Aug 19, 2012 |
[This post is one of my Ten Bible Verses I Try to Live By]
Psalm 37:4 is one of my favorites. The NIV version reads
“Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you
the desires of your heart.”
I often feel this verse is misinterpreted.
It doesn’t tell us that once we devote ourselves to God He will bless us abundantly with those things on our wish list. He’s not Santa, waiting to mark us on the “Good” List; or withhold from us when we make mistakes.
Rather, it’s when we find ourselves lost in Him that we lose our sense of self-need, and He places in us those desires that benefit us and the world around us.
It’s not a sin to want a nice house, food on the table, or even a phone call from a friend. It’s not wrong to choose a fashionable outfit over basic denim. It’s the reason for choosing these, for making these our focus, that’s at the core of this verse.
God is not a genie in a bottle: waiting for us to ask just so He can grant us three wishes. What He does is something greater. He puts in our heart the proper desires.
When we are focused on the Lord, the little things come into perspective. Sure, life isn’t always a bowl of cherries. But knowing that my heart is in the right place helps me sleep at night.
Without Him in my heart, in my life; those desires could be meaningless. They could give way to other, less fulfilling desires.
I’m thankful for my desires to write. Cook. Tend to my house and household. Earn a living. Give back. Be somebody. Stand up. Serve Him.
And I’m thankful for the family and friends He continues to surround me with. Because my biggest desire is to love and be loved.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Jun 15, 2012 |
I haven’t been able to focus on writing this week. Instead I’ve been literally waiting for the phone to ring. Holding my breath every time the mail truck drives up, and exhaling every time there’s no letter of rejection.
I’m still waiting to hear if I’m getting the job I applied for two months ago. It’s one of those hurry-up-and-wait situations that’s pretty much driving me crazy.
Every day that I don’t hear means I’m still unemployed.
Every day that I don’t hear gives me the chance to keep praying.
This Job would be perfect for me.
This Job is local.
This Job’s schedule is regular Monday through Friday. No required weekends. No late evenings or early mornings.
This Job starts at a good wage, with regular reviews and increases.
This Job offers stability, longevity, permanence, and room for advancement.
This Job has health, vision, and dental benefits.
This Job has a retirement package.
This Job is in a professional yet friendly atmosphere.
This Job‘s duties include working with computers, numbers, and people. All things I love and am great at.
For all these reasons and more, I am praying for This Job.
Throughout this very stressful waiting period, this very dramatic roller coaster ride, I’ve been reminded of the very specific prayers I said when looking for a house.
It should be fully fenced. Landscaped. Attached garage. Indoor laundry room. Quiet neighborhood. Safe neighborhood. Nice, friendly neighbors. Close to my mom’s. Central to the area. Affordable. Like my mom’s house, but one I could make my own. Not too much of a fixer-upper, but needing my special touch.
And that’s exactly what I got. A beautiful house that we’ve turned into a home. The floor plan is exactly like my mom’s, but reversed. So it’s her house, but it’s mine. It’s lovingly decorated. It’s well-kept. And every day brings something new: a new plant, a flower in the dirt yard, a stray cat saying hi… It will never be finished. But it’s my house. It’s Our Home. And it’s everything I prayed for. Specifically and boldly.
I know so many of our family and friends are praying for us, crossing fingers and toes and legs and sending out great thoughts and wishes for This Job… I am so abundantly thankful. And so abundantly blessed. I may not be financially well-off at this moment, but I am overflowing with what matters. It’s impossible for me to express my gratitude, my peace and joy and heartfelt affection for all of you.
And I choose to believe that these specific and bold prayers for This Job will be answered just as specifically and boldly.
Because that’s how My God works.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Jun 6, 2012
June is my Exodus. I’m making it so. Months ago during prayer, I felt God telling me to hold on until June. Things will get better in June.
The last year, the last month have been the proverbial one thing after another and now that it’s June, it’s time to put on a new hat and a new attitude… and get outta Dodge!
Change doesn’t have to be dramatic or traumatic. It can come simply by looking in a different direction. Seeing the shadows dance on the wall instead of hiding in the corner. Watching the leaves blow in the breeze instead of counting the ones already fallen to the ground. Making pies out of mud and reclaiming that childhood wonderment when the world wasn’t any larger than the backyard.
But even with change, some things stay the same. Like the love I have for my family. And the love we have from our Head of Household. Even in these very difficult times, God has been with us, loving us, caring for us, comforting us.
And He will continue to Lead us.
EXODUS
[originally written June 14, 1999]
Stay where you are, here with me
Leave the dirt behind
Don’t you know who I am?
