Feb 10, 2014 |
Yesterday I wrote a post about why I’m happy to be single. At least until the Right One comes along, and I’m not really in a hurry to play games to get to that point. When he and I meet, there won’t be any games.
I received some wonderful feedback almost immediately. What struck me most was the support of my singleness. Someone called me courageous. Another called me an example. I don’t really think I’m any of those things, really. Not by choice. I am single. I have to get through life right now without a Significant Other. But that doesn’t make me any better than a couple who’ve been together for decades and longer.
Still. These comments made me think. I thought about the caption I wrote for the diamond photo. I realized I have more to say. So I developed it more for today’s post title.
Life is Rough. I’m still a Diamond.
My friend Debi said I can encourage “a whole lot of women”. I appreciate that. I appreciate my friends get what I’m saying, and honor me by commenting and sharing. Their value is… well, invaluable.
The deeper message isn’t about being Single & Strong.
It isn’t about dating or opposite sex issues or anything like that.
In fact, this message is good for anyone. Any gender. Any age. Any relational status.
Are you ready? Pay attention! Here it is:
We’re all diamonds.
That’s it. That’s the deeper message.
We are all diamonds.
In our own way, we all have something amazing to offer the world. We are often rough, and the world comes at us with its tools and starts to shape us. Sometimes we get nicked. Sometimes it’s a smooth cut. We lose pieces of ourselves. We split and are widespread.
But we are all extremely valuable.
I don’t know what your life situation is. You may feel stuck. There are far too often outside factors that slow down or prohibit you from being the person you completely want to be.
But know this: You are a diamond.
You are multi-faceted and shine and refract the world around you. It’s the ones who look deep that can see inside you, see what you’re truly made of and what surprises you hold. Who see that you are strong. You are beautiful. You are worthy. And you are valuable.
Are you one of them?
Do you know your own worth?
I’ve always had an affinity for the Hope Diamond. [Not gonna lie: secret wish #97 is that I would be rich enough some day to own it. I’d still keep it at the Smithsonian. But I’d sure love to be the owner.] [Sans that, secret wish #8 is to visit the Smithsonian and see it in person.] The history. The mystery. The beauty. The extravagance. It utterly captivates me.
And when I feel like I could change the world, I feel like the Hope Diamond.
I’ve been experiencing an upward shift in my confidence level since the new year began. I’m not sure which came first, but choosing Better as my word of the year was an exceptionally smart choice.
I’m choosing this year to be the Better Person that I know I can be. Will you choose to do the same?
It’s not always easy. It’s not always clear. You won’t always know Step Two before you take Step One.
But Step One is where it starts.
Step One is important.
Step One is knowing.
Who do you want to be?
“Fake it til ya make it” is a phrase I hear often and it works.
Stop wishing for something. Act like you’re already there. Take steps to make it happen. Don’t hide under the blankets or behind closed doors. Go out into the world. See what you can offer it, and you’ll be wonderfully surprised at how much you get back.
Don’t feel too worthy? Dress up a little. Tidy up your hair and clothes. Say hi to a stranger. Smile. A lot.
Don’t focus on your problems. Focus on their solutions. It can take a while. Maybe you don’t think there is a solution. That’s okay. Maybe you need a backup plan. Maybe you need another path. Or maybe you just need to sit and be still and refresh. That’s okay, too.
Sometimes just breathing can give you clarity and confidence. Why do you think people take big breaths before walking onto a stage?
Be who you’re supposed to be: a Diamond. Shine, shimmer and share! Even a tiny shard of light is brighter than the darkness around it.
Do you admire someone else? A friend, relative, mentor, teacher, coworker, neighbor? What is it about them that you admire? Is it possible for you to reflect even one of their qualities to get you on your path?
I noticed that the successful writers in my world write. Often. Regularly. They’re less stuck on editing and more into creating. That’s who I want to be. So I dropped the red pen and just kept writing. Editing can come later. But getting the words out even if rough form is still writing.
There are people around me every day struggling with life. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade! I see an underlying strength, a perseverance they exhibit all the time. And so I’ve learned to take a step back from any situation and just wait. Five seconds. Five minutes. Five days. Just wait, and look at it differently. Maybe a tragedy isn’t as tragic. Maybe a good idea isn’t the best plan on the planet. Thinking things through is a great way to slow down my mistakes.
