Apr 28, 2012 |
It’s been about two months since I’ve posted any Lessons Learned. You would think in that amount of time I would have amassed a whole lotta learnin’. You would think.
I don’t think I learned a lot, so much as I kept re-learning the same things in different ways.
Although some things are new.
Ready? Here’s what’s been in my brain lately:
1. Black-headed grosbeaks look very similar to Baltimore Orioles.
2. Grosbeaks, among other birds, like to eat dry cereal like Cheerios and Rice Krispies.
3. Writing is something I do best when I do it for myself.
4. Having said that, it’s awful nice when other people appreciate my writing.
5. When I was away in college 20 years ago, my mom sent me a stickee pad with Old Maxine on them. They said, “You didn’t know how you’d get through yesterday, either, but here you are.” That’s been my unconscious motto for a while now.
6. Music is awesome. It’s one of the greatest languages ever written.
7. Family Game Night is the craziest, funnest night of the month!
8. Sweet Broom plants are gorgeous! And attract bees. Bonus!
9. Some people will always be friends. No matter the time, distance, and drama that happens in your individual lives. Some people can be in your life every day and never be a true friend.
10. Cats don’t like thunderstorms. Cats like people who keep them safe from thunderstorms.
11. Hardcover books are better than digital books.
12. But digital books have their perks.
13. Flashpoint is still the best show on TV, and best community on Facebook.
14. CBS was really stupid when they didn’t renew Flashpoint last summer. ION was really smart to pick it up as their first first-run series, meaning they no longer air only reruns.
15. It’s a rule of nature that as my daughter gets older, so do I. Yet while she’s ready to graduate high school, I’m not ready to let her go out into the world. It’s a very scary place out there. And I’m her mommy. I just want to keep her safe and happy. And in my arms.
16. I love cooking. And I’m not too bad at baking. Wilton has the greatest cake molds for such things!
17. If I wasn’t a writer, I’d be a party planner. But I’m a writer. And I like that better.
18. Starbucks is great. Friends who get how important Starbucks is, are priceless.
19. Sometimes the world isn’t fair. And it stinks.
20. Sometimes God isn’t fair. And I’m so very thankful.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Apr 21, 2012
A few years ago I wrote a little prose called “He loves me. He loves me not.” Ever since then, I’ve had the idea to compile some of my writings, poems and prose, into a collection that explains my relationship with God and Christ.
It’s not meant to be preachy. Not meant to be One Size Fits All. Just my story, and the story of my Walk with God. The peaks and valleys, the sunlight and the shadows. It’s going to be full of emotion, honesty, and even denial.
One of my brothers has graciously given me permission to use photos he’s taken of desert wildlife to enhance the book, add visual drama to the pages. For this, I am incredibly grateful. So imagine, just imagine my giggly joy when I woke up this morning to find an email link to those photos.
I. Am. So. Happy!
Here are just a few of the great photos that he took, that I’ll be featuring in the book:
So far, the one I love the most is the one I call Desert Beauty:
Aren’t they great? I’m thankful to have these visual cues to help me format what I’ve already written. It makes my prose so much better, don’t you think?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Mar 21, 2012
There are three of you I love like my own (well, one of you is). Each of you has enriched my life in ways you may never know. I’m blessed to be your mother, your friend, your partner in crime (or atleast, in writing about them).
I’m honored that you love me in return. That you share with me your families, your hopes, your dreams, your sorrows. We have goals. We have memories. We have fun. We work well together.
And there are times, oh so many times, that I pray for you. How I want to be a good example for you but I know sometimes I fail. Sometimes I’m immature and selfish. Sometimes I can’t give as much as I should, and sometimes I want it to be all about me.
But then I hear you’re hurting, and all I can do is cry for you, for your heartaches. And this is where I step up to the plate and offer what I have to give you: experience and (hopefully) wisdom.
In some way, each of you is suffering a broken heart. Maybe not completely; and not in the same way. Your hurts are yours. Your sorrows are individual, personal, and private. In real life, you put on a secure mask and you go through the automated functions of daily living. But something inside feels broken, damaged, or just out of sorts.
That’s okay. It’s okay to feel confused, and sad, and angry. It’s okay to wonder if your dreams will ever be reality.
But please … don’t live there. Don’t live in a fantasy land; holding out for something that might not happen, waiting for the Knight in Shining Armor to come rescue you. It’s okay to rescue yourself. It’s okay to be your own person. It’s okay to be You.
It’s okay to send yourself flowers to brighten your day. It’s okay to be disappointed and it’s okay to change your mind about what you thought you wanted in life. It’s okay to still want what you want, but don’t stop there. Don’t let the shadows throw you over. Don’t let the roadblocks stop you. Don’t dream so high that you lose sight of reality and forget to live.
There are many paths, many directions. And just because one isn’t working out the way you thought/hoped/planned… you can still get there. You can take a detour. You can take another path.
Just don’t stop.
Don’t stop believing that you’re worth everything. Everything. You’re worth attention. You’re worth flowers. You’re worth hugs and conversations and coffee dates and smiles and … everything that makes you, You.
You’re worth knowing. And sharing. And loving. And growing. And being.
And if I could make your life perfect, I would. But I’m not magical. I’m just me. I’ve been where you are. You may not think so. You may think you’re alone. You may think I’m just an Old Maid who hasn’t a clue. But you’re wrong. That’s okay, too.
Because whether you believe me or not, I’ve been there. And I’m still here.
For you.