I am the God of your Fathers,
I am the God of You.
I know your troubles, I’ve seen your pain
But your destiny is greater
I am bringing you to a better place
Just put your trust in me
I’ve been with you so far, so far
Will I not stay until the end?
I am the God of your Future
I am the God of You.
I am the Wonderful Everything
I send my angels before
Leave behind what is behind
Look on to me ahead
Don’t you know who you are?
I have chosen you, My people
Let me be the God of you.
I want to be the God of you.
I am the God of you.
You may also be interested in reading Filigree Frosting.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
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May 18, 2012 |
[This post is one of my Ten Bible Verses I Try to Live By]
I recently completed my list of Ten Bible Verses I Try to Live By. The first on that list is what I consider to be my “life verse”: the one I cling to and claim as God’s word spoken directly to me.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD.
“Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.
Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Many years ago, when I was uncertain and very afraid of life, in the course of one week three people came up to me and said, “God wants you to know…” and spoke this verse to me. Sure, you say. It’s a common, popular verse when friends see you struggling and want to give you something to hold on to. That may be… except two of these three people had never met me.
One was a good friend. One was the mother of an acquaintance. And one was a stranger at church.
Needless to say, God got my attention. And I listened. And continue to do so to this day. Because He has never failed me.
Recently I found myself focusing on the verse in a different way. For a while I’ve been reciting it as a memory verse, calling out words like “hope” and “prosper” without much deep consideration. I felt God calling me to go deeper, and to tell you about it.
The verse itself is comprised of 29 words. Which makes it easier to remember that the verse is 29:11.
Word by word, I dissected the verse. I came up with a list of what it Is, and compared it with a list of what it Is Not.
Jeremiah 29:11
If we were to pay attention to how the enemy wants us to see ourselves in God’s design, he might try to tell us something else; something like this:
“Because some random stranger had a general idea that never included you,” whispers satan and the world at large, “Maybe you should think about choosing between your meager existence and what to do about it. You can’t make it any better. You’ll never be able to earn your position or any rewards. You’re not good enough. You’ve been forgotten and discarded, and there is no hope for you at all.”
But the TRUTH about what God is saying to you is this:
“Hey, YOU! Pay attention! The Almighty Abba, Your Daddy-God, is absolutely sure and confident about the detailed, specific blueprints He has designed for YOU! The Almighty Abba has publicly announced this Declaration in His Kingdom. He has directed His resources in YOUR favor, including guards to stop YOU from being attacked and wounded. He has also decreed that YOU be gifted with giddy anticipation as you wait for even better things to come and accompany YOU for ALL your upcoming days!”
I don’t know about you, but I choose to believe my Dad, not some liar. After all, Father Knows Best. Right?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
May 11, 2012 |
Some of you know I went away last weekend. I don’t go away that often so when I do, I try to make the most of it. My church is one of the larger churches in Southern California. It’s not a mega-church. But it’s big. And I love it.
I’ve been there since Dot was six months old. We took a brief hiatus when she was dating the son of the Pastor of another church, but ours still felt like home so we came back.
I’ve learned a lot through my church. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some wonderful, beautifully helpful, supportive people. I’ve also met some who aren’t all, or even any, of those things. I’ve been both at times.
One thing that has remained consistent is the instruction to pray.
- Pray without ceasing [1 Thesssalonians 5:17]
- Pray boldly and specifically [Hebrews 4:16]
- Pray for others [Acts 13:3]
- Pray for your enemies [Matthew 5:44]
- Pray with thanksgiving [Colossians 1:3]
- When you don’t know how or what to pray, ask the Spirit to pray for you [Romans 8:26]
For years, I’ve turned my “To Do” list over to Christ. After all, He’s the husband to the widow and the father to the fatherless. He’s the Head of My Household. So when something needs doing, I put it on The List and pray about it, and try my best to not stress over it.
I knew in January that I wanted ~ needed ~ to get to Retreat. I also knew, on paper, it was impossible. So I didn’t bother to put it on The List. I mentioned that I’d like to go. But I don’t think I actually prayed about it. Until ten days before the Retreat.
I was at church for a bible study when I decided to go talk to the secretary for Women’s Ministries. Who just so happens to be the mother of my writing partner… not that I was hoping she could pull any strings to get me there, but if she tried… well I wasn’t going to stop her.
So. Ten days before the Retreat and I finally decide to ask about it. I have no money for such a thing. And they’re all booked up anyway. But we agreed it didn’t cost anything but a few minutes of time to fill out the registration form and so I did. She said I was Number 47 on the Waiting List.
