We all do it. Some do it better than most.
That would be me.
I articulate things you haven’t even considered. I am the expert when it comes to Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome.
No. I won’t give you specific examples. How could you even ask such a thing? Why add fuel to the fire, that should be my motto.
I don’t intentionally do it. I just seem to have a low threshold filter when it comes to words. Don’t believe me? Ply me with coffee and cookies and get me talking. About anything. Anything. I can mumble my own monologue with a finesse not yet witnessed by others. The Guardian has flown the coup. I can crash right through those roadblocks with ease.
You know those dreams people talk about when you’re standing naked in front of a room full of people? Never had it. Nope. Not me. I dream about not being quiet. I’ve had nightmares of nonstop gibbering in the most ridiculous of places: telling my life story to the Grocery Store Clerk. Being brutally honest when someone asks, “How are you?”
But wait… there’s more!
I’m the person who, when I ask “How are you?” jumps ahead to the requisite “That’s nice” before hearing your response. Until you’re brutally honest with your answer and I realize I wasn’t paying attention.
Stutter Central: How may I offend you today?
I don’t mean to do it. I really don’t. The majority of the time, I’m a very good listener. But “majority of the time” is so not the same as “all of the time”. Trust me on this one. And with this new “honesty” onset for the Blog, my thoughts spill out of my head more often than they used to.
I’m afraid for you… very afraid.
Can I be insulting? Do birds fly? Am I glad for the ability to edit? Like gold attracts a Leprechaun!
The written word is my friend. The spoken word, notsomuch.
Which may be just one of the reasons I’m such a prolific writer.
You’ll thank me for it later.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Hmmm, and here my recurring dreams involve gathering around a bonfire in a vast cavern with dragons, knights, trolls, and assorted beasties… and all of us singing Take Me Out To The Ballgame.