Feb 18, 2015 |
Isaiah 65:24 (NIV) reads
“Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.”
I’ve always believed, because God is outside of space and time, that He has already heard the prayers the future me will pray.
For quite a few months last year, I struggled with morning anxiety. Waking up was painful as I was faced with so many unknowns: the deteriorating health of loved ones, incomplete projects, financial instability, family schedules . . . the list goes on and on.
I was unable to really write or even blog. I struggled with what to share and who to share it with.
I continued to pray in moans that only the Holy Spirit could interpret for me, knowing that God had a plan and even though I may not see it, it is good.
My Life Verse ~ Jeremiah 29:11
In retrospect, I can see how everything happens for a reason. In retrospect, I understand that I was getting in my own way.
I found this reminder note in my desk drawer at work and posted it to my private Facebook page, but I want to share it here, too, because, well, quite frankly, it needs to be shared.
December 8, 2014
On the morning of December 8th, 2014…
When I was waking every morning with anxiety
When I had writers block
Before Rick finally went to his heavenly home
Before Alex asked for my blessing to marry Hannah
Before I was blessed with finances for TWO important writers conferences
Before I started grocery shopping for one
Before I had health insurance
Before I picked up a paying client for media/marketing
Before our lives were shaken, stirred, pressed but not crushed, running over …
Before all these great and glorious moments, on the morning of December 8, 2014, I had a Heavenly dream. God put His calming hand on my shoulder and spoke to my soul and said, “It’s going to be all right. I hear you, and I’m already working on it.”
I am reminded every moment that God is a personal God, that He cares about every part of my being, that He is making me whole.
He cares about you, too. He’s already heard your prayers. And He’s already working on it.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
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Feb 14, 2015 |
I don’t care about the book. I don’t care about the movie.
I do care about the conversations going around Facebook and other social media sites.
I don’t care if your Christian or not. I don’t care if you like the book or the movie, or not.
Here’s what it boils down to for me:
The crux of the controversy is whether or not Christian people should go see this movie. I’ve read interesting arguments for both sides, and the main consensus is, it’s ultimately harmless, and what happens in a bedroom between two consenting adults is their business.
Wait. Did you read that? It’s their business. Not mine, not yours. And certainly not a theater full of 200 or more strangers.
If your belief is, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, then
LET IT STAY IN THE BEDROOM!
Don’t promote YOUR sex life (fantasy, real, or something in between) on MY television screen, MY social media page, or IN PUBLIC.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t say “it’s just between a man and woman” and air it in a movie theater. You can’t say pornography is a private issue, then blast commercials promoting it on a big screen.
I will not read this book. I will not see this movie. And it’s not because of my Christian beliefs. It’s because I believe sex is between a man and a woman and them only! It’s an act of intimacy, trust, vulnerability. It’s not coffee with friends, or shopping at the mall.
Don’t think for one minute I’m a prude. I just don’t agree with getting hot and bothered by watching something in a room full of strangers.
When do we draw the line between hypocrisy and human dignity? When do we say there are just some things that don’t need to be mainstream?
Especially on Valentine’s Day weekend. What a horrid message to send! Love is so much more than someone telling you what to do, or taking away your individuality.
Do what you want to do. But please keep your private life private. And if you agree with this, please don’t go see the movie.
Just some things I’ve been thinking about.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
Jan 19, 2015 |
A few days ago I did something I wasn’t sure I could do, for a variety of reasons: I registered to attend the Orange County Christian Writers Conference in April.
My friend and writing mentor, Aaron Gansky, is a featured speaker and while I always value the information he gives, there are several other sessions I’m looking forward to being a part of.
This will be the second writers conference I’ve attended. Ever. This one is different from the first one I attended last November. That one was local, and there were three consecutive sessions in the same auditorium. I knew almost everyone, because it was sponsored by my Writers Club. This one requires a little drive time, there are many short sessions to choose from, and aside from Aaron and hopefully my friend Beckie, I won’t know anyone.
Molly and Beckie
Thankfully, it was easy to choose my sessions based on my experience as a writer, and my needs to grow my network. I’m choosing to focus on what will help me finish NOLA and market it as well.
And now that the fun stuff has been announced, let’s get real.
It’s intimidating to register for a writers conference. At least, it is for me. I have so many unknowns.
- What if I’m not a good enough writer to be there?
- What if I can’t focus and forget all the information?
- What if everyone else really has a game plan for their writing, and laugh because I don’t?
- What if I share my idea for my novels and learn they’re not that great?
- What if the weather is bad for the drive?
- What if it’s like high school and people are clique-ish and I’m left out?
- What if I get star-struck and instead of being intelligent I stumble and mumble my way through meetings and greetings?
- What if I spill coffee on myself and don’t bring an extra sweater to cover it up?
These are all real concerns I have.
But the one I didn’t know I had, came to light after I registered. I have been nagged with the internal question
What if I’m not good enough?
That is, not that I’m not a good enough writer. I believe I’m a good writer on my way to being a great writer.
But, what if I’m not a good enough person? What makes it okay for someone like me to attend a Christian writers conference?
Sure, I write a lot about God and trusting His plan for our lives. I live a Faith-based life. But I’m no Saint. I’m no hero. And on not-so-good days, I can be downright bad and ugly. So what makes it okay for me to attend a Christian writers conference?
The same thing that makes it okay for me to be a writer. I don’t know everything. But what I do know, I can share. I’m not Chef Bobby Flay, but I like to cook, so I share recipes. I’m not a veterinarian, but I can write about my cats. I don’t own a landscape company or live in a mansion, but I can still blog about how to keep a nice house with decorating and fix-it tips.
So what makes it okay for me to attend a Christian writers conference? I had to wrap my head around it. I would have no problem supporting anyone else who wants to go, and if they voiced these same concerns, I’d tell them
Stop. Listen to yourself. No. Don’t. Listen to God. He brought you here for a reason. You know He did. And He has a plan for you, for your writing. Nobody’s perfect and I’m not asking you be. Did you screw up something yesterday? I did, too. I always do. It’s human nature. But you know what? God forgives you. He forgave you, and He keeps forgiving you. So get out of the dark hole you created, see the Sonshine, and do what He’s calling you to do. Be a writer. You don’t have to prosthelytize all the time. It’s okay to write mysteries and fantasy. Just write. Just use the talents He gave you, and do it! Get to the conference. Meet other imperfect people who will help you hone your imperfections into great storytelling. It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.
That’s what I would tell someone else. So that’s what I’m telling me. I’m not perfect, and I’m not a Bible thumper. But I am a Christian.
So I’m giving myself permission to attend a Christian writers conference.
Now here’s the neat part. Once I decided to go (after a few nudges from Beckie and Aaron), my first thought was “I can’t afford this.” Beckie and I looked at the registration schedule. We can’t go Friday night, so we would just carpool together for the Saturday sessions. It’s $135 for the day. There’s a 10% discount code available, so my cost would drop to $121.50. Not too bad when you consider everything that’s included. But it’s still more than what I want to shell out right now, especially since I’m intent on getting to Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in North Carolina in May.
Feeling somewhat apprehensive and pre-defeated, I asked them to pray with me for direction on this. That was Saturday night.
On Tuesday morning, I received a phone message from my insurance company. They finally received full restitution from the at-fault party for an accident I was in nearly five years ago. At that time, my insurance company took care of my vehicle replacement, my medical bills, and my settlement. But because I had to go through my own policy, I wasn’t able to collect my $500 deductible. Two years later, they received a large, albeit incomplete sum, and mailed me a check for a partial amount.
As of last week, they received the final payment, and issued me a payment for the balance of my deductible.
The conference would cost me $121.50.
The insurance payment is $121.43.
How on earth am I going to find seven pennies? I’m pretty sure God is asking me to trust Him.
And that’s how I know it’s okay for me to attend a Christian writers conference.
My Life Verse ~ Jeremiah 29:11
And Frankly, my dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
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Aug 24, 2014 |
The wind has been blowing here at Bedford Manor. At times its brought with it a cleansing rain, at others, it just stirs the dust. There’s been heat, sun, clouds, humidity, wind, and stillness. The weather just can’t make up its mind.
Rain on a Leaf
It’s symbolic of how I’ve been feeling lately ~ uncertain as to my purpose. I hit a rather large wall of writer’s block last month and it’s taken me until two days ago to chisel it down.
I’d previously set a goal to have the first (and hopefully only) draft of NOLA finished by now. I’d wanted to start marketing it for sale in October. Instead, I’m rewriting the beginning and incorporating bits and pieces of what I’ve already done.
Most writers will advocate for writing the first draft in its entirety before starting any edits. I usually agree. Except NOLA needed a change. Without changing the beginning, I couldn’t coherently string those changes through the rest of the text. So I threw my self-imposed deadline out the window and, to the cheers of my writing mentor and critique group, am focusing on quality, not quantity.
I’ve been blessed with a friendship with Ms. New Orleans 2014, Lindsay Reine. Not only is she full of information on New Orleans, she’s become my newest cheerleader.
I still have my #DoingTheWriteThing fundraiser but I’ve amped it up a little. On the advice of several friends, I began a GoFundMe campaign. I like it for a variety of reasons. There’s no deadline, no all-or-nothing criteria. And it’s incredibly easy to navigate, update, and share.
I currently have three sponsors for a total of $110.00. It may not sound like much, but it’s eleven thousand pennies more than I had a month ago!
My Penny Jar
I must be doing something right, or should I say, write. I’m thankful for each of you, all of you, who believe in what I do, and who are helping me to achieve the goals of taking one step at a time. Some steps are bigger than others, and sometimes I have to take a step back. But a trusted person once told me
One Step Forward
Being a Christian and writing a murder mystery can be dichotic but not mutually exclusive. Ted Dekker does a fine job of weaving intrigue and sinister acts into redeeming storylines. I can do the same.
So I will continue to work on NOLA, and trust you’ll understand my delay. I’d much rather present you with a take-your-breath-away piece of writing in a few months or even a year or two, than to sell something now that you wouldn’t take off the bookshelf again, or worse, recommend to a friend.
I’m back in the saddle with blogging too, but I’ve a suspicion you may already know this.
During the holidays, I hope to add a few craft and decorating ideas as well as some recipes and reviews.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to pray, work, take care of Bedford Manor, and of course, I’ll keep #DoingTheWriteThing.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
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Jun 15, 2014 |
It seems like just yesterday that I slightly bared my soul and asked for pray and partnership toward Doing the Write Thing . . . oh, wait. It was!
I do my best writings on Sunday afternoons when the chores are done, the errands have been run, and it’s nothing but me, Pandora, a nice breeze, and a cool beverage.
I always have at least two drinks available at all times. Today I’m drinking ice water or Ginger Ale, depending on which I grab first.
I was invited to post directly at LinkedIn so today I created my first article, 10 Things Your Insurance Agents Wish You Knew.
All that to say, every Sunday in my quiet moments, I’ll post updates on my fundraising campaign as well as my weekly writing production in general.
As of this moment, I have one sponsor for $20.00. This contribution isn’t a surprise to me, since it’s my friend Mary and she told me before I even started the campaign that she’d help out. So thanks, Mary. She’s a fellow member of the California Writer’s Club, High Desert Branch, the leader of the critique group I’m in, and a great friend.
I also have three Social Supporters: those who can’t contribute monetarily at this time, but are sharing my links and dreams through their social media circles to help gain visibility. Thank you, William, Ann and Melanie.
NOLA is coming along quite nicely. I’ve nearly 21,000 words which, considering the average adult novel is 70,000 words, means I’m about 30% finished. Last week I realized the rest of the plot which meant going back through what I’d previously written and making sure I dropped the right hints and dialogue.
My other writing projects are on the back burner until I finish NOLA, which I plan for the end of August. I guess that means I’d better get back to it. These words don’t write themselves, and I’ve a character or two to add.
Side shout to Toronto Mary and the Strumbellas. I hear-tell my CD is finally crossing the border and should be here in a week or two. Can’t wait!
Until then, thanks for keeping me on the path to Doing the Write Thing!
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
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I am Defined. And I am a Mystery.
FIVE THINGS FRIDAY: POETRY
The Strumbellas
2014:BETTER.
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