Jun 15, 2012 |
I haven’t been able to focus on writing this week. Instead I’ve been literally waiting for the phone to ring. Holding my breath every time the mail truck drives up, and exhaling every time there’s no letter of rejection.
I’m still waiting to hear if I’m getting the job I applied for two months ago. It’s one of those hurry-up-and-wait situations that’s pretty much driving me crazy.
Every day that I don’t hear means I’m still unemployed.
Every day that I don’t hear gives me the chance to keep praying.
This Job would be perfect for me.
This Job is local.
This Job’s schedule is regular Monday through Friday. No required weekends. No late evenings or early mornings.
This Job starts at a good wage, with regular reviews and increases.
This Job offers stability, longevity, permanence, and room for advancement.
This Job has health, vision, and dental benefits.
This Job has a retirement package.
This Job is in a professional yet friendly atmosphere.
This Job‘s duties include working with computers, numbers, and people. All things I love and am great at.
For all these reasons and more, I am praying for This Job.
Throughout this very stressful waiting period, this very dramatic roller coaster ride, I’ve been reminded of the very specific prayers I said when looking for a house.
It should be fully fenced. Landscaped. Attached garage. Indoor laundry room. Quiet neighborhood. Safe neighborhood. Nice, friendly neighbors. Close to my mom’s. Central to the area. Affordable. Like my mom’s house, but one I could make my own. Not too much of a fixer-upper, but needing my special touch.
And that’s exactly what I got. A beautiful house that we’ve turned into a home. The floor plan is exactly like my mom’s, but reversed. So it’s her house, but it’s mine. It’s lovingly decorated. It’s well-kept. And every day brings something new: a new plant, a flower in the dirt yard, a stray cat saying hi… It will never be finished. But it’s my house. It’s Our Home. And it’s everything I prayed for. Specifically and boldly.
I know so many of our family and friends are praying for us, crossing fingers and toes and legs and sending out great thoughts and wishes for This Job… I am so abundantly thankful. And so abundantly blessed. I may not be financially well-off at this moment, but I am overflowing with what matters. It’s impossible for me to express my gratitude, my peace and joy and heartfelt affection for all of you.
And I choose to believe that these specific and bold prayers for This Job will be answered just as specifically and boldly.
Because that’s how My God works.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
May 5, 2012 |
As you read this, I am on a mini-break. A holiday. A retreat.
At the eleventh hour, I found myself the happy recipient of a pass to attend this year’s Women’s Retreat through my church. I’d been wanting, even praying, to go since they announced the theme in January: “On The Red Carpet”. I’m really looking forward to it. Learning more of how to hold to my Christian beliefs in the spotlight.
It seems so perfect for my writing partner and I. She’s going. She’s part of the committee so there was never any question about her attendance. But I couldn’t get my security deposit in on time, so I just sat back and prayed.
Just over a week ago, I filled out my registration form, and was placed on the Waiting List. The LONG waiting list. I was No. 47. I joked with my friends, “Well, we just need to pray that one person drops out and 46 others decide they have something else to do that weekend.”
And that’s exactly what happened at the eleventh hour.
Prayer works.
And I’m humbled and blessed beyond belief.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Mar 14, 2012 |
The whole day-job-thing-a-ma-jiggy still hasn’t arrived. Gonna have to place a new order at the Employment Store. They’ve messed up on my last two orders, so now I’m more specific with what I want in a job: Great pay, great hours, benefits, drama-free zone, room for advancement. Is that too much to ask? I think not!
But I’ve been learning a lot about finances and frugality during this season. Primarily, my reliance on God hasn’t wavered. In fact, I can honestly say it’s grown stronger. I mean, when I have nothing, who else am I going to depend on but my Head of Household to get things taken care of?
Sure enough, True to form, God has been taking care of us quite nicely. We’re not drowning in riches, we’re not clothed in silky garments. But our needs, and oftentimes our desires, are met. A new DVD now and then. A friend willing to drive to Disneyland. A frozen pizza in the freezer.
But sometimes, I admit, I want more. I just do. I want more. I want security. I want options. I want income. Now. I want more than I have. I need more. I’m worried about next week, next month, the rest of this year. Next year. Retirement. I’m just worried.
And so I pray. A lot. I pray in Thanksgiving that I am healthy and alive. I pray petitions for all of the above and then some. I pray in adoration of God’s love and providence. And I pray again for what I think I need.
It was during this prayer time last week that God reminded me of something huge. I began by praying The Lord’s Prayer. The “Our Father”. I was going through the first part of the Prayer, careful to give thought to each sentence and not just recite it. “Our Father, Who Art in Heaven…” He’s my Father. My Poppa. My Daddy. He loves me with a Father’s love. That’s really comforting. And important. Because Father knows best, right?! So when He talks, I should listen.
I should. …
Back to the Prayer. Each line, each sentence a beginning to my own personal pleadings. And then…
“Give us this day our daily bread…”[Matthew 6:11, NIV]
It’s not “Give us this day our retirement bread” or “Give us this day our yearly bread” or even “Give us tomorrow’s bread.” It’s “Give us this day our daily bread”. Even better, just 14 easy verses later, He urges us to not worry about tomorrow. We already have what we need: Shelter. Clothing. Fellowship. We already have what we need.
Since this revelation, I’ve taken a better look around me, and I see: We already have so much. Furry felines that double as footwarmers. Birds that add music to the air. A loving household. A car that works. The ability to communicate, to touch each other, to share. We have so much already.
I have a roof over my head, gas in the car, food in the freezer and pantry, and the utilities are paid for the month. My daughter and I are alive and healthy. We have decent clothes. Good friends. But I’m not enjoying this security. I’m letting the worries of tomorrow interfere with the joys of today.
I feel really small. Really ungrateful. Really… selfish.
And I see.
He’s already given us this day our daily bread.
And to spare.
When you think about it, we’re all pretty rich, aren’t we?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
