I just published Hidden Files, about discovering some old writings I’d forgotten or pushed to the sides. I found writings I’d intended to publish on a former Blog. It was a blog that had three readers, and lasted four or five months. For obvious reasons, I shut it down and started Frankly, My Dear… which seems to be doing so much better. [Thank you, kind readers!]
I came across these two in particular. I apologize they’re a bit unclear; the only way to capture the entire essence and word structures was to save them as a PDF-photo and enlarge them here. It makes the letters a bit blurred; but still readable.
I was surprised at the raw honesty of these two posts. The cursing of emotions that I was willing to announce. But mostly, I’m pleased because I can now look at it from The Other Side instead of In The Moment. I am no longer That Girl in That Moment. I am now The Girl Who Grew.
I’m at peace with different events in my life. I’m at peace with the absence of what I once thought was love. Now, before you get all riled up in my defense, I will add this disclaimer: I’m very good friends with the “enemy” of these posts. He knows I write about him now and then. We talk often. He was a lousy almost-boyfriend; but he’s always been the best of friends.
And I’m at peace with the experience. It was years ago when I was younger and unsure of myself. I had little to offer someone else, other than, as he affectionately tells me, requests for High Maintenance.
I read these posts yesterday. And I smiled.
Because I’m not who I was. I’m who I am. And even that’s not Who I’ll Be.
And I’m okay with that.
Because I’m living for the future.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!