Aug 19, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
This is my response to a Writing Prompt from Writer’s Digest Community last year.
GONE SWIMMING: You and a friend break into your neighborhood swim club late one night to go for an after-hours dip. While splashing around in the pool, you go into shock when a dead body floats to the top. Worse yet – it’s someone you know.
It was perfect. I laughed a conquering laugh, having made it to the other side of the fence without getting caught. My limbs showed the light scratches of the chain-link we just scaled, landing on the damp cement with the quiet of a cat burglar. Joanie called me to wait.
Instead I ran full force, leaping into the enveloping wetness. It felt oddly warm for this time of night, this time of year. Perhaps the snow made it welcoming; 65 degrees in winter is much more appreciated than 65 degrees in summer.
Joanie beckoned me to stay in her frantic presence. I refused her again; reveling in the anti-gravity element. I climbed out only for an Olympic-sized belly flop. I welcomed the shattering pain and dove deeper into tumbles and other gymnastics I learned a lifetime ago. It was easy to drift, knowing I couldn’t get far. Until temptation began its slow tingling crawl into my determination. I kicked and pulled away from the buoyancy in a need to feel the boundaries of my surroundings.
The waters overtook me and I found myself floundering, not knowing which way was up or how much further I could sink. I was startled to feel Joanie’s grip on my arm, pulling me into a lighter darkness, away from the depths and into the moonlight. It was colder in the air above. I shivered as Joanie’s terrified eyes glazed. Without turning, I became aware of a presence following me up from the deeper dark: a body rising to the surface.
It was a wreck. Torn, bloodstained clothes. Terrible scrapes and deep, penetrating cuts on its arms and legs. As I concentrated on the ghastly wounds covering its head, Joanie’s grip released and I was sickened to be drifting closer to the mess before me. The bloodwater threatened to engulf me completely.
There was no spasm, no terrible calamity. Just a slow, methodical turn as the body brought its face to sight. I recognized the body, the face, as my own. I looked at my scrapes from the fence. Blood flowed rapidly from nearly every wound. I felt so dizzy. Was I floating? Or falling? I could feel nothing but the collision of my body becoming one with this, my body, in the cold dark waters.
The pool waters turned thick and red. Joanie fell a world away. Was she still reaching? I could no longer feel or hear her. She was quickly vanishing into a vision blurring into a dream. A very dark dream.
Joanie and I, driving in the wet cold; halfway between dinner and doorway. The flakes came at us like we were tunneling through a pillow fight; thick and unique. We celebrated in our excitement.
The fence transformed into heavy, crunching metal as I flew from its grasp into the water turned to blood, my blood. My body and I collided to welcome each other and sank into the dark tranquility. It was perfect.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Aug 18, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
This couponing gig is more fun than Disneyland!!
Okay, so on my second day of couponing, I first started by getting organized. I went to the local office supply store and spent less about $14 to get small plastic envelopes and one big one, and a pack of labels.
I came home and sorted my coupons and fliers. I now have categories for: Specific Stores (department stores like Kohls or Payless Shoes), Pet Care, Restaurants, Dairy/Meat, Canned Goods, Refrigerator/Freezer, Beverages, Desserts/Sweets, Condiments, Snacks/Chips, Cereal, Toiletries/Hygiene, Household Items, and Receipts.
The big envelope holds the small envelopes and the weekly store fliers. I. Am. Ready!
After checking in with my Coupon Coach to verify my strategy, I headed off to the local Walgreens. Walgreens is a beautiful place. A land of free-flowing sales and wonderfully attentive clerks. A cool, clean atmosphere. And best of all, sales.
Walgreens doesn’t require a Club Card to get their bonuses. They’re available to everyone, all the time. The trick to working them is to know ahead of time what you’re looking for.
If you read my post last week, Nail Polish: If You’re a Guy, You Just Don’t Get It, you’ll understand my excitement at paying just $0.88 for NYC nail polish at Winco. Obviously I’m not into spending much beyond that. But when it’s right, it’s right. And there I was at Walgreen’s, ad in hand, looking at Revlon nail colors. I bit. I bought.
I made four transactions tonight. Four wonderfully successfully cheap transactions. For being my second day of couponing, I call it a huge success!
First, the nail polish. $4.00 plus tax. But I got $3 RR (Register Rewards) back.
Second transaction: Two deodorants on sale, 2/$5.00. I used the $3 RR from above, so only paid $2 plus tax, AND got back $3 RR again.
Third transaction: Two bags of Brach’s autumn mix candies, 2/$3.00. I used the $3 RR from #2, no tax, and got back $1 RR. Can you imagine? THEY paid ME $1 to take the candy!
Fourth transaction: 12 rolls of Cottonelle toilet paper, on sale for $5.00. I used a $1.00 store coupon, $0.75 manufacturer coupon, and the $1.00 RR. Walgreens will let you stack coupons for the same item, as long as your total items equal your total coupons. Meaning, because I had two Toilet Paper coupons, I needed two items in this transaction. So I picked up a $0.49 Snickers bar. The toilet paper cost me just $2.25 plus tax.
All told, I purchased $23 worth of goods for less than $10 Out Of Pocket. That’s “OOP” in coupon lingo. Another important word in the Couponing World is “Stockpile”. As in, I now have 12 rolls of toilet paper in my stockpile cabinet.
Hey. It’s a (cheap) start. Egypt wasn’t saved in a day. The point is, it was saved.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Aug 16, 2011 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
Yes, this post is actually about coupon clipping.
No, I am not some poverty-stricken rundown woman with curlers in my hair dangling a cigarette. Neither am I an extremist who’s going to hoard supplies that I’ll never use. While the thought of selling to my neighbors in times of dire need sort of thrills me (especially since my neighbors CHOOSE to not be prepared), I guess I’m not really an I-told-you-so kinda gal.
But I am a storyteller, so here’s today’s story.
I’ve clipped coupons before, saved a few bucks here and there. But this weekend I watched a handful of “Extreme Couponing” on one of those cable home improvement networks. Which I found ironic, because last week I joined a local Facebook group, “Bargain Babes”, started by my friend Genny. She’s a great couponer, and now she shares her wisdom and experience with the group. It’s very interactive. Since we all live in the same area, we each post the different sales and rewards that we know of so others can find the same great deals. It’s a sisterhood of scissoring.
Suffering from a ridiculous allergy attack or severe summer cold (still not sure yet which it is, but that’s a different story…), I didn’t do much of anything yesterday but rest a lot and clip a little. I reviewed the current ads, my current coupons, and I made my list. I called the local market to make sure I knew their coupon policy. Yes, they double the value but only up to $1.00 total savings per item. Yes, they take internet coupons. No, they do not take expired coupons.
Armed with a two-page list of what coupons I wanted to use, and only six other items on my grocery list, I made my way to several stops.
First, I know a lot of people will take whatever they can get for free or near-free. Brand names don’t matter to them. Unfortunately, because my daughter and I both suffer from chemical allergies, I am cautious to switch once I find a brand name product that really works for us. Having said that, I’m not above trying new things as long as I know they won’t hurt me.
Second, stack ’em high! The store I went to today doubles the coupon value. Score! If I have a store coupon and a manufacturer’s coupon, each for $0.50 for the same item, I can use them both. That means, each coupon is doubled to a dollar, and since I have two coupons, I’ve just saved $2.00 on one item! Some coupons require you to buy two or more of the item to get the savings. Guess what? Stack ’em again! Same scenario as above, same two coupons, PLUS a third coupon good for $0.50 off one item. Doubled again. I just saved three bucks. Which makes my on-sale granola bars, FREE. How awesome is that?
Third, get a rain check. If a store advertises a sale, but that product isn’t on the shelf, go to Customer Service with the ad, and have them issue you a rain check. This worked for me the week before Easter when I was in search of a head of cabbage. Vons had a ridiculously great price in their ad. But when I showed up in the produce section, I was told “someone” forgot to order the cabbage. They didn’t have any. But I got a rain check for the sale price, good for 90 days. No, it didn’t help my Easter dinner. I bought cabbage elsewhere for that. But I was able to later get more cabbage for $0.33 when everyone else was paying close to $1.00. Nifty, huh?
Fourth, don’t have a coupon for a favorite item? Go online. Most companies offer printable coupons on their websites. If not, you can call and praise them and they’ll usually send some to you. The drawback of this, is that they only send you a few, and you have to wait for snail-mail time, which is usually several weeks to over a month. When my daughter was born, I called her formula maker and they sent me new coupons every month. Not just the cheap-o “buy ten, save $0.30” kind either. They were awesome coupons. “Buy two get one free.” Who doesn’t love free?
Fifth. Don’t go all over town for a $2.00 savings. You’ll spend more than that in gas. Every stop I made today was within one mile of each other. It made it a lot easier to hit one side of the street, then head back in the other direction. Piece of pie!
So.There I am this morning with my lists and my budget and my daughter. First up: CVS Drugstore. I figured I’d dip my toe in the water before I dive on it. I had two coupons for the same item: Advil. The first coupon was Buy 3/Save $5. The second was Save $2. For the first coupon, I picked up three travel size Advil. You know, the mini bottles that only hold ten tablets. They were supposed to be $3.29 each. With tax, it was over $10. I used my CVS Saver card and Green Tag. This is a leaf-shaped tag with a bar code they scan once a day. If you use the Green Tag, they don’t bag your items. I either bring my own bag or put the items in my purse. Four every four swipes, you get a $1.00 Register Reward. So my first purchase with the three Advils cost me only $5 and change, plus I got my $1 RR. The second Advil was $4.49 plus tax. Minus my $2 coupon, minus my $1 RR, I paid only $1.76 for a $5 bottle of pain reliever. I’m pretty happy about that! And now I’m hooked.
I saved 15% on a box of Cafe Mocha k-cups at Bed, Bath & Beyond with their coupon.
Then I headed to Vons. My total rang up to $169. With my Vons rewards card, I saved $35. Then I handed the clerk my coupons. All my coupons. Pretty much one (or more) for almost every item I bought. And item by item, I watched the total go down. The end result? $107 and change.
And you know what? It was fun. Can’t wait to do it again.
There are many more lessons I’m learning. By no means, am I an expert. But for my first real couponing attempt today, I feel pretty successful. Especially when I treated my daughter to lunch at McDonald’s and for less than the price of one combo meal, we used our free drink coupons, ordered cheap sandwiches and had lunch together. No fatty fries. Good savings. Great day.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
