? So, let’s say I’m the kind of girl who takes that dive. Goes in deep. Falls hard. When does the proposal come? When he decides to finally, really leave her? WILL he? And even if he does, the fact that he’s advertising that he’s still married but looking… doesn’t that just scream biblical adultery to you? It does to me. So I say, no thanks. This ship will not sail.

Now Liz has left her husband, Stephen, and her rebound-boyfriend, David, and has landed in Italy. I love Italy. I have always loved anything Italian. Proportionately, I’m about only 0.3% Italian, but it’s the part I claim the most. The history, the culture, the romance, the ruins, the Mafia… I love it all. I’ve never been there ~ yet. But I will. I’ll get there. To Trevia Fountain. To the Vatican. To Naples. To sidewalk cafes and true cappuccinos. To Italian leather and the Almalfi coast. I feel like Sandra Bullock’s Lucy in While You Were Sleeping. Except I don’t have a passport ~ yet.

I say that word a lot. “Yet”. I love that word. It means, anything’s possible. It means, I can do it. It means, I have a goal. So I say, I am not published ~ yet. But when I am, I will pay off my small mortgage, send my daughter to college, and travel to Italy. I’m just not there ~ yet.

Liz has just had a wonderful Italian dinner with her friends. They call out names for places, people. Liz has admitted her “words” (daughter, wife, girlfriend) don’t fit her, that she’s not too good at filling those roles. Her friend Sofie tells her, “Maybe you’re a woman in search of a word.” And Liz agrees, she’s definitely searching for something.

Now Liz is in India. The noise and chaos is almost overwhelming, certainly antipodal to the calm, laid-back atmosphere of Italy. But then she finds some quiet. She’s trying to meditate and admits she still feels empty, alone… sad. Her idea of meditation is to “empty her thoughts”. God tells us, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). That doesn’t sound empty-headed to me. That sounds like focusing on something greater than my empty self, something bigger and better and completely unfathomable. There is nothing empty about God, or the life He has given me. There is only Greatness. Meditate on that!

Finally, Liz has arrived in Bali where she’s encouraged to have “a little love affair”, preceeded by a drunken binge. Thankfully, she’s sober enough to realize she shouldn’t go there, so she gracefully says good night instead. I admire her for keeping her boundaries, and thankfully the man she’s with was only interested in a midnight swim anyway… at least for starters. So he let her go without a fight. And she runs squarely into Felipe to begin the journey to Happily Ever After. But her fears overpower her and she allows her insecurities to keep her from falling in love.

I know that fear. But I will gladly experience it again, and conquer it. I will look it squarely in the eye, and not let it overpower me. I will not be afraid to live. I will not be afraid of love.

In the end, Liz runs back to Felipe, and announces her word is “attraversiamo”, which is Italian for “let’s cross over”.

I actually really enjoyed this movie far more than I thought it would. It didn’t sugarcoat the hurts that lonely people go through. It didn’t play up gratuitous elements, but rather incorporated them as yet another cause-and-effect of that loneliness. And it certainly demonstrated the search we all have experienced for something greater than our empty selves.

I can’t help but wonder, if Liz had given God the chance to answer her in the beginning, what different story she might be telling today?

And now I should find my word… any ideas? Anyone?

“As Long As You Love Me”

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Anyone who knows me, knows I’ve recently rediscovered my affinity for the Backstreet Boys.

I fully admit, I have always been one of those girls who dreams of the fairy tale rescue and swoons over love lyrics sung by boy bands. It’s not so much the love stuff as it is, I’ve just always liked bubble gum music. To be honest, I’m sure they could sing about cow patties and I’d find it extremely wonderful.

And on a day when I felt like a cow patty, it was the Backstreet Boys and God who made me feel better.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t know what’s going on? A day where you feel troubled, lonely, sad, or just mellow? A day when everyone else seems content and you seem… left out?

I had a day like that. Friday, February 18, 2011. There was no reason for it. I wasn’t harassed or bothered by anyone. In fact, nobody even noticed. I think that was the point. And in my loneliness, I started thinking about past relationships. I quickly found myself noting the good qualities I missed, and glossing over the bad traits that I’d left. Isn’t that what loneliness does to us? Takes away reality and leaves us with false memories through rose-colored glasses?

I turned to the greatest Love Letter ever written: the Bible. Since it was the 18th, I read Proverbs 18. And came upon verse 10: “The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” I had a beautiful vision of running away from the men of my past, running from their hurts and their intentions, the broken pieces of me that they kept chipping away… and I ran, instead to the arms of my Beloved, my Savior. As I called upon the name of My LORD, He opened his arms. With one arm He scooped me, curled and ashamed, into His protection; with the other, He drew His shield of protection to cover me, us; and thwarted any attacks meant to hurt me. I was safe. Safe in His arms. I breathed in His heavenly scent and relaxed.

I kept that feeling of protection, of worthiness, with me throughout the day. A few hours later I needed to get a few things from the local Target, and as I was passing by the cd’s, I saw it. The Backstreet Boys’ playlist cd. Fourteen of their greatest hits at a discount price. It called me. It called me loudly!

The weather in February is always fickle. I was lucky enough to have one of our first warm days of the year, and a moon-roof in my car that begged to be opened. I put the cd in and was transported back to summer days, long nights, giggling girls, college dates … more emotion than memory. I felt… happy.

The second song began to play. I found myself driving detours back to work just to make it last. My Proverbs Experience came to the forefront, and I was drowned in these words, sung by a boy band; placed in my heart by The Man. I’ll never listen to it the same way ever again.

Truly, no matter where I go, or what I do… I am loved. By the One who loves me back.

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leaving my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
And how you got me blind is still a mystery
I can't get you out of my head
Don't care what is written in your history
As long as you're here with me

I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me

Every little thing that you have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run
It seems like we're meant to be

I don't care who you are(who you are)
Where you're from(where you're from)
What you did
As long as you love me(I don't know)
Who you are(who you are)
Where you're from(where you're from)
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows
When you look into my eyes
What you did and where you're comin' from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby.

I don't care who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
What you did
As long as you love me (you love me)
(repeat to fade)
who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me (you love me)