Because I love you abundantly.
And no matter what, no matter what, YOU are worth knowing. Just as you are. But I also know you’re still growing. And I really look forward to knowing the person you’re going to be.
I love you with a Mother’s Love. A Friend’s Fierceness. A passionate, loyal, do-anything, protective, Godly love. I love you. Abundantly. No matter what.
And I always will.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Mar 8, 2012
I went job hunting last Thursday and Friday. Usually I only manage to go out once a week, if at that, but I always check online everywhere: Craigslist, classified ads/Monster, county, court, company website… that list goes on and on.
I was taken aback last week when I found not one, not two, but three advertised job openings. Around here, nobody advertises because there’s so many people looking for work that their office would get inundated. Our unemployment level is one of the highest in the nation. So seeing three jobs advertised for applications, that says a lot. That tells me that the economy is getting better. That people aren’t afraid of putting money into ads or time into interviews.
The really exciting turn of events came when I applied for an office position at one of the local hospitals. Turns out I’m qualified for three, possibly four, positions that are currently open! How exciting is that?! And when I asked for other leads, they referred me to the employment service they sometimes use.
So I went to the staffing agency and dropped a resume there as well. Guess what: they loved my resume and will contact me this coming week. Looks like they might have an opportunity or two for me.
That makes me happy. I rediscovered that I actually having a day-work routine. I like getting up, in the shower, and dressed up before I drive Dot to school, instead of just tumbling into jeans and a sweatshirt. I like wearing nice clothes and meeting people and just getting out.
Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty at home to keep me busy. But I also have distractions. I’m looking forward to a paycheck while waiting for New Inklings Press to start paying off.
In the meantime, I’m still doing menu planning which is really turning into a fun thing. I’m working on freelance projects as well as the next book for my company. I’m taking care of those once-a-year cleaning matters. And I love having extra time with Dot.
I know there’s been a reason for me to be unemployed this long; and I really believe it was so I could get all my ducks in a row with regards to my writing career: what to write, how to write, how to schedule, set up my tiny office-in-a-box, and start my company.
But now that those are done, I’ve no doubt that God will now provide the income we so desperately need. And how amazing is it that after eight months of no offers whatsoever, there are six or more opportunities in the last three days. That says it all.
In the words of my favorite Pastor, “It’s time to work.” And I wholeheartedly agree.
Colossians 3:23, 24 [NIV] “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Feb 6, 2012 |
A few days ago I mentioned that I rejected a freelance writing opportunity.
While I know it was the right thing to do, I was disappointed. Disappointed with the lack of finances (and my need for more!), disappointed with a failed opportunity, disappointed with so much.
While endeavoring to be a paid writer I’ve also been trying to find a day job to pay the bills. That hasn’t offered much hope either.
So. I admit that God and I had a bit of a talk. Actually, it was more of a child kicking and screaming to get attention from the adult. Without actually throwing a temper tantrum, I admit that my heart really wanted to. I prattled off all my worries and concerns and the reasons I’m not sleeping as well as I used to and don’t forget the recurring knee injury and what is up with this cold weather and wind and by the way do you think just once I could win the lottery? Or at least a few decent writing assignments? Is that really too much to ask?
I learned a few things that day.
*First: It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad and discouraged. It is not okay to wallow or lose hope. But it’s totally okay be tired and cry it out.
*Second: Crying can be good. Admitting your disappointments out loud can be cathartic. Telling your worries to your mother over a tear-stained coffee cup can even lead to some unintentionally humorous conversations.
*Third: God loves me and will take care of me no matter what. Even when He doesn’t give me what I want, He gives me what I need and protects me from what I deserve. What I think I need is not what I really need. And that thought terrifies me because I don’t like the unknown. But if all I know is God will take care of me, and my family, then that’s what I have to go on.
*Fourth: Proverbs 22:1 (NIV): “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” I could sell my writings almost anywhere. I could write the kind of stories that would sell big, but in doing so I would compromise my style, my faith, and my name. I could write for people who don’t care about quality. I could write, and get paid. But I’d rather keep my Good Name. Because in doing so, I’m trusting God for the rest. (See Bullet Three above).
I kept praying for direction answers my will to be accomplished. Until I realized this is the first of many rejection notices I’ll receive. I just happen to be the one doing the rejection this time. And I’m okay with that.
I’m a firm believer that when God closes one door, He opens another.
The same day I rejected this freelance opportunity, another one came my way. One that will be mutually beneficial to myself and the business I’m writing for. One that leaves me no doubt that God had this lined up before I even thought of rejecting the first one.
And then of course I felt pretty foolish for having stomped my feet and threw my fists in the air (no, not literally!). But it’s a good thing to know that God loves me know matter what. It’s an even better thing to know He knows what’s really in my heart.
Psalm 50:15 (NIV): ” and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor me.”
Yeah. I’m keeping my Good Name. Because it comes from My Father. And after all, Father Knows Best.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
2. Grosbeaks, among other birds, like to eat dry cereal like Cheerios and Rice Krispies.
9. Some people will always be friends. No matter the time, distance, and drama that happens in your individual lives. Some people can be in your life every day and never be a true friend.
14. CBS was really stupid when they didn’t renew Flashpoint last summer. ION was really smart to pick it up as their first first-run series, meaning they no longer air only reruns.
16. I love cooking. And I’m not too bad at baking. Wilton has the greatest cake molds for such things!
19. Sometimes the world isn’t fair. And it stinks.
