MJR: Frankly, My Dear . . . - Frankly, My Dear . . .

You Matter. Period.

Jun 9, 2015 | 8 comments

For Nathan and Pam and Naomi and Lori and Cindy and all my Marys and Beckies and everyone I’ve been talking to. I hope you know how each of you has helped me. I hope I’ve been able to return that help.

God – December 8, 2014

A few days ago, I posted a lengthy status on my personal Facebook page. Since then, people have commented, sent messages, and shared.

It’s no secret where I stand in my faith. I’m not a Bible thumper. I’m not perfect. In fact, I revel in my imperfectness. I’m just glad there’s a God who loves me the way I am, and who continues to help me be a better person for the world around me.

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
~2 Corinthians 12:7b-9, NIV

Let’s face it. Life is hard. It’s hard when you know God. It’s hard when you don’t know God. This post isn’t about God. It’s about Christians and the disservice we do to one another in our own community by expecting only the Pretties to be seen, by submerging the imperfections, the thorns, the scars.

If we as Christians portray only a perfect example of God, how can draw people closer to Him? If we tell seekers “It’s okay that you’re broken” then why do we expect completeness of ourselves?

The Christian Community can send out false messages. Not intentionally, mind you. I believe our desire is to attract others to Christ, and we feel we can’t do that if we’re shattered or chipped.

I disagree.

We are all damaged. One way or another, we are all broken.

I’m okay with that.

“Stop forcing a catastrophe where there’s not even a storm.”

Because God is the True Healer. He can, has, and will continue to heal my brokenness whether it is caused by others or myself. Whether my brokenness is physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, financial, or any-other-al, He continues to seek me out and heal me.

The healing may not come in the way I want, or as fast as I think I need. But His timing is perfect. And I’m okay with waiting on Him.

Cuz Father knows best.

The following is the Facebook post from a few days ago. I hope it starts a dialogue of honesty and openness. I hope everyone has a friend who accepts them unconditionally. And if you want to know more about my God, I hope you ask.

Please read, comment, share. And watch the video at the end.

Life is hard. But God is always good.

I promise.

You Matter.

~#~

June 7, 2015

So an interesting thing happened. Late last night I posted a status (now removed) of how it’s okay that I’m angry with God. I received some comments and messages that others are praying for me, that others understand, and a few that cautioned me about being so public about it.
Here’s the thing, and I’m not upset, just puzzled . . . but here’s the thing.
Not one person asked WHY. Not one person asked, “How can I help?”
And it saddens me. Not because I need attention (although we all do, right?). Not because I feel alone (I mostly don’t). But because the impression or attitude seems to imply that as a Christian I’m not allowed to have bad days, that I should share only joy and keep the rest to myself.
And it makes me wonder, if the people I know are Christian (myself included), if we are sending out these vibes that it’s not okay to be NOT okay, how are we being authentic? How are we letting others know we’re there for them?
Do we as Christians stifle the outreach and community of those who need us? Is it possible by saying “This isn’t the time or place” that what they hear is “You’re not worth my time or energy”?
I have a lot going on. So do you. So does everyone. I don’t air my “dirty laundry” for everyone. In fact, there is not one single person who knows everything. There are some who know most, some who get headlines without details, and some who get only one story or prayer request instead of the whole basket.
I’m not advocating spilling your entire life on Facebook or other public forum. I’m not agreeing with those people who are “virtue suckers” and complain just to get attention.
But do the people who need us know we’re here for them? Do they really know?
Or have we made it too hard for them to reach out? Have we made them fearful that we won’t reach back?
Or worse, do we assume because we already know them that we know what the current moment is about? Do we pray for them, consider them, reach out to them based on past experiences?
Or do we say “I’m still praying . . .” for whatever issue WE think needs prayer.
When was the last time you came up to a friend and said, “Tell me what’s really going on.”? And didn’t fill your head with presumptions of who you think they are and what you think they’re going through?
So many of us are really going through our own hell on earth, yet we’re expected to live daily as if we’re not. So many of us are so skewed by our own hells that we can’t see someone else’s is different. We can’t see that we’re sometimes hurting instead of helping.
So I apologize, here, publicly, to all my family and friends. I’m sorry that I’ve not reached out to see where you’re at or how I can help you. I’m sorry that I put myself first — my own thoughts and ideas of how life should be, of how you’re doing it wrong, of how you’re not there for me. I’m sorry for not being there for you in the capacity I should be.
I’m sorry.
But hear this: You’re important to me. In many different ways.
Our lives are silk webs that criss-cross and intertwine and pull others into and out of the design and I want to strengthen your thread.
I want to be here for you.
I’ve ignored you, I’m sorry. I’ve made you feel less important, I’m sorry. I’ve made my own hells more important than yours, and that is farce. Everyone’s hell is important. Everyone needs a helping hand to get out and rise above the crud that tries to buries us.
This is me. Being as authentic as I’m allowed to be.
I let you down, and I’m sorry.
I’m here for you now. All of you.
All I’m asking is that you be here for me, too.
And the rest of your people.
Make sure they know.

