The holiday season can bring families together, feelings of holiday cheer, and more stress than you can shake a stick at.
It’s also a season of “How do I possibly do this?” and “How can we manage that?”
Finding that perfect gift for someone isn’t always an option when the price tag is higher than your ceiling.
Here are few ideas for giving without going broke:
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday
Give the gift of time. Spend a few hours chatting over coffee. Catch up with an old friend. Drive over to your brother’s house. Take a loved one to dinner. Turn off your phone and outside distractions, and just be with each other. Rediscover the commonalities you have, and learn how you’ve changed.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday: Gifts That Don’t Cost
Give the gift of service. How often do we say, “I wish there were more hours in a day?” What we mean is, “I can’t possibly do everything on the list, all the time.” Helping someone with household cleaning, running errands for them, or driving them to appointments is a great gift. Companionship while conquering a To Do List is a double gift!
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday: Gifts That Don’t Cost
Give the gift of encouragement. We all need to be emboldened. Tell your peeps what you admire about them, and watch them soar. Keep telling them, and they’ll soar even higher.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday: Gifts That Don’t Cost
Give the gift of creativity. We’re all good at something. Some are woodworkers, some excel in the kitchen. Others are writers, painters, quilters. Each of us has a talent that is meant to be shared with others. Create a homemade gift, or spend time creating/crafting with others and helping them discover what they’re good at!
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday: Gifts That Don’t Cost
Give the gift of asking. To truly bless others, we need to know what they want or need. Pay attention. Develop deeper conversations. When they say “A”, don’t misinterpret it as “B”. Understand that understanding is deeper than just talk. Formulate questions that lead you to their answer, and be creative with your solution.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Things Friday: Gifts That Don’t Cost
Was one of your New Year’s resolutions to save more money? Yeah. It ranks up there with
Eat healthy
Exercise more
Improve life
It’s hard, though, isn’t it?
You know what? You’re not alone. When I started sharing about my bad credit experiences, I was overwhelmed with supportive and encouraging comments. So many of you were or are in the same boat, and didn’t know it.
We think we’re alone and headed for a comedy of errors like Gilligan’s Island.
To Sea in a Storm by Yourself? It ain’t so.
But the truth is, while our individual situations are unique, we have the opportunity to throw life rafts to each other just with words of encouragement and “been there, done that” talk.
There’s a lot in life that can make us feel bad about ourselves. Keeping up with the Joneses is, in my opinion, one of the worst. Which Jones are we talking about? The one who’s a family friend or the one who lives on the other side of town, you know, the right side of the tracks?
When I have money troubles, everything else is amplified. I can’t buy medicine because I can’t afford the doctor visit in order to get the prescription. Or I feel guilty for munching at McDonald’s but in reality I was hungry and didn’t have time to get to the store on my lunch hour. The phone rings constantly, but it’s almost always “Call from Unavailable.”
It wears a person down, doesn’t it? And when you’re worn down, you can’t always see the solution, if there is one.
Cloud of Negativity
Recently, I made a self-discovery. I told myself, “I’m tired of worrying.” Sure, easier said than done, and yes I do still have those moments.
But I started smiling more and stressing less. I gave myself permission to not feel guilty over the occasional fast food. It was okay if I bought one song on iTunes for $1.29. But then I stop. Then I’ve reached my limit and treat myself to an emotional allowance rather than a financial one.
Spending time with friends, watching a favorite DVD or even just reading a good book is often all it takes to regenerate my broken spirit.
Money isn’t everything.
And then there was the realization of several truths.
You are not alone. I know, I’ve hit on this before. But it’s worth hammering again and again. I am not alone. You are not alone. Believe it or not, people will understand when you say, “I just can’t go out this weekend.” It’s okay to say no to some extras. It’s also okay to say yes.
Patience really is a virtue. Debt collectors are often willing to work around your payment schedule as long as you communicate with them. You can’t expect them to stop calling if you don’t explain your situation. For all they think, you’re a deadbeat. But you’re not. You hear me?
YOU ARE NOT A DEADBEAT.
There are so many things to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head. I have transportation. I’ve never gone a day without food. If you’re reading this, you have internet access. Whether it’s a public library, school, or at home, that’s a blessing.
Being frugal can allow for creativity. It can be simple home decor, clothing options, or cooking a meal. Saving pennies can mean celebrating the lean times. Sure, it’s corny like a country song, but trust me. It works. It’s what led me to write and publish The Unemployment Cookbook. That’s a sweet success in my book!
One of the first things you can do when the money situation gets you down, is tell yourself it’s okay. It’s okay to know it’s there, but it’s also okay to say “I won’t let my lack of money define me.” It’s okay to choose to breathe.
Have dialogue with yourself and your family. Ask the hard questions:
Is this necessary, or a just a social “requirement”?