What I noticed most about people I admire, people I want to be like, is their smile. I want that confidence. I want the security of knowing I’m on the right track, doing the right thing.
How can I call myself a writer if I don’t write? And if I am a writer, why be insecure about it?
So here it is (she said with a smile):
I am a writer. And a mighty fine great one, at that.
The rest of the world may not know it yet. But they’ll catch on.
Until then, I’m still writing. Still smiling. Still becoming the person I’m meant to be.
I hope you are, too.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote.
Feb 9, 2014 |
I’m single. Does that make February a hard month for me? Not at all. Being single doesn’t mean I’m lonely. I have a full time job that I absolutely love. I have family that lives nearby and an adult daughter who lives at home while navigating through her own busy albeit single life. We have our individual and collective social lives.
Don’t feel sorry for me, for us.
We’re not that lonely.
We play games together. I write. She bowls. We cook, clean, run errands together. We spend time apart. She bowls. I do coffee. We’re very busy.
So we’re not that lonely.
Mind you, I often think it would be nice to have someone taller and stronger around to handle things like cutting down the trees that are still standing or bagging up the endless piles of leaves they leave. Someone to pay the dinner bill once in a while. Someone to replace the light bulb. Carry the grocery bags. Someone to share life with. But I don’t go to bed alone and cry about it. I just don’t.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in a local store. Not finding what I needed, a worker offered to search storage for me. Sure enough, he returned with the goods. We chatted a bit. It was nice. He was nice.
A few days later and I returned to the store. We struck up another conversation. He was very easy to speak with. Attractive. And that second most important factor: age appropriate.
The conversation went well, but I had a nudging feeling. Something not quite right. I called him on it. He’d said he was divorced but his finger was shaped as if a ring had just been removed. Then he said he was living with someone.
I asked him why. I was curious why someone would be in a relationship and think it’s okay to ask someone else out. He said he’s with her “because it’s comfortable”. Because it’s a place to go home to. But that he really liked me.
I’m sorry. But I’m not that lonely.
I was a little discouraged, and yet encouraged. I can be just friends with him. I was upfront with him. I’m a Christian, I’m a single mom, and I don’t play games. The only thing he would get from me is conversation in the store. Not even a phone number? No, sir.
I have to admit, those first few non-dates were exciting. I liked the attention he gave me. The compliments. The conversation. In short periods of time we discussed faith, family, jobs and relationships. At first I thought he was on the verge of leaving her, and I thought I could wait. We talked of going out: Where would he take me? What would I wear?
It was new. It was nice.
And then I came home and looked at myself in the mirror.
~Molly Jo~
I am nobody’s Other Woman. I never have been, and I never will be.
And so to him, and to anyone else who wants to know me enough to date me, here it is:
You don’t get me.
In this household, I live by example. I show my daughter what’s acceptable and what’s not. I live out my ministry in my world by trying to be the person I want to be for others. And I don’t want anyone to think it’s okay to cheat. To cut corners. To not care about the ones you’re supposed to care about. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, sometimes, I do get bouts of loneliness. But these rewards are worth more than a fleeting dinner or a stolen kiss.
So you don’t get me.
In this household, we do deep. We do real. We do honest. And we do love.
Not the way you want it – not the fast, replacement, lonely-filler kind of love that you think you have to offer. Not the selfish its-all-about-my-needs-and-I’m-tired kind of love that you’re demonstrating.
We do love-your-neighbor love. We do get-in-the-trash-if-that’s-where-the-treasure-is love. We do the hard crying when words fail. We do the laughing so hard people think we’re crazy. We do the public hugs and the private conversations and the dinner at the table and the leave-me-alone times.
We do it all.
And you know nothing of that.
Because you’ve never asked. Because you saw a single woman and called her “beautiful” and expected me to open up to you.
You so don’t get me.
I’m so much more than a conversation in a store or a cross around my neck. I am complicated and sweet and smart and confident. I live for God and I live for other people. I love coffee and Italy and Disneyland and cats and everything there possibly is to love about life. And I love people who can’t love themselves. I share stories and I hold things in. I am oxymoronic every day. I am strong and secure and scared and shy all at once.
But I know who I am. I love me the way I am. I love sharing my life with people. I want to feed the world and save the homeless and cure cancer and shout everything from the highest mountain and be still under the stars.
I want much out of life. But I don’t want you. I don’t know you.
Except you’re willing to compromise. You’re willing to rush into something you have no business rushing into, and people will get hurt in your wake.
