My (im-)Perfect Identity
(Or, How Someone Else’s Questionnaire Led Me to Decide Who I Want to Be)
~#~
NOLA NOTE: Before we get into today’s post, here’s the update: Just after I received the second round of edits last month, my trusted Babycakes II laptop had a nutty. After years of this wonderful relationship, it said, “I’m not liking you any more. I wanna break up. Or, at least, I just want to break.” Now, of course, bein’ the sweet talkin’ Bohemian Belle that I am, I very politely convinced it back into my lovin’ arms. [Read: After a glass of wine and some not-nice words, I salvaged what I could and continued.] Y’all know when you’re in a bad relationship but you just don’t want to own it? Here I was, thinking BCii was back on track. Treasuring our moments together, saving them for posterity. Until … scene jump to two weeks later. BCii and I are on the sofa watching some NCIS: New Orleans, of course. And it whines. And whistles. Mind you, I hadn’t even poked it for a few hours. So this calamitous noise was a little disconcerting. I took a look, asked what its problem was, and it didn’t respond. Zoiks! Insert crazywriterwoman face here! So the next day, I took it to the vetdoctoriStore and when I explained its attitude, the nice man behind the counter agreed it was time to date up. So I conveniently dropped BCii like the hot potato it had become, and got me a new Babycakes. Say hello to BCiii. After all the important information was transferred, I brought BCiii home only to discover BCii had, in its rebellious anger, corrupted the last two weeks of work. So. All those wonderful, genius edits my editor called out? I get to do some of them again. Let me finish by saying, I love NOLA. I love that BCiii loves NOLA, too. But I especially love my note-saving, text-reading, memory-keeping iCloud. Pray for me, y’all. This is a lot of work I hadn’t planned on redoing. This, and with the new day job, the finished product will be a little later than hoped for. But I’ll do it. Because Rain and Josie are worth it. And so are you, my Swarm. I’d love to have y’all join my private Facebook group for more information, memes, and all-around fun. You can join on Facebook by clicking here: NOLA Swarm.Stick around and see what happens . . .
I’ll be attending a writing intensive soon. The kind where the class is limited so the instructors can give one-on-one focus to the participants. The kind where they email you a questionnaire like the CIA is recruiting you for dark web espionage kind of skills. Okay, not really. But, almost. These questions lead you through a list of self-identifiers that are supposed to help you learn more about yourself, so you can learn more about how to present yourself to the world. Questions like, “What kind of music do you listen to?” (All kinds. Almost.) “What were your favorite books as a child?” (All of them. Especially with female heroines.) “How much coffee do you drink daily?” (Uhm, a lot.) “Do you like going to the movies?” (Does anyone not like going to the movies? If so, don’t answer. Just delete. Because we can’t be friends.)
Seriously, Ketchup Man. These are some personally invasive get-to-know-you questions that I don’t even ask on a first date. Well, okay. Maybe the movie and the coffee stuff. But then it gets grittier. Things like, “What do you want your audience to know about you?” “How do you want your audience to feel when they read your book?” “Who is your target audience?”
If I had all the answers, I wouldn’t need this questionnaire, or the class.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : My (im-)Perfect Identity
It’s all about writing, branding, writing, marketing, writing, identity, writing … wait. Identity? Are you serious?
I’ve been accused once or twice (or ten thousand times) of trying to be everything to everyone. Kinda reminds me of a scene in NOLA.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : My (im-)Perfect Identity – excerpt from NOLA by Molly Jo Realy
That doesn’t mean I don’t know who I am. It means I don’t always project it properly. Just recently I had the opportunity to discuss branding and identity with a client. I know. I’m a walking oxymoron. Truth is, we’re all good at giving advice, but we rarely seldom follow it. [I tried to find a video clip for Disney’s Alice in Wonderland singing “Very Good Advice”, but I couldn’t. Google it. You’ll get the picture.] I went through my normal tips of what makes a good marketing platform, how to claim your brand. And through the conversation, my muse kept dancing around in my mind, raising her hand and screaming, “I know! I know!”
Not wanting to claim your identity is not the same as not knowing it.
Thing is, I love all y’all. And I want to attract many, many more of you. So I tone it down. I chameleonize. But if I’m the one writing the script, if I’m being true to myself, you’ll see that, yah? I’m my best self when I’m, well, my best self. Authenticity is better than schmoozing with people you’re not sure you want to hang with after hours, amiright? Well, it’s the same principle IRL (Mom, that means “In Real Life”), and in your inner circles. You gotta trust them the accept you, and you gotta accept the ones you trust.
Networking is a two-way street. I don’t care what the subject is. High school girls at a coffee shop? Oliver and Lauren in Alrujah? Gypsies dancing on cobblestone? Steve Jobs recruiting computer builders? You have to know who you are, you have to own it, before you can ask someone else to invest in your world.
Once you own it, you have to live it.
How do you do that? Your brand should incorporate the part of you that’s easy to display, that draws others in. If you’re always the one at the coffee shop, I’m thinking a mug might be a good symbol. Are you a mechanic? Don’t use a stethoscope. What about the living part? Well, part of you doing you is curating those catch-phrases you’re known for.