Is there a cheaper alternative?
If not, what else can we do to afford this?
Then it’s time to be honest with the creditors:
Explain your situation and be honest about how you got there.
Ask for repayment options. If you can’t pay their “minimum” do they have an extended payment plan?
Can they give you a reduced pay-off balance?
If you absolutely can’t pay, be honest. Don’t commit to a payment you can’t make. And don’t get angry at them about it. Those calls you’re getting? They’re just doing their job.
Then stop. Take another breath. And tell yourself, “It’s going to be okay.” Even if you don’t know how. Trust that it will work out. You can be strict without being overbearing. You can be in a financial struggle and still enjoy your day-to-day life.
Choose Your Direction: Stress or Relax
It’s okay to drink of cup of hot (or sweet) tea. It’s okay to buy clothes at the thrift store and make them your own. It’s okay to walk somewhere, or buy a $0.99 box of mac-n-cheese instead of a $7.00 combo meal.
You have a choice. Even when the money situation isn’t getting any better, you have the choice to not let it define you.
Remember, it’s just a situation. It’s not a lifestyle.
Embrace the happy and you’ll see how rich you truly are.
You know me, right? You know when I usually put up a title it has a different or double meaning. So when you read “bad credit” I’m sure you’re thinking, She can’t really mean ‘bad credit’. It must be some trick word usage like ‘bad’ as in ‘sick’ or ‘awesome’ and ‘credit’ like those things that roll at the end of a movie. That’s it. This Girl saw an awesome movie and she’s gonna tell us all about it.
So, while that’s a fantastic interpretation of how my mind works at times, and maybe in the future I’ll use it as such, this post really is about just that: bad credit.
Here’s the not-so-secret secret. I have struggled with debt and bad credit for the better part of the last twenty-five years. Why am I telling you this? Because I recently discovered something awesome:
I am not alone.
For a really long time ~ and by really, I mean really ~ I felt like I was. And it wasn’t until I started to share my story with people outside my family that the fog of shame and self-imposed stigma started to lift.
I felt ugly. I was having screaming matches with the people who love me and who have, for the better part of these years, helped me in some form or another. My self-worth tanked every time the phone identified “Call from Unavailable.” I was jealous when Facebook told me how others ate out and went to movies. Here I was trying to decide between cat food, a gallon of milk, or a little more gas in the car.
Sure, things weren’t always horrific. I had good seasons that included Disneyland passes, trips to the bookstore, and last year’s writing conferences. Every payday I allowed myself a McDonald’s meal and a Starbucks. But those sparkling gems were few and far between.
Most of the time, I was waking up with anxiety. I’m not saying I grew anxious as the day went on. I’m saying, I woke up that way. I would go through bouts of not being able to drink coffee or eat breakfast because my stomach was in tumbles. I unplugged the phone at home just to get some peace and quiet. I was feeling sick, tired, worn out.
I WAS DONE.
There has to be a way out, right? Or was I destined to always feel like this? Do I attract debt? The answer is yes. And no. There were quite a few circumstances out of my control that contributed to my building debt. And there are habits that keep me there.
Unemployment, medical bills from several ~ and by several, I mean twelve ~ car accidents (never my fault, thank you for your concern), and the loss of child support when Dot turned eighteen. All these led steadily to the demise of what I like to call, my free money.
As much as I tightened the belt, I was just in over my head, upside down, sideways, and very, very shaken.
The triggering event was a radio commercial for debt relief. I was amazed at how they knew just what my situation was and how a quick loan would help me immediately.
Is This Thing On?
For about eight seconds I thought of calling. Then I jumped off that horse and put the phone down.
I mean, can you imagine what the interest rate must be on a quick loan with no credit check? [Hint: Way more than I could ever pay back.] And if there’s no credit check, what do they use for collateral? Employment verification, I think. Maybe a vehicle. Well, I certainly wouldn’t want them calling my boss if I was ten minutes late on a payment. Or taking my awesome little putt-putt away. Let’s face it: I’m already late on payments. Shifting debt from one source to another doesn’t alleviate the problem. It just shifts it. That’s why this commercial got my attention.
And then something else got my attention. The realization that I wasn’t the only one who had heard that commercial. I don’t live in a metropolis, and a lot of people don’t listen to the radio. But even so, if just a fraction of the population heard that commercial and thought of calling, how many others must feel there’s no way out from under the debt storm?
You know the old saying. When it rains, it pours. We usually say that when negative things happen. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could pay attention to the storm of sunshine when it comes? What if, instead of hiding under dark umbrellas, they were fun, bright little things sticking out of our drinks in paradise? Or, turned upside down, and we could use them to collect pennies from heaven?
Every time it rains, it rains pennies from Heaven.
