May 9, 2012 |
Welcome to this week’s What’s the Word? Wednesday: a linky that allows other bloggers to share whatever is on their minds that they want to talk about. Think of it as a virtual coffee date with some great friends. What’s going on in your world? Tell us all about it!
This week we have a theme: Moms. Mothers. Mommas. Mommies. Madres.
In honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day celebrations this Sunday, link up whatever posts you have that give honor to these great women. Do you love your Mom? Are you a Mom? Neither, but know a Mom? Do you have a Mom story you want to share? Whatever you want to write about Moms, go ahead and link it up here.
Here’s my contribution:
The Top Twenty Reasons I Love My Mom
20. She makes the best egg salad ever.
19. She is an awesome grandma to my daughter.
18. She helped fix up my house before I even moved in by painting and cleaning with me.
17. She understands me when I just look at her without speaking.
16. She doesn’t get upset when I call her five times in half an hour.
15. She doesn’t get upset when I forget to call her about something important.
14. She lets me drive her around town while listening to my music.
13. She buys me awesome CD’s like Celtic Thunder and Andrea Bocelli.
12. She invites us over every time she tries a new recipe.
11. She’s not allergic to our cats.
10. She buys me a new Nutcracker every Christmas.
9. She likes my friends.
8. We have amazing talks about God and faith and the state of the world.
7. We have amazing laughs about everything else.
6. She introduced me to the written word.
5. She supports my creative career choice.
4. She contributed a lot to The Unemployment Cookbook.
3. She makes the best Chocolate Cherry Cake for everyone’s birthday.
2. Even though it’s really not her style, she tried watching “FLASHPOINT” just because it means so much to me.
And the Number One reason I love my Mom:
She puts on a pot of coffee for us to drink together and talk.
Every. Single. Day.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
NOTE: All What’s the Word? Wednesday Blog Hops are open from Wednesday through the following Tuesday. So if you don’t have a post or comment today, that’s okay. You can link up any time before the next Blog Hop starts! Next week there’s no theme, so feel free to chat about everything that’s on your mind.
Apr 26, 2012 |
I’m not one to publicly complain or let others in on my troubles. I figure the world has enough problems, big and small, and my job is to make the world a better place… even if that means just keeping my mouth shut.
But a few times, I’ve seen this linky badge on Jenn’s blog and I’ve read what other people have to contribute. I admit, I admire having a Sanctuary of Sorts where fellow bloggers can go and expose their real self as opposed to the sometimes somewhat reserved public persona we display in our writings.
Granted, our blogs are mostly authentic. We wouldn’t be successful if they weren’t. But there’s still a part of me, a very private part of me, that I rarely let out.
But it’s been one of those weeks where I’ve avoided my Friends. We all have them: those people who can look us in the eye and we absolutely can’t ignore or lie to when they ask, “How are you doing?”
That’s not the Joey Tribbiani smooth chant, “How you doin’?”
I’m talking about the get-real, get-deep, and get-honest, “How are you doing?”
There’s only so many times I can hide, or recount my woes, without feeling sorry for myself.
And that’s not what I’m trying to do here. I’m not striving for attention. I’m also not trying to put on a brave face and act like everything’s ok. I’m not broken or shaken to my core. I’m just somewhere in between.
That’s it! That’s exactly where I am:
I’m in limbo.
And it sucks.
I know God loves me intimately. He has taken care of my family in ways I can’t even explain. He is faithful in keeping all the promises He has made to and for me.
And I feel really selfish and guilty for putting this out there… but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.
Sometimes, I want more. Sometimes, I get jealous. And angry. And upset. And I cry. I cry a lot. I wish I wasn’t a crier, but I am. And that, too, sucks. Because it’s utterly embarrassing to be in the store and walk away from something with tears and a tight throat because I have to decide between an extra gallon of milk or a bag of popcorn kernels.
People I know have jobs, have relationships, have dates, have money to do things. Is it too much to ask for some jaw-dropping, never-thought-it-could-happen-to-me joy? What’s wrong with me, that everyone else is getting what I want?! Okay, not everyone-everyone. Just… everyone. At least the majority. Maybe three out of five.
Is it really all that wrong to want to be noticed and appreciated? To be able to do for my family what other Heads of Households get to do for theirs? Is there any time, any time, in the near or even distant future when I can actually have a savings account worth anything?
I’m so tired of planning out every drive around places we have to go; and how to get the most mileage around town. I can’t see you today, because visiting a friend just isn’t on my route. It stinks!
I’m a writer. It’s what I do. But writing doesn’t pay the bills… yet. And I can’t find a day job that will. I’m great in interviews. But the job offers themselves just aren’t around. Because I’m unemployed, people take that to mean I’m unemployable. How is the economy at large, the lack of business income, my fault?! How is the fact that my previous employer didn’t know how to manage the business and balance the books and sign new contracts my fault?!
And why can’t I write for a living?! Why does being a successful, marketable writer mean having a publisher, which you can’t get unless you have an agent, which you can’t get unless you’re marketable, which you can’t be unless you’re already being marketed, which you can’t be unless someone takes a chance, which they won’t because you haven’t proven yourself, which you can’t do because…
Why can’t I catch a break?!
