It’s Friday and I’m Not Going to My Mom’s House For Lunch (Or… What Goes Around, Comes Around)

by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy

My mom and I and Dot are all pretty close. Three generations of women living in close proximity (don’t forget the five female felines!). Mom lives alone, just down the street, but we’re at each other’s house often enough. We talk every day, often. Our houses even have the same floor plan, but reversed. (That explains why we zig when we think we should zag.)

It’s pretty hilarious when I call my mom and we both have the same topics in our heads. We both want to make mac-n-cheese on Saturday. We both watch the same news, listen to the same music (Charlie Rich, Jimmy Dean, and Sinatra… now that’s music!). We both order the same QVC kitchen product, at the same time. We both have the same ideas about home decor, although her theme is Country Spring and mine is Coffee House Autumn colors. Even some of our furniture is the same (she likes white, I prefer dark mocha colors). Not all of this is planned. We just like the same things. We just have the same views on life. We are distinctly different, and wonderfully in sync.

Now, I’m not saying we’re identical. She won’t go to Disneyland with us. I don’t read the papers like her. She doesn’t rock out to the Backstreet Boys and I’m not too successful at gardening. We don’t spend every single moment together. She kicks me and Dot out of her house when she’s tired, and I send her packing when it’s time to watch “Friends” with my daughter. We do separate and have our own lives. We just share them with each other. A lot.

My mom’s turned into my best friend. I wouldn’t be who I am without my Mom. She instilled my love of words. I can’t remember her not reading to us as children, or giving books as toys.

I remember once when I was about seven, she came home from the store and gave my brothers toys. Things they could play with, interact with. And I got a Golden Book, something about a puppy. I was so upset. You can’t play with a book. You can’t make it climb things like a stuffed animal. You can’t build with it like Legos. And so I cried.

Until Mom came over and opened the cover, and asked me to read the first page. Aloud. Without realizing it, I had been swept into a world of saving the puppy, or the puppy saving something else, I forget. What I do remember is the feeling of freedom. While my brothers were confined to the physical attributes of their toys, I had the whole world in my hand. I had an adorably soft little critter who looked at me with his tiny eyes. I had the power to help him on his page-turning journey. I had imagination. I went to sleep that night holding my book. I dreamt of the puppy and our adventures together. The next day, I took out my stuffed animals and reenacted the story.

Indeed, my Mom gave me much more than words on paper that day. She gave me life.

There is no greater thrill I have then my mom’s daily phone calls after she’s read my blog or whatever other writings I’ve sent her way, and to hear her say, “You did good today.” It’s those little backpats that make it worthwhile. Because while I write because I can’t not write; and I write because I was born to write; it’s not her approval I’m after. It’s because I love her and the way she raised me that I write, and try to write well. I’m proud of my mom. I love my mom.

And this is my way of returning the world to her. This is my way of saying, “Yes, I can be the person you raised me to be.” This is my way of letting her know she did good, too.

Thanks, Mom. I heart you.

Sweeten my tea and share:

“As Long As You Love Me”

by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy

Anyone who knows me, knows I’ve recently rediscovered my affinity for the Backstreet Boys.

I fully admit, I have always been one of those girls who dreams of the fairy tale rescue and swoons over love lyrics sung by boy bands. It’s not so much the love stuff as it is, I’ve just always liked bubble gum music. To be honest, I’m sure they could sing about cow patties and I’d find it extremely wonderful.

And on a day when I felt like a cow patty, it was the Backstreet Boys and God who made me feel better.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t know what’s going on? A day where you feel troubled, lonely, sad, or just mellow? A day when everyone else seems content and you seem… left out?

I had a day like that. Friday, February 18, 2011. There was no reason for it. I wasn’t harassed or bothered by anyone. In fact, nobody even noticed. I think that was the point. And in my loneliness, I started thinking about past relationships. I quickly found myself noting the good qualities I missed, and glossing over the bad traits that I’d left. Isn’t that what loneliness does to us? Takes away reality and leaves us with false memories through rose-colored glasses?

I turned to the greatest Love Letter ever written: the Bible. Since it was the 18th, I read Proverbs 18. And came upon verse 10: “The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” I had a beautiful vision of running away from the men of my past, running from their hurts and their intentions, the broken pieces of me that they kept chipping away… and I ran, instead to the arms of my Beloved, my Savior. As I called upon the name of My LORD, He opened his arms. With one arm He scooped me, curled and ashamed, into His protection; with the other, He drew His shield of protection to cover me, us; and thwarted any attacks meant to hurt me. I was safe. Safe in His arms. I breathed in His heavenly scent and relaxed.

I kept that feeling of protection, of worthiness, with me throughout the day. A few hours later I needed to get a few things from the local Target, and as I was passing by the cd’s, I saw it. The Backstreet Boys’ playlist cd. Fourteen of their greatest hits at a discount price. It called me. It called me loudly!

The weather in February is always fickle. I was lucky enough to have one of our first warm days of the year, and a moon-roof in my car that begged to be opened. I put the cd in and was transported back to summer days, long nights, giggling girls, college dates … more emotion than memory. I felt… happy.

The second song began to play. I found myself driving detours back to work just to make it last. My Proverbs Experience came to the forefront, and I was drowned in these words, sung by a boy band; placed in my heart by The Man. I’ll never listen to it the same way ever again.

Truly, no matter where I go, or what I do… I am loved. By the One who loves me back.

Go ahead. Google the lyrics to “As Long As You Love Me.” You’ll see exactly what I mean.

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!

Sweeten my tea and share: