I’m getting a food dehydrator today for my birthday.
I know I’m getting it, because my family asked, “What would you like for your birthday?”
And I said, “I would like a Nesco food dehydrator for my birthday.”
And a few weeks ago I dropped the “for my birthday” from that statement and my family became concerned that I might get it myself and they’d have to come up with some other gift idea, so they told me, “Don’t get a Nesco food dehydrator before your birthday.”
And when I asked “Why shouldn’t I get a Nesco food dehydrator before my birthday?”
They responded, “Because we’re getting you a Nesco food dehydrator for your birthday.”
And I said, “I would love a Nesco food dehydrator for my birthday.”
And then my family said, “What would you like to eat for your birthday?”
And I said, “I haven’t yet decided what I would like to eat for my birthday.”
But since my birthday is on Monday when people are at school and running errands and not available until later in the day, we want to celebrate on Sunday. And since Dot’s best friend’s birthday is Saturday, we are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day on Sunday.
So I said, “Why don’t we have Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Day corned beef and cabbage to eat for my birthday, which we will celebrate on Sunday instead of Monday?”
And my family said “We will have Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Day corned beef and cabbage on Sunday for your birthday, which we will celebrate on Sunday instead of Monday, when people are more available.”
And then my mom said, “Since you are quite the grown-up now, I don’t suppose I still have to make you a chocolate-cherry cake this year?”
And I looked at her without saying a word. But a strange growly noise emitted from my throat.
She got the message.
And I’m getting the cake.
Happy Birthday to Me!
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