I’m tired of waiting for the rest of the world to know what I’ve already learned! That life is worth taking chances. That life is good. That fundamentally, we’re all going to be okay, even if right now we don’t know what the definition of “okay” is!
And then, of course, I vent and get embarrassed that I even felt this way to begin with. Because ultimately, I am okay. I will continue to be okay.
But now and then, I wonder if God has forgotten about me because I’m not the squeaky wheel. If I throw a tantrum, will He notice and take care of me? If I cry harder, will He comfort me? Why are prayers being answered for other people and not me?
I asked Him that the other day. To which He replied, “You never really asked.” Ouch. Ouch. Ouch! But He’s right. I talk about God an awful lot, and sometimes to Him, but I’ve lost the ability to talk with Him.
I’m a failure. I don’t deserve the things I want. I mean, really. How much effort am I putting into achieving my goals? I thought I was trying, even striving. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.
Maybe I’m just a failure.
But, no. That can’t be it. Because I’ve accomplished some pretty neat things lately like writing, publishing, and selling a Cookbook. I make ends meet each month. Barely, but they do meet.
Gah. I’ve even failed at being a failure.
Oh, God!
So this is me. Confessing that I am guilty of using God as a safety net. Of throwing emotional tantrums like I’m four instead of 44. I tell Him what’s wrong with my life, but I don’t give Him the chance to help me fix anything. I talk to Him, muttering, but lately haven’t gone to Him in prayer. Not real, deep, involved, here’s-what’s-happening prayer. I’ve successfully ignored Him and blamed His absence on everything but my own pushing Him away.
I never thought I would be one of those people! And He means so much more to me than that. I know I mean so much more to Him!
And now I’m really embarrassed. And ashamed.
Oh, GOD!
Never mind, God. I know you’re still in control. Still here with your arms around me. Still here, taking care of me and family in ways I’m not even aware of.
You haven’t forgotten me.
And I’m so sorry I forgot about you. Even just for a little while.
Forgive me, Lord.
Forgive me.
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord.
“Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.
Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11, NIV.
I’m gonna be okay, God. I’m gonna be okay, because you’re God, and I’m not. And even if I don’t know what Your definition of “okay” is, I still know I will be. Because You are God.
And I am not.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Apr 18, 2012 |
Welcome To Frankly, My Dear’s first ever blog hop event! In my virtual jaunts around the blogging community, there is so much to read! I love sitting down in front of Babycakes (my laptop) while sipping the Keurig’s daily offering and seeing what you have to say and share.
And this is my offering: A chance for you to let us in on your blog world spectaculars. What’s the Word? Wednesday is a linky that allows other bloggers to share whatever is on their minds that they want to talk about. Think of it as a virtual coffee date with some great friends. What’s going on in your world? Tell us all about it!
I chose this picture for my blog badge/linky very specifically. It’s a photo I took of grape hyacinth growing in my front yard. My dirt yard. Which has been weeded and sprayed two springs and three winters now. And yet, in the midst of the California desert, in nothing but dirt, these blessed little blooms came up from the ground. I didn’t plant them. The previous owner must have. Yet, without care, without fertilizer or water, they bloomed. And continue to do so, a month later. Little tiny patches of green and blue and purple.
It makes me think of two bookmarks from my mom. The first reads “Bloom Where You Are Planted.” And I can relate to that. Because the High Desert of Southern California is not where I want to spend the rest of my life. But it’s where I am. It’s where my family is. It’s where my friends, my church, my community are. So while this isn’t my Paradise, it certainly is my home. And I’m intent on making the best of it. I’m going to “Bloom Where I Am Planted.”
The second bookmark is an ancient Persian poem:
“If, of thy mortal goods, thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store two loaves
alone to thee are left,
Sell one and from the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed the soul.”
It brings to mind the proverb, “Man Cannot Live on Bread Alone.” It’s all so true. We must beautify our world, find something that makes us happy in order to stay healthy. Our physical needs include the ability to smile and reasons for doing so.
So that’s today’s theme on What’s the Word? Wednesday: What Makes You Smile? Go ahead and write it out on your own blog and share the link here. Don’t forget to grab the code and share the badge on your own blog. Just be sure to link back to Frankly, My Dear… If you don’t have a blog, leave a comment. Be sure to read what others post, too.
After all, it’s a big pot of coffee out there. Let’s sip and share!
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
GRAB THE CODE HERE!
Apr 16, 2012 |
I’m so happy! Thanks to help from Jenn at …so this is love…, I made my own Blog Badge! With a Linky Link!
Inn’t she purty?
“What’s the Word? Wednesdays” is a linky that allows other bloggers to share whatever is on their minds that they want to talk about. Think of it as a virtual coffee date with some great friends. What’s going on in your world? Tell us all about it!
My first link-up/blog hop will start this Wednesday, so as soon as you see the post, go ahead and spill your guts! Link those posts, write those stories, tell the world!
Some weeks I might have a theme, some weeks, notsomuch. Every now and then I might even run a contest for the best comments/links. Each week’s linky will be open from Wednesday morning thru the following Tuesday, so there will be plenty of time to share your stuff!
My little blog is growing up and getting social. *Sniff, sniff. I’m so proud of you, Frankly.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