When I was young, my brother and I were fairly convinced his name was “Let’s” and mine was “We’ll.” Because every Saturday morning after breakfast, Mom would clap and say, “Okay, let’s vacuum and we’ll dust the living room.” Good marketing, Mom. You could have been a cleaning commercial.
There are a lot aspects that go into making you, You. Remember my analogy of the million-dollar mosaic. We’re all a little broken. It’s how we put ourselves back together to let the sun shine through that makes us valuable.
I recently watched The Greatest Showman for the first time. I know, I know. It took me a while. But once I did, holymaloly. I downloaded that soundtrack right away; been singing it ever since. Y’all, I’m not making this stuff up. Go listen to the song, The Other Side. And then you do you like nobody else. Here’s the official soundtrack link from YouTube:
I know what my brand is, and I’m ready to share it. But before I do, for grins and giggles, leave a comment and tell me what you think my branding should be. And what yours is.
With some Bohemian hair and a magnifying glass,
Happy Identity.
~Molly Jo
Frankly, My Dear . . . Savor the Journey!
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Bohemian Hurricane
Molly Jo is better known as the Bohemian Belle. She is the author/curator of The Unemployment Cookbook and several eBooks available on Amazon. Her work-in-progress, NOLA, is a full-length location mystery novel set in New Orleans, and the first in her City Series.
FiF Fans ~ our newest episodes have been posted. Don’t forget to follow the Firsts in Fiction Facebook Page (and say that five times fast!) for updates, topics, and your opportunity to Ask the Author!
Frankly, My Dear . . . : The Unemployment Cookbook
Hey y’all! I’m so excited for this recipe post!
Last week I celebrated my new career by going to WinCo. Along with a new day gig at the local paper’s ad and digital marketing division, This Girl got paid to present on social media vs. marketing at WOK in Bakersfield, and I bought food with that thar income. So I guess social media really does put food on the table.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Social Media does put food on the table.
Now, the day job won’t start for another day or two, but I quit the old job last week so I could take a few days for things like editing and cleaning and cooking and writing. (Can I get a woot! woot! on that last one? All right! Raise the roof with that noise!)
Girlfriend, let me tell you. My house hasn’t smelled this good since the Christmas cider two years ago. But these smells are a different cooking aroma. Lemme tell ya.
I made two recipes in the last few days. The first is a take on my Cheese Fondue. Now, I’m not gonna tell you how I made it, ‘cuz it was a little strong. Okay, so I’ll tell ya. But the printable recipe will have the better version.
Frankly, My Dear . . . Beer Cheese Fondue
I took 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese, 2 cups shredded Italian 6-Cheese blend, one bottle of pumpkin beer, one bottle of regular beer, one packet of onion soup mix, two tablespoons of cornstarch, and a few dashes of salt and pepper. Honey, it was a lot. And it was spicy. Like, onion-spicy. You know those cooking shows where they tell the contestant to not do that? Yeah. Don’t do that. Instead, follow this recipe:
Just look at those layers of BBQ pork and caramelized onion covered with tangy cheese fondue on crunchy toast. The perfect blend of smooth and savory in every bite. I just found a new meal to feed my people. Honey, I’m gonna open a restaurant with this sandwich, it’s that good! Served with a few chips, apple slices, and some refreshing citrus-infused water, there ain’t nothing better on the block.
But don’t take my word for it. Until my restaurant dream becomes a reality, you’ll have to make it on your own.
What are some of your favorite ways to combine leftovers?
There’s one truth that people tell me almost every day: I have a lot on my plate.
A Lot on my Plate: Del Taco and Jamberry
The first reason I recently signed up as a Jamberry consultant was for the discount. Let’s be real: Who doesn’t love saving money for things you already do? I buy Jamberry, and the more I buy, the more I love. So saving money while doing so is one of my no-brainers. And we’re not talking just five percent, either. We’re talking a substantial reason to keep myself in business.
The more I enjoyed, the more it showed, the more friends became interested in having shows of their own (see what I did there?). So the second no-brainer is to pursue this venture for supplemental income.
My Mother’s Day Jamberry Nails
Okay. Let’s run down that list again:
Substantial discount
Time with friends
Making new friends
Feeling more confident (isn’t that what a great mani-pedi does for every woman?)
Extra income
Wearing Jamberry nail wraps and lacquer allows my creative side to flourish even more. The mix-and-match-ability are never ending. They even have NAS (Nail Art Studio) which allows you to design your own wraps by simply uploading your own art to the website (copyright images not allowed, all images subject to approval).
But back to too much on my plate. Jamberry wraps are quick to apply. The lacquer dries faster than other brands. And they last. Like, a long time. This Girl’s nails were always chipping and peeling what with the amount of paper shuffling, keyboard clacking and housework I do. I was lucky if I could get polish to stay on for three days.
Well, thanks to Jamberry, a tiny investment of money and time allows me to look pretty and feel confident for up to two weeks.
