Aug 11, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
Kate is a valued friend of mine. We haven’t known each other long, but she’s become important to me. She supports me. We talk almost every day. She never fails to uplift and encourage me. She trusts me. So when she asked me to proofread this essay, I asked a favor in return: to publish it for her here on my blog.
This is Kate’s Story.
Living with Tourette Syndrome there are many things I have come to accept. I accept that there is no cure, I will always be “different”. I have learned to deal with the aches and pains that often accompany my incessant tics. I have learned techniques to minimize my symptoms though I will never fully master them. I have accepted that others will always stare, that some find my loud “wah ahh” sounds funny. I have even accepted that because I am different, being bullied is just a part of my life. As much as I try to educate everyone I come into contact with about Tourette’s, not all will be understanding.
My life is what it is and I had accepted that until my friend Jeromy suggested I read “Twitch and Shout: a Touretter’s Tale” by Lowell Handler. It was great to read that someone else had a similar experience with not being diagnosed until early adulthood. I was enjoying the book until I found myself suddenly enraged by the fact that we faced such similar tales of a lack of understanding about our shared condition, twenty years apart.
Has nothing changed in twenty years? After venting my frustration to my Facebook friends I realized that something has changed. In the 1980’s Handler met very few people who had even heard of Tourette’s. By the time I was diagnosed in 2001 just about everyone seemed to have seen the movie “Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo” and while I’ll admit I did find it funny and I love the way he took his “client” with Tourette’s to a ballgame where it’s OK to swear, that perception that Tourette’s is a “swearing thing” made life with Tourette’s even harder. Where Handler encountered people who had never heard the term “Tourette” before, I encountered people who said, “Oh, you mean the swearing disorder?” Or the oh-so-memorable incident in the grocery store when a teenage girl said, “Oh my god, you are sooo lucky, you can just, like, swear all the time.” (She’s sooo luck I didn’t punch her!) In the twenty years between our experiences, Tourette’s had gone from being a little known neurologic disorder to being the punch-line of a joke; one that’s not very funny to those who suffer from it.
The night I read the book, I had a nightmare. I was out with my young friend Ryan. She also has Tourette’s. We were in a crowd when someone started mimicking my vocal tics. As always happens when I feel self-conscious, my tics increased in frequency and severity. The mimicking turned to taunts and my tics got even worse. I had no control of my body and was even unable to get myself and Ryan away from the situation until someone else stepped in to help. Once out of the crowd my rescuer asked if I was okay. I responded with, “I’m used to it, this is just part of life with Tourette’s .” Ryan exploded. “How can you accept this? Is this what my life will be?” While I’m thankful it was “just” a dream, it was actually more than that.
How can I accept that as a normal part of my life? Even before I knew what Tourette’s was, I was always “the weird kid”. I knew I wasn’t normal. Other kids and adults who saw my behaviors as a discipline problem constantly reminded me of that. The bullying I experienced as a child just continued on into adulthood. The guidance counselors always said that bullying was just part of life so eventually I just accepted it. I learned to handle it because I know who I am; those who pick on me, don’t. I never thought of my acceptance of my situation as affecting anyone but myself … until I met Ryan.
Tourette’s is hereditary so I’ve always know that if I have kids there’s a chance I may be the parent of a child with Tourette’s. I always thought of that in terms of fighting with schools and making the tough decision of whether to medicate. I never thought of how my current acceptance of the way things are would affect those who come behind me. But Ryan is behind me. Twenty years my junior, and very similar to me. At ten years old she is reaching that age where the comments will start being directed at her, not her parents. She will have to endure the same ignorance of our shared condition, but why should she? Shouldn’t my having been through it have some positive impact on her future? Is my not standing up and fighting back, not abandoning my own fears and stepping up to lead a campaign of Tourette’s awareness (similar to autism’s Autism Speaks), my accepting that this is just part of my life.. really me accepting it for Ryan? Am I accepting this for all the Ryan’s out there? Maybe it is time for me to move past my fears and do something so twenty years from now Ryan won’t be feeling the same way.
In a recent conversation with Kate, she told me that while there’s a lot of activity to research Tourette Syndrome, not much is being done in the way of actually helping those who suffer from it. She credits knowledge as a main staple in helping her, and enabling her to help others. If you know someone who suffers from Tourette’s, compassion and education is key. None of us are alone. And we all have something to offer. Thanks, Kate.
For more educational information, visit www.tsa-usa.org
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Aug 5, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
Flashpoint: -noun. A critical point or stage at which something or someone suddenly causes or creates some significant action. A critical situation or area having the potential of erupting in sudden violence.
Flashpoint: -noun. A Canadian cop-drama set in Toronto. Concurrently aired on CTV in Canada and CBS in the United States on Friday nights.
People either love Flashpoint, or look like you’re speaking a foreign language when you talk about it. Thankfully, I now live in that strange country, and invite you to join me.
Unlike so many regular shoot-em-up cop dramas, this is the show to watch to see how it’s all done right: well-written, superbly acted, complete stories. The character backgrounds are solid. The guest stars are amazingly talented. The scenes are thoroughly designed, and there is not one wasted second in any episode.
Whether a show focuses on one member or the entire team, there is always a sense of deep camaraderie between the characters, the actors, and those behind the scenes. The blending of so many unique talents is exquisitely performed.
Now in it’s fourth season, Flashpoint continues to attract and surprise its viewers with every scene. Although each episode is a stand-alone work of art, they also build on the last. For those of us who love the show, each Friday night is like coming home to family. Even if, at times, that family is a bit dysfunctional.
Like any real-life workforce, the family changes. Some people leave, some people come. Some people change, some people never do. The show is dependable in that it is never dependable. What started out as eight regulars was quickly dropped down to seven (let’s not forget the short-lived Dr. Amanda Luria), then six, then a small fluctuation of comings and goings, and rumor has it there will soon be another character change. As unsettling as these changes are, most fans are willing to tolerate the intermittent shake up, because in four years, Flashpoint has never disappointed.
The FP family also joins together on the producers’ official facebook page, Flashpoint Team One. It is a fanpage like no other. It was started by the producers to promote the show. It is kept alive daily by their constant interaction with the fans and all others who visit the page. It’s where I keep in touch with those who get it. Who get me. And why I love the show. Kate, Mary, Angelo, Laura, FPTO Katie, and all the others who interact on a regular basis. We work well together.
There isn’t a fan on that site that doesn’t know what it means to “go all coffee shop” on someone or “copy that” to a “Hot Call”. Everyone shares in the joys of the producers’ random acts of kindness (giving out Flashpoint merchandise to various fans just for the heck of it!), the discussion groups, Mary’s constant guard to keep spoilers off the main page for those in different time zones [personal shout out to the Sarge from this west coaster!], the collaborative fanfic efforts, and the overall community feel.
Fans proudly promote their efforts in sending Flashpoint out into the world.
Kate contributes her story ideas to www.fanfiction.net/tv/Flashpoint/
Angelo is the go-to guy for visuals (Kudos for the great pic above!). You can find more of his great stuff here: http://eclectickle.wordpress.com/flashpoint/
Fans become quick friends with each other. There is no pretense of shyness or awkardness. We’re all obsessed with bringing attention to the show, and we all accept the gushing that comes from everyone about each and every episode and producer interaction.
On any given day, you can find postings from a Canadian fan who happened upon cast and crew filming in Toronto; a tweet from the actors, writers, producers. Computer geeks share their wallpapers. Scribes share their ideas. Fans share their appreciation. It all blends very, very well; an overflow of the community that begins on set.
So it comes as a surprise to us fans, and to Flashpoint, that another change is about to happen. Having remained uncommitted to the series, CBS waffled on whether or not to renew. Canadian TV shows run only 15 episodes a year, whereas Americans are used to 22. Rather than stick the US with just as many reruns in a regular year, CBS has used Flashpoint as a filler for the past four summers. No wonder it hasn’t had the opportunity to grow into the market as well as it could. Nonetheless, CBS is well aware that Flashpoint has a die-hard following. They would do well to keep it going. But they moved too slow.
Next month, Flashpoint will be moving from CBS to ION Network. ION is a smaller cable channel, known mostly for its syndication-repeats and midnight infomercials. Not everyone in America has ION, which leads some in want of iTunes downloads. Here’s hoping that Flashpoint will be just the kick in the pants to jump start ION down a new road to aptly compete against the Big Four, and give CBS a “told-you-so” attitude.
Not every show has to have the crass vulgarity of Two and a Half Men or the horrific slaughters of Criminal Minds and CSI. While I’m a huge fan of those crime dramas, Flashpoint brings something more to the table. More realism. More in-depth characters. More honest reactions. More wanting for more.
There’s not a Flashpoint fan in the world who doesn’t hold their breath the last ten minutes of every episode, then share their angst when it’s over, having to wait an entire week to find out what happens next. Then we all go online and hash it out. Together. It’s our own brand of heroin. And it always leaves us wanting ~ no, craving ~ more.
*Check out these and other official links for more community:
Facebook – Flashpoint Team One
Twitter – Flashpoint Team 1
Flashpoint: One Moment Changes Everything. They Have the Solution.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Aug 4, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
Sam was out being a Man. Working his way through life by day; he was born in the wrong era. The first of six children, Sam was raised backwoods-style. He could have been a Pioneer. He and his brothers knew all about hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting.
It was a cold, almost snowy day in November when he picked up his deer hunting license, his rifle, his gear, and headed out. He was hungry for venison.
He set up quietly in the woods of Superior, Wisconsin. And waited. And waited. After a long enough time, and even longer, there was no deer to be had so he started the trek back to civilization.
In minutes that flashed by too quickly yet took too long to endure, a young bear wandered out of his den. He was too hungry to hibernate just yet, and Sam looked awfully tasty.
Being an experienced woodsman, Sam did what he could to scare the bear away. But the cub was young and had a mind of his own. He kept after Sam with a growing growl.
Bang! came the first shot. It got the bear in the shoulder blade. The bear was turning impatient.
Bang! the second shot caught him just above the left eye. It still wasn’t enough. Now the bear was just ornery.
Bang! the third and final shot choked the bear through his open mouth.
It fell, finally. Sam had conquered. With the help of other hunters in the area, he managed to drag it and strap it to the back of his car and make it home. A local reporter/photographer happened by, and turned around to get the story.
Sam made the paper. A butcher made the meat. A tanner made the skin. And Sam’s legacy lives on, its rug locked in the cedar chest; the story locked in our hearts.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