My plan is to share with you in future posts how I am overcoming my debt. I’ll be transparent about what works and doesn’t work for me. No, you don’t get to see my financials. That part is none of your business, but thanks for asking.
I’m also not a debt collector, licensed life coach, credit counselor or financial adviser. So here’s the disclaimer part: Any post relating to getting out of debt or managing money is strictly my personal experience and observances. I share them to let others know
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I share them to give hope. There’s power in the knowledge that even though it looks like things are getting darker, there’s always some form of light.
There’s still a lighthouse.
Here’s the thing: It does get better. I promise. You can learn different habits, discover hidden treasures, use what you didn’t know were assets.
The Unemployment Cookbook is the blessed result of needing to feed my small family with a small amount of groceries. Little did I know at the time I started creating these changeable recipes that it would start me on the road to self-publishing and turn into a constant seller.
The Unemployment Cookbook, Second Edition
I hope you start to count the sunrises each day, and find lots of pennies on your journey to paying down your debt.
I didn’t mean for this post to be just a teaser, but it’s already pretty long so the next part will have to wait.
I’d love to read comments and questions from you:
Are you struggling with debt?
Do you have any advice that can help others?
What are your thoughts on money?
And if you feel that your debt is going to swallow you whole, if it is consuming the lifeblood from you, please please please talk to someone. It’s okay to be in debt. Nearly everyone is, one way or another. It’s how you treat it, how you take care of it, that matters.
But know this:
Not being able to pay your debts does not make you a failure. It takes a hundred pennies to make a dollar. Start slow. Don’t expect miracles. Your debt didn’t happen overnight. Neither will the solution. Stay the course. And fill that jar.
My Penny Jar
You’ll get there.
Finally, because I thing the world needs more upside down umbrellas and happy songs, I leave you with some snazzy tap dancing. Enjoy.
This is one of Dot’s favorite recipes. I remember the first time I put this together. That was the moment I first thought of putting together my recipes for The Unemployment Cookbook. So you know this is very special to me.
Slow Cooker Pork & ‘Kraut
Living in a tiny apartment, working a part-time substitute job at the school district, I knew after a full day of work, school, and errands for the both of us, Dot and I would be hungry the moment we walked back in the door.
I quickly layered Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup (undiluted), two pork chops, and a bit of sauerkraut in my slow cooker. I repeated the layers, then turned the slow cooker on low.
Eight hours later we came home with a few fresh rolls and a head of lettuce for salad, and dinner was ready!
These days, I like to change up the recipe a bit depending on our schedule and whether or not we’re also feeding company.
With the first weekend of January already upon us, and I’ve yet to take down the Christmas decor, it was a no-brainer to make a larger amount than usual.
For less than $20 I bought all the ingredients I’d need.
Slow Cooker Pork and ‘Kraut. Twenty dollars. Five ingredients. Eight hours. Ten dinners.
I layered each ingredient, then repeated the steps three times. Because there was more than I usually prepare at one time, we had to let it cook longer. (This worked out well since Dot came home announcing her best friend was in town and wanted to go to dinner!)
Pork & ‘Kraut layers
After an overnight cooking, Dot and I woke up to a wonderful smelling kitchen! We now have enough of this filling, flavorful dinner for Saturday, Sunday, Monday lunch and Monday dinner. Anything left after that can go into individual freezer containers for lunches later this month.
This is a great recipe that can easily be altered to suit your family’s size and taste. We’ve substituted chicken breasts and cream of chicken soup. Omitted the sauerkraut. Added a can of diced mushrooms for more flavor. There’s no wrong way to fix this delicious, hearty slow cooker meal!
And when you don’t have a lot of time, money, or kitchen space, what’s a better way to show your people you love them by providing a hearty, healthy, delicious home-cooked meal?
On the heels of yesterday’s Penny Parable post, I’m excited.
I’m excited because, first, I found two pennies yesterday morning in a place they previously weren’t: a side pocket in my bag. I know they weren’t there, because I use this bag all the time. But yesterday morning, after posting The Penny Parable, there they were. Later, I found another penny when we finished our shopping at Target (I was successful in not buying needless things, either! Points for This Girl!).
I’m working on frugal craft and recipe ideas for the July newsletter, which will be emailed on the first so y’all have time to see if there’s anything you want for your Fourth of July table. I recently purchased a cell phone camera mount and tripod so I can venture into the world of making better videos. Let’s face it, you don’t need the camera shaking just because I can’t stand still, right? [If you haven’t subscribed to the monthly email newsletter yet, click here. It’s full of great, exclusive content that always include Faith, Family, Food and Fun!]
And my Writing Partner is soon on her way to adventure. Big adventure. The kind of adventure that, if she were anyone else, I’d be spittin’-nails-jealous. But since it’s her, and I know I’ll live vicariously through her, all I can say is, Happy Travