Tag Archives: yesterday

The More Things Change…

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The more things change, the more things stay the same…

I never quite grasped that quote. My Grandma Bell used to tell us, “Expect the unexpected.” I didn’t understand that one, either. My mom’s favorite mantra for us was, “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched!” She even gave me a little chick statuette to take to college as a reminder. Now it sits on my nightstand.

It’s funny how some changes are so subtle you hardly notice. In four weeks my child will be 17. How did she grow so fast? I’ve been with her all these years, and it’s those tiny steps that keep going, that make her who she is, on her way to who she will be… she’s growing up. Right before my eyes. But she’s still always gonna be my baby girl.

I started this blog as a “social experiment into staying Christian in the dating world…” well, that quickly changed to a history of why I don’t get out much. Which evolved into going out. Which evolved… you get the picture. One thing leads to another.

I’ve managed to make new friends, garner new readers, get ideas from the world around me. But one thing that hasn’t changed, is my love of writing. In the last week, I’ve rediscovered the stories that attract me, the ones I crave to watch, read, and write. The ones that come effortlessly. They all have a common thread: Old-fashioned Family Values. I’m enamored this week with Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women”. I’ve been watching “The Waltons” reruns every day.

Maybe it’s because family time doesn’t go out of style the way the hair-do’s of the 80′s did. Maybe it’s because I can relate to making ends meet in ways that are more creative and frugal.

My heros of the week are Jo March and John-Boy Walton. My daughter who studies hours to get Straight A’s in school. My mom who fights hurricane-force winds to pick up broken tree branches. My brothers who work hard to pay their bills. My second family, and each of them, individually, who no matter what put God first and family second and the Ducks third… is now a good time to say I’m cheering for the Maple Leafs this year?

Even the Yankees are still my heroes. They’re a good team, and they lost a good game last night. They never gave up the fight. And even Julie, who thinks baseball is utterly boring, was rooting for them. Now that’s friendship!

Just as the seasons change, you can count on them to do so. Each year is never the same as the last, but at least it’s there. Life is never stable, there are no guarantees. But life itself. That’s worth the living.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be published. But I’m still gonna write.
I don’t know if my friends will love me tomorrow, but I’m sure someone will.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I made it through yesterday.

And that, to me, is pretty cool.

 

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Oh, another retro-change. California law now says I can link to Amazon again. Which means in future posts, when you see a link, click it. Like Little Women, or the Waltons. Check out the things I like and want to share with you. Sometimes it will be information. Sometimes a product, a wishlist, or even a song. But always something I enjoy, and think you will too.

Remembering the Me I’ve Forgotten

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I went out to my old employment stomping grounds yesterday. The first stop was at the new office of an old coworker. I’ve known Janice for over a decade, and I’m always surprised by how welcoming and unselfish she is.

I’m also surprised, for having not seen me for a handful of years, how well she remembers me. When I put the past behind me, that often includes associated memories. So I was taken aback, and back, when she started to recount the seemingly tiny interactions we’d had over our duration of working together.

It got me thinking, in my quest to grow and change and move on, exactly how much have I left behind? I had taken a mental box and stuffed so much in there, so much that I no longer remember unless someone else reaches in and pulls it out.

It’s a bit frightening and a lot exciting. Who was I, that they would remember what I’ve forgotten? Are they bits and pieces that still make up who I am, or only discards of who I was?

I’d have to say they are building blocks and stepping stones. Everything has conspired together to make me who I am today, which is still on the road to who I’ll be… someday. I won’t toss aside today while looking forward. So I’m choosing to not throw away yesterday either. Any of it.

Of course, I’ve made more mistakes than I care to cop to; I’ve betrayed people with the water cooler gossip. I’ve sloughed off when I should have worked hard. I lose myself in my temper, in others, in the world, in my own head. Those are the parts I’d love to forget.

I’d love to present myself as Perfect to any and all. I’d love to use a Jedi mind trick: “Forget this, you will.” But I’m not a Jedi. And I’m not perfect. And no matter how hard I try, I never will be.

But I can be the perfect ME, the one I was designed (past tense) to grow into (future tense), and combine the two now (present tense).

It’s not just Janice’s memories that make me who I am. It’s her interaction, her willingness to not forget me, that matter. It’s because of Janice and my family and friends and even acquaintances, that I am on this road to being me. They are not stumbling blocks. They are memories. They are stepping stones and helping hands and study materials. I’m not finished learning this Life-thing. Why would I cast off what I’ve picked up so far?

Some things we take, some things we learn to leave. But when all is said and done, it’s not just my memories that count. It’s the memories I leave with others, too. You’re worth it. All of you.