I will not be one of them. Nor will I be the cause for one of them.
So you don’t get me.
Because I’m not that lonely.
And all I can say now is, I hope someday, you’re not that lonely either.
I may be rough, but I’m still a diamond!
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
Who I Am
Nail Polish: If You’re a Guy, You Just Don’t Get It
“As Long As You Love Me”
Jan 8, 2014 |
I discovered something about myself a few weeks ago.
Halfway between Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that went with it, I decided to do what I haven’t done for a very long time.
I cranked up the radio and I sang along. Loudly.
It. Felt. Great.
There’s something about belting out a strong ballad or headbanging to a heavy bass that really makes me feel better. It’s soothing, aerobic, invigorating, inspirational, magical.
For me, singing is better than dancing or driving or exercise. And I love doing all those things! (Okay, not so much the exercise thingy.) It goes along with those things, sure. But singing is now second on my list of Ways to Feel Better. And isn’t this my year of being better? Of course it is!
So I’m singing my way through 2014.
When I began singing again a few weeks ago I was in my car. I used to crank it up and sing so loud! I haven’t done that in forever. I just listened. No more! I’ve decided to start participating again. To get my voice out there. Even if it’s just for me in my car or in my kitchen.
I began singing my recipes instead of just reading them. I have my alarm set to wake up to a song, not a beep.
Something wonderful happens when people sing.
The world stops. For just a moment. The world stops, and listens, and the singer smiles.
And people feel better.
There is no greater language than music.
And so today, I added a few more songs to My Soundtrack.
- Unwritten (Natasha Bedingfield). I love the lyrics: we’re all a blank page. It’s up to us to decide what others read from our lives.
- What the World Needs Now (Jackie DeShannon). I love this version from the soundtrack of My Best Friend’s Wedding. I also love the song. I believe the greatest thing in the world is love, and true love is incredibly powerful.
- Woman in Love (Barbra Streisand). I’ve always loved the Bee Gees. Even in the in-between time from when they were awesome to when they weren’t to when they were again. I have always loved the Bee Gees. The album, Guilty, written for Streisand, is a treasure trove of wonderful music. This is a great song to belt out.
- I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing (The New Seekers). Okay, now who isn’t thinking of a Coke commercial right now, am I right? If I could give the world anything, it would be the ability to write it out and sing it out. Both are beautiful forms of communication.
Now I’m scouring my music collection for some rockin’ tunes as well. Maybe I’ll even through in another country hit. Johnny Cash, anyone?
I’m singing my way through 2014.
What music are you singing along with?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Jan 7, 2014 |
It’s official: the end of the winter Holidays is here.
Tonight I put away my treasured Nutcracker Village.
It’s nice to have my coffee table back in use as a magazine rack, fishbowl stand and, well, a coffee table.
The cats are happy their platform bed is available again.
And while it’s nice to not have to lean too far to the left or right to see Dot on the other side of the room, I miss my Nutcrackers.
Baker Nutcracker
King Wenceslas
I’ll take the tree down tomorrow.
Christmas Tree
I’m sad to see the season go. Once the hustle-bustle-busyness of Christmas came and went, I finally found myself enjoying the lights and music and Christmas Spirit.
And now it’s over.
I guess it’s time to finish the Spring cleaning I started last year.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Jan 6, 2014 |
Dear Disneyland,
Hello. Have you missed us? Because we miss you. We’d like to think our absence has been noticed, and not that we’ve been replaced.
It’s costly to come see you, but that’s our goal this year. Once the economy settles and our personal finances allow, we hope to once again stop under your famed arch.
Disneyland Arch
To my family – that is, just Dot and myself – Disneyland is so much more than a place to visit. It’s like coming home. There’s a feeling, an atmosphere, an aroma that captures us once we churn through the gate and get our hands stamped. I always have to stop for just a moment. I have to regain my heartbeat and catch my breath. And without a conscious thought, any stress I brought in with me is magically removed. I forget to think about work or chores or outside drama. I find myself smiling like a child: carefree and in awe.
We’ve been lucky enough in the past to spend family vacations within your Resort. We’ve also possessed Annual Passes. But that seems a lifetime ago, before the woes of the world snuck in and changed things.
We never lose hope that this is the year we’ll climb back on top and once again be able to be in your presence.
Because you are Magical.
The Three Fairies
And no matter how often we visit, there is always a mix of the familiar with the new. We never fail to ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. To Dot’s dismay, this is one of only two roller coasters that I’ll enjoy. (The other being Gadget’s Go Coaster).
Of course, we have to eat at both the French Market in New Orleans Square, and Rancho del Zocalo in Frontierland. One good meal a day is all we need to supplement the endless supply of snackbars and popcorn stands. We appreciate the healthy fruit choices, too. A cold bottle of water and a juicy orange really keeps us satisfied.
And the Character Dining? Seriously?! How awesome are you to have thought that one up! Food and fun for all, all at once? You make it so easy to play with our food, especially the Mickey-shaped waffles at breakfast!
Dessert Platter at Disneyland’s Ariel’s Grotto
We’ve experienced Goofy’s Kitchen, Plaza Inn, and Ariel’s Grotto. I’m desperate for the Storyteller’s Cafe. I’m saving that experience for the Dream Vacation (more on that later!).
Disneyland is the place we can bring Grandma for a leisurely day filled with glorious singing birds in the Tiki Room and majestic history at Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln.
Painting in Disneyland’s Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln
Disneyland is where we go to meet up with friends for special occasions. Or, just because we can.
The Pirate Pose
You make it possible.
Disneyland is inspirational. The story of Walt Disney encourages me daily.
Walt’s Bench at Disneyland
Walt’s Bench
Disney Dream
When I think I can’t write or get published, I think of Disney. And I know anything is possible. And when I hear “no” I keep trying. Because Walt did. And Disneyland does.
You’re so much more than a park.
You are one of the reasons I love Carousels. It’s never ridiculous for adults to find as much joy and amazement as the little children do while riding their steeds on King Arthur’s Carousel.
Fantasyland, Tomorrowland, Mickey’s Toontown, Adventureland, Critter Country, Frontierland… but my favorite is Main Street, U.S.A. It’s where the journey begins. It’s where all roads lead to Mickey.
The Man and The Mouse
And let’s not forget about Disney’s California Adventure right across the walkway. So many wonderfully magical moments await us there. A Bug’s Land is kid-sized but a place for people of all ages. California Soarin’ is a ride that scared This scared-of-heights Girl with it’s hang-gliding sensations so intense that I can’t wait to go back for another thrill.
Downtown Disney is another experience unto itself. The World of Disney, Marceline’s Confectionery and Disney Vault 23 are just a few of our favorite stores. When Dot was younger Build-a-bear was a must-do on our list (Don’t tell anyone this, but since I’m a teddy bear collector, for me it still is!).
Oh, yes, Disneyland. We miss you very much!
You’ve surprised us with chance encounters. That time I scheduled a trip and you called to let me know it coincided with the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean. How we were in the right place at the right time to get a hello from Orlando Bloom and a wink from Johnny Depp.
Premiere of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
And when we stayed with you that time when just down the street, one of my favorite authors was doing a book signing!
Stephen Cannell & I
Yes, Disney. You’ve truly been there for us.
I almost forgot one of the best parts: The Grand Californian Hotel & Spa. This is where Dot and I last vacationed, back in 2010. Knowing it would most likely be our last family vacation for quite a while, we opted to splurge. No longer a young child, Dot was looking for something a bit more sophisticated. The Grand Californian offered us not only the exquisite relaxation we needed, but the Disney experience we craved. I even created my bedroom in homage to that wonderful weekend!
Mini-suite at the Disneyland Grand Californian Hotel & Spa
My Disney-inspired Bedroom
We miss you, Disneyland. We miss you like a best friend and like a home-cooked meal after a hard day. We miss you like our cheerleader and confidante and a welcome hug.
We miss your coffee and your rides and your behind-the-scenes tours and your up-front-and-personal characters. We miss every ounce of you.
You’ve seen us through difficult times and great accomplishments. You’ve encouraged us to keep trying, and celebrated our successes. When we feel a bit let down or left out, you never disappoint.
And that is why, Dear Disneyland, we are striving to find our way back to you.
At the Wishing Well
Saying Goodbye
Wait for us.
Sincerely,
Molly Jo & Dot
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
My Day at Disneyland
Real Disney Characters
Following Fabian
My Last Disney Day
My Soundtrack: The Year of the MoJo
Do you admire someone else? A friend, relative, mentor, teacher, coworker, neighbor? What is it about them that you admire? Is it possible for you to reflect even one of their qualities to get you on your path?