~#~

And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!

You may also enjoy reading:
Are they hearing you?
Stop Fighting and Be Still.
Before You Pray
More or Less: 29 Words

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RAFFLECOPTER: Aaron D. Gansky’s First Lines Friday

Jun 3, 2015 | 5 comments

Aaron and I had our monthly business meeting the other day, and as one idea led to another, he ended up with a great new feature on his blog.

First Lines Friday asks, “What was the best first line you wrote this week?” You’ll have all weekend to contribute. Each Monday, Aaron, myself and a guest judge will select a finalist, and at the end of each month, popular vote will select the winner from those finalists.

Each monthly winner will receive a $15 gift card to their choice of Target, Starbucks, or Amazon.

Sounds like fun, yah? But wait. It gets better.

At the end of the year, popular vote will select the grand prize winner from the twelve monthly winners.

What’s the grand prize? I’m so glad you asked. How does a $50 gift card sound? Again, the winner can choose from Amazon, Starbucks, or Target.

That’s right. Just for writing one amazing sentence, you could win a total of $65 in prizes from Aaron D. Gansky. Not bad.

Starting this Friday, June 5, you can be a part of First Lines Friday on his blog.

And starting now, you can help spread the word and be entered to win an autographed copy of his book, Firsts in Fiction: First Line Hooks, Hints & Help.

Firsts in Fiction: First Line Hooks, Hints & Help

Of course, if you don’t want to wait, you can click on the photo link above and order your own.

But if you want to have some fun and maybe win an autographed copy, follow the entry instructions on the Rafflecopter link below. And don’t forget to enter Aaron’s First Lines Friday every Friday!

And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Are they hearing you?

May 31, 2015 | 2 comments

People hear what they want to hear.

Children have selective hearing that picks up words like “ice cream” and ignores others like “chores”. When a friend asks, “How are you?”, they’re already hoping you’re going to ask them the same question. Our lifestyles are wired to be self-fulfilling, and serving others is a secondary agenda.

But what if what you have to say is important? So important, it could be a life changer? And what do you do if your audience refuses to listen?

Microphone, empty chair. Is this thing on?

Is Thing Thing On?

In the last few years, I’ve changed jobs, quit a relationship, and forayed into more writing, media, and public speaking.

With each new experience, I’ve tried to still the waters behind me. I had a burning desire to explain myself, to be heard.

It’s not you, it’s me.

But the truth is, it was them, too. And I don’t owe them an explanation.

I was called to move on, not to stand still.

I’m not advocating telling your boss off or always needing to be the center of attention. But you have a message to say, and if others aren’t listening or respecting you, it’s okay to move on and find your audience.

Is there anyone out there?

In fact, God instructs us to leave the past in the past.

“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words,
leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”
~Matthew 10:14, NIV

When God says “GO”, are you going? Or are you slowly dragging your feet, hoping He meant “later”? Hoping He meant “together”?

We all need to support our families. We all have a need to be loved. We all need to be heard.

It’s hard to make changes and keep going. It can be super scary to climb those steps when you don’t know what’s at the top.

Those Daunting Steps

But there are some situations when we need to take that leap of faith and trust that God knows more about our path than we do.

Stopping in hope someone else understands, trying to reason with people who choose not to hear, is telling God that while He may have a decent plan, it just doesn’t work.

I don’t know about you,
but I don’t want to ever be the one
to tell God
His plan won’t work.

Think on this: If you’re sharing your message but not being heard, it’s not you, it’s them.

Here’s another: If you’re compromising your message to stay where you’re at, it’s not them, it’s you.

Are you listening? Don’t drag them with you. Leave the unlisteners where they are. It’s okay to move on without them. God will lead you to where He needs you to be.

It’s hard, to be sure. Especially if you’re a people-person.

But it’s the right thing to do.

Your audience is everyone you come into contact with. Not just daily, but even those once-in-a-while folks you might not otherwise think of.

Coworkers
Friends
Neighbors
People at church and community functions
When you run errands to the store or gas station
Strangers on the phone or in the next car

Are you sharing your message? Are you actively seeking out your audience? If you’re doing your part but those doors keep closing on you, it’s time to find a new audience.

Do whatever it takes to live the message God has called you to live and to take care of the family He’s given you.

Pray for divine appointments
for Him to bring people you can encourage,
and for those who can encourage you.

A Pastor at my church used to tell everyone, “We’re all in this together.” And he was right. This life isn’t just about me, or you, or us, or them. It’s about us all.

We’re all in this together – Are you doing your share?

And it’s okay to venture out into the big, scary world when God tells you. Just don’t look back. Shake off the unbelievers and follow Him around the bend. You may not know what’s ahead, but He does. And He’s really glad you’re coming with Him.

Remember this: God never calls the equipped. He equips the called.