I’ve been asked what my favorite hand care essential is and I have to say, it’s the $10 Cuticle Oil. This little brush-on bottle works wonders in less than a minute. Don’t believe me? A photo (or two) is worth a thousand words.
Thirty seconds: Before and After Jamberry Cuticle Oil
(And check out how awesome my eight-day old lacquer and wraps are holding up!)
The cuticle oil has a light, uplifting fragrance. It doesn’t leave a residue on hands or fingers. It’s almost therapeutic to apply before a jam-packed day (ooh, see what I did there?) or when getting ready for bed.
Sure, $10 (retail) is two Starbucks. Or a dinner out. But it lasts longer than both. I will definitely keep this in my bag and in my nightstand. Because it takes just a small amount, the 0.4 ounce brush bottle lasts a long time. It’s recommended for twice-daily use, but can be used more frequently as the need arises.
If you’d like more information on ordering, hostessing, or joining the Jam With MoJo team, please visit my Jam With MoJo website.
Aaron and I had our monthly business meeting the other day, and as one idea led to another, he ended up with a great new feature on his blog.
First Lines Friday asks, “What was the best first line you wrote this week?” You’ll have all weekend to contribute. Each Monday, Aaron, myself and a guest judge will select a finalist, and at the end of each month, popular vote will select the winner from those finalists.
Each monthly winner will receive a $15 gift card to their choice of Target, Starbucks, or Amazon.
Sounds like fun, yah? But wait. It gets better.
At the end of the year, popular vote will select the grand prize winner from the twelve monthly winners.
What’s the grand prize? I’m so glad you asked. How does a $50 gift card sound? Again, the winner can choose from Amazon, Starbucks, or Target.
That’s right. Just for writing one amazing sentence, you could win a total of $65 in prizes from Aaron D. Gansky. Not bad.
Starting this Friday, June 5, you can be a part of First Lines Friday on his blog.
Of course, if you don’t want to wait, you can click on the photo link above and order your own.
But if you want to have some fun and maybe win an autographed copy, follow the entry instructions on the Rafflecopter link below. And don’t forget to enter Aaron’s First Lines Friday every Friday!
Sometimes I feel I haven’t done enough to advance my writing, but looking back at the two months since I started my GoFundMe campaign, I realize everything’s a matter of perspective.
Go Fund Me: #DoingTheWriteThing
You can click on the link or photo above to follow my progress with #DoingTheWriteThing, without having to make a donation. I truly appreciate support in all forms!
At the beginning of the year, my only resolution was to do life better.
BETTER! 2014
Of course I haven’t accomplished everything on my list, but I have kept that drive alive to push forward no matter what.
I’ve been diligently working on NOLA for over a year. Almost two, if you count those months I formulated everything before writing a single word, and only worked intermittently. I drafted a few ideas, but only started writing the current story just over a year ago.
NOLA Inspiration
With the help of my writing mentor, my critique group, and the local writers club, the story has become stronger, tighter, and ~ dare I say it ~ more mysterious. In the back of my mind, I always knew NOLA was a mystery, but it wasn’t until a few months ago I realized the fullness of the mystery.
My style of writing is both discovery and intuitive. That means I write the story as it comes to me, letting it write itself, letting the characters dictate their own actions for the most part. I don’t know the technical terms for how I do what I do. I just know what works and what doesn’t. That’s the intuitive part.
For a while I got myself wrapped up in trying to follow a structure. It didn’t work. I ended up writing a new introduction to NOLA that told a good story, but it wasn’t my story. It wasn’t my NOLA. So I took the elements I liked and tossed the rest. I combined the best of the first and second drafts and now I’m working on a new NOLA. Thankfully, I have a clearer vision of how to fill in the blanks so the rewrite should only take me a few more months before this draft is fully completed.
In September, Megan departed from The New Inklings due to scheduling conflicts which means, unfortunately, the writing partnership for The Grenalia Chronicles was dissolved. While I’m sad we aren’t working together, we each have great stories to tell and intend to tell them well. I look forward to getting back to writing a fantasy next year, after NOLA.
Beckie has joined The New Inklings and we meet together at least twice a month. She’s well versed in magazine submissions and query letters. She’s a great asset to the NIP Team.
Nip’s Favorite
I’ve been speaking with Beckie as well as my friend Pam about publishing their works next year. Both have amazing stories to tell for young and old, and I’m delighted that they trust me with these writings.
November will be a busy month for writing. I’m attending three Writing Salons, co-hosting another one with Aaron, attending the writers club and the Howl At The Moon Conference.
My friend Tess has signed up for NaNoWriMo. I participated three years ago, and I applaud her determination. Writing 50,000 words for a first-draft novel in thirty days is an amazing accomplishment.
NaNoWriMo 2010 Participant
NaNoWriMo 2010 Winner
I know my writing limits, and since NaNoWriMo requires a new story, not the furthering of an existing one, it’s not on my radar this year. Maybe next year. I have quite a few stories in my mental queue, just waiting to be put into words.
For now, I’m thankful for the progress I continue to make while #DoingTheWriteThing.