And I said, quite boldly (shocking myself as well!), “Well, then. We just need to pray that one person cancels and 46 others decide they have something better to do that weekend.”
And less than 48 hours before the Retreat, that’s exactly what happened!
I got the call on Wednesday night that there was not only a spot available, but the person who canceled wanted to gift her reservation to someone else. And I fit the bill. The next day and a half were a whirlwind as I pushed myself to finish my own To-Do List before leaving for the weekend. It was also the weekend of Dot’s school play which thankfully was also performed on Thursday so I got to enjoy her dressed up as a western maid and speaking with a twangy accent. [You haven’t heard anything ’til you’ve heard Dot say “y’all”… this white girl can’t do an accent to save her life. It was really quite… cute.]
I wanted to clean the house so Dot could enjoy her weekend of freedom as well. I went to the grocery store to get her some decent snackage. I had to do laundry and pack and make sure any important notes were written… it was a very busy less-than-two days.
And then I was at Retreat and holding my breath for the Big Whammy that I knew would come. I mean, it had to. After the way I so boldly prayed and God so directly answered. There had to be a Big Whammy of a lesson… right?!
Friday night came and went. It was wonderful. Our guest speaker was Cindi McMenamin, an author and national speaker. She wrote and spoke in a way that caught my attention from the get-go, and I’m going to write a blog post on her [WITH A BOOK GIVEAWAY!] in the next few days, so stay tuned for that.
But as amazing, informative, thought-provoking and compelling as Friday was, I didn’t feel that Big Whammy. Sure, I was getting spiritually fed. But there wasn’t that a-ha! moment that made me know this is why God brought me here.
There were joyous women, women in crises, women wanting to talk, women isolating themselves. And I was… just there. I had no great crises [thank you, Lord!]. I didn’t feel I needed to take the spotlight, and I was more than happy to sit back with my friends and listen to them and be there for them. One of my roommates and I realized we’d known each other for years peripherally, and now we are very close. Funny how 48 hours can do that.
But still… I had a twinge of being forgotten. Unfulfilled.
Saturday came and went. I called home a few times. Dot said she was doing just fine. The cats were fine. And when the smoke detector let her know it wanted its battery changed, she didn’t have a freak-out. I was very proud of her. And I missed her terribly, and asked if she wanted me home early.
Please say yes! I thought. I need an excuse to leave. This isn’t what I thought it would be. I miss my home. Tell me you need me to come home!
But she didn’t. And so I stayed, somehow deep inside, knowing I was still waiting for something that would happen. Wouldn’t it? Or would it?
And that was my a-ha! moment. That was my Big Whammy. That maybe there didn’t need to be a Big Whammy. That maybe I was at Retreat just because I had asked to go, and God said yes. Maybe I didn’t need a Big Whammy to understand that I’m where I’m supposed to be. Maybe it had nothing to do with the Retreat at all, but just God showing me that He does indeed hear my prayers. And He pays attention to them. And He answers them. One way or another.
In that moment, I felt a peace and joy soothe me. I physically exhaled and dropped the tension from my shoulders. And yet I stood a little taller.
God took me on a mini-vacation. For no other reason than He wanted to spend some quality time with me. How cool is that?!
God answers our prayers. Boldly, significantly, and specifically. He also sometimes refuses to answer our prayers. Most of the time we can figure out His reasons in retrospect, but sometimes we can’t. And I’m okay with that.
Because one thing I keep learning over and over, is that He is God and I am Not. He does love me. And He does love to shower His attentions upon me and my family. And when I screw up, He takes me back. When I try to run away, He corrals me right back up.
Sunday morning, I went to the last session before we packed it up and returned home. I was content with knowing that I wouldn’t get a Big Whammy. No big a-ha! moment. Those realizations themselves were the Big Whammy and a-ha! moment. I expected nothing more than to enjoy time with my women friends and our God.
And that was why He brought me to Women’s Retreat. Because it’s not always about the big things. Sometimes, most of the time, it’s about keeping Him in the little things as well. It’s about trusting that even those quiet, silent moments are worth more than you know.
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But after that, something beautiful happened. There I was, standing with all these lovely, wonderful women. My writing partner is singing with her mom up front. My friends are right next to me. And I was content. Content to Just Be. Just be there. Just be me. Just be in the moment. And not look for a deeper meaning or greater significance.
And that’s when God reminded me I’m a writer. And I had to tell this story ~ His story. Now that’s a pretty Big Whammy.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
