Jul 24, 2017 |
by Jacqueline Patterson @JacPatterson
Paige’s Plantation – How to be a Southern Belle in Ten Easy Steps
Have you always wanted to be a Southern Belle, but were raised in the foreign field beyond the Mason-Dixon line? Follow these fail-proof tips and you’ll soon convince anyone you were raised on Tara.
1. Use “y’all” like salt; sprinkle a little bit everywhere. We’ll be testing you according to your ability to use common Southern speech. Bless your heart.
2. Learn how to make good biscuit. Note that I DID NOT SAY BISCUITS. Biscuits –plural— are the nasty glob you find in cans at Wal-Mart. Biscuit —singular— are handmade goodness so delicious they’ll make you slap your mama. Apologies, Mama. The biscuit made me do it.
3. If the tea isn’t sweet, don’t drink it. Being offered unsweetened tea is an insult, because any true Southerner knows tea is just liquid sugar. Your best option is to be off like a herd of turtles.
Frankly, My Dear . . .: If it ain’t sweet, it ain’t tea!
4. If the occasion calls for an insult, sugar it down. Add a little “Bless your heart, Hun”, or an affectionate “deah” and grin like a mule eating briars. After all, Southern ladies hide their animosity beneath a thick layer of syrup.
5. The Gone with the Wind gown may not be necessary, but are you really going shopping in jeans and a T-shirt? Not unless you want them to think you’re not a lady, honey. You’ve got to shine. Break out the heels and the jewelry. Also, a true Southern lady knows to choose a handbag so big it makes her hips look small.
6. Citronella is your perfume of choice during the summer (and every other season down South). Also, this is the way to catch a good man. He’ll latch onto you once he realizes you’re a mosquito-free zone.
7. When you need to really impress, break out your mounted deer heads. A true Southern lady provides food for her household, you know. How else are we supposed to know you’re a decent human being and a good shot?
8. The bigger the hair, the better. And on Easter morning? Fluff it out like an 80’s glamor shot, hun. Otherwise everyone in church will look at you like you’re the three-legged dog in a horse race.
9. A true Southern lady is proud of her social skills. The best of us can carry on a conversation with a live possum and come away smiling. Of course, it helps if the possum is smiling too.
10. And, as always, remember to just be yourself. Only, of course, sweetened up with a little accent and a smile so big it’ll make the sun blush.
How do you stay Southern? Leave a comment.
TWEET THIS: Tweet: How to be a Southern Belle in Ten Easy Steps @RealMojo68 @JacPatterson #southernbelle #franklymydear
And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!
Jacqueline Patterson
Dragon Tamer. Ancient Rome fanatic. Writer living on the edge of fictional worlds. J. A. Patterson attempted to teach herself to write at the age of four, wrote her first book (featuring eerily violent chickens) at age five, and has been immersed in books ever since. Sometimes literally. When she isn’t writing, you can find her studying music, reading, and searching for portals to new fantasy worlds. Talk to Jacqueline about books, and she will be your friend forever. You can connect with her through her website and blog J.A.Patterson, on Twitter and Instagram.
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Jul 23, 2017 |
by Molly Jo Realy @RealMojo68
Frankly, On Faith.
There are many Bible verses that discuss God’s time. He is eternal, but we are not. We have an earthly beginning and end. And in the current pressures to multi-task and do more, more, more, we often feel we can’t keep up and will never get any of it done.
In those moments, it’s okay ~ good, even ~ to step back. Step down. Say, “Wait.” Say, “No.” It’s good to know we don’t have to do it all, and we don’t have to have it all done at the same time. It’s good to focus on what’s really important.
God gives us time and time again, His all. His forgiveness. His strength. His beauty. His peace. He doesn’t count to three and say, “You’re out.” He doesn’t even remember the nagging.
Please, God. Fix the this. Handle the that. Do it. Do it. Do it.
No, God simply says, “I’m with you. And you’re enough for me just the way you are.”
And He’s waiting for us to say it right back to Him.
To spend time with Him is the ultimate gift we can give.
“But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends:
A day is like a thousand years to the LORD,
and a thousand years is like a day.”
~2 Peter 3:8 NLT
Do you think your thirty second prayer doesn’t count? It does. Is it insignificant when you sleepily breathe, “Good night, Lord. Thank you for another day.”? Not at all. He knows all about you, He knows all of you. He knows your heart. And if you continue to go to Him, your seconds will turn to minutes to hours to days until they lead you to eternity.
Frankly, On Faith: Time for Everything
There is no amount of time on earth so slight that He doesn’t want to be a part of it. There is no moment in your life He doesn’t want to be with you, for you, for your world.
TWEET THIS: Frankly, On Faith: Time for Everything. @RealMojo68 #franklyonfaith #God #Bible
And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!
Jul 22, 2017 |
by Molly Jo Realy @RealMojo68
Social Media Selections
I’m often asked which media platform I prefer, and why. My answer is simple: “All of the above. Because.”
Choosing one venue is like eating only white rice for the rest of your life. Not a mix. Not sometimes long grain and sometimes wild. Just. white. It’s bland. And sure, you can fix it up with some butter and Southern seasonings, but it’s still always going to be just white rice.
Your audience’s social media appetite is the same. You can’t serve them the same fodder and expect them to appreciate it every single time.
Now, we all know Facebook and Twitter are it. I mean, for realz. That’s where the action is, am I right? But I’m also a huge HUGE HUGE fan of Instagram. Because we are becoming creatures of instant attentions, an INYOURFACE graphic will grab attention before a compelling headline.
Frankly, My Dear. . . FROGINYOURFACE!
Case in point: Did y’all read the sentence above first, or glance at the visual? If you’re like me and many of my partners in crime social media cohorts, colors will get you every time. Even if you don’t like the color. It evokes a visceral response, yah? “That’s such a lovely crocus.” or “Can you believe he wore that tie in public?”
Now, I’m not saying every post should be visual. That’s just a rice salad. Nah. Don’t do that.
Think of your social media like a stir-fry or buffet. A little this, a little that. Some meat and potatoes, a side dish, and of course, dessert. Don’t forget something to wash it all down with.
And who doesn’t love a great community potluck? Now and then, invite your friends and family to participate. Share their posts and links. Go visiting. Bring back something delicious.
Okay, have I overdone it with the foodie references? I know. I’m sorrynotsorry. But there’s something to be said with serving up a variety. Even when using the same platter, make sure what you’re serving isn’t always stale leftovers.
How do you serve your social media followers?
TWEET THIS: Frankly, My Dear. . . : Serving up Social Media @RealMojo68 #socialmedia #franklymydearmojo
TWEET THIS: Frankly, My Dear . . . : How do you serve your social media followers? @RealMojo68 #socialmedia #franklymydearmojo
And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!
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