Mar 1, 2015 |
For several months, I’ve not been writing. At least not to the extent I was last summer.
It wasn’t writer’s block, exactly. I had a lot to say. I just got in my own way of saying it.
The thought had come upon me that what I had to say was far less valuable than what others had to say. That my words were less worthwhile than life.
I stumbled over the thought that perhaps
I am insignificant.
I’ve been going through the motions, attending critique groups, writers club, and special events. I’ve been editing and socializing and marketing and networking and doing all the things a successful writer does . . . except writing.
There are some moments that belong to others, stories I shouldn’t share. Seasons that are too personal to blog about. And life that moves too quickly to put it on paper.
February brought adventure into my world that I didn’t know it needed. Not only did Dot get engaged, they are already married and next week, heading to Seattle for a great opportunity for both of them. I’m utterly sad to see them leave, but it’s with open arms that I can let them go, and embrace the new part of my life.
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
~ A. A. Milne, “Winnie the Pooh”
I was suffocated with a momentary fear that I don’t know how to be my own person. I’ve lived my live so consistently for other people . . . what will it be like to live alone?
And I saw the doors open on a new horizon.
I’m already chatting with WinCo Foods to create new #CookingForOne recipes.
My friends want me to share my journey of being pushed into an Empty Nest so quickly.
I’ve discovered that girlfriends, writers, and God are more important now than before.
There’s no lack of writing material for this new life.
I’m going to turn the extra room into a media/workout room.
I can write late into the evenings without interruption.
I’m able to stay out later, go out more often, and do more things because there’s not a second person’s schedule or dinner plans to coordinate with.
I’m no longer a single mom. I’m just single. And I’m okay with that.
Of course, I still have five cats and writing and home improvement projects. Those haven’t changed. But I’m seeing life differently.
I’m seeing it boldly and in living color.
I’m seeing HOPE.
HOPE is the thing with feathers . . .
Later this month, I’m having an Empty Nest party to celebrate my new adventures.
And I’ve decided that celebrating every day is an adventure in itself.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
2015: HOPE
But I’m not good enough to attend a Christian writers conference . . .
Winco Wins
I am Defined. And I am a Mystery.
Feb 18, 2015 |
Isaiah 65:24 (NIV) reads
“Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.”
I’ve always believed, because God is outside of space and time, that He has already heard the prayers the future me will pray.
For quite a few months last year, I struggled with morning anxiety. Waking up was painful as I was faced with so many unknowns: the deteriorating health of loved ones, incomplete projects, financial instability, family schedules . . . the list goes on and on.
I was unable to really write or even blog. I struggled with what to share and who to share it with.
I continued to pray in moans that only the Holy Spirit could interpret for me, knowing that God had a plan and even though I may not see it, it is good.
My Life Verse ~ Jeremiah 29:11
In retrospect, I can see how everything happens for a reason. In retrospect, I understand that I was getting in my own way.
I found this reminder note in my desk drawer at work and posted it to my private Facebook page, but I want to share it here, too, because, well, quite frankly, it needs to be shared.
December 8, 2014
On the morning of December 8th, 2014…
When I was waking every morning with anxiety
When I had writers block
Before Rick finally went to his heavenly home
Before Alex asked for my blessing to marry Hannah
Before I was blessed with finances for TWO important writers conferences
Before I started grocery shopping for one
Before I had health insurance
Before I picked up a paying client for media/marketing
Before our lives were shaken, stirred, pressed but not crushed, running over …
Before all these great and glorious moments, on the morning of December 8, 2014, I had a Heavenly dream. God put His calming hand on my shoulder and spoke to my soul and said, “It’s going to be all right. I hear you, and I’m already working on it.”
I am reminded every moment that God is a personal God, that He cares about every part of my being, that He is making me whole.
He cares about you, too. He’s already heard your prayers. And He’s already working on it.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
But I’m not good enough to attend a Christian writers conference . . .
2015: HOPE
It’s Complicated, Part Two: Christianity
More or Less: 29 Words
“As Long As You Love Me”
Feb 14, 2015 |
I don’t care about the book. I don’t care about the movie.
I do care about the conversations going around Facebook and other social media sites.
I don’t care if your Christian or not. I don’t care if you like the book or the movie, or not.
Here’s what it boils down to for me:
The crux of the controversy is whether or not Christian people should go see this movie. I’ve read interesting arguments for both sides, and the main consensus is, it’s ultimately harmless, and what happens in a bedroom between two consenting adults is their business.
Wait. Did you read that? It’s their business. Not mine, not yours. And certainly not a theater full of 200 or more strangers.
If your belief is, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, then
LET IT STAY IN THE BEDROOM!
Don’t promote YOUR sex life (fantasy, real, or something in between) on MY television screen, MY social media page, or IN PUBLIC.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t say “it’s just between a man and woman” and air it in a movie theater. You can’t say pornography is a private issue, then blast commercials promoting it on a big screen.
I will not read this book. I will not see this movie. And it’s not because of my Christian beliefs. It’s because I believe sex is between a man and a woman and them only! It’s an act of intimacy, trust, vulnerability. It’s not coffee with friends, or shopping at the mall.
Don’t think for one minute I’m a prude. I just don’t agree with getting hot and bothered by watching something in a room full of strangers.
When do we draw the line between hypocrisy and human dignity? When do we say there are just some things that don’t need to be mainstream?
Especially on Valentine’s Day weekend. What a horrid message to send! Love is so much more than someone telling you what to do, or taking away your individuality.
Do what you want to do. But please keep your private life private. And if you agree with this, please don’t go see the movie.
Just some things I’ve been thinking about.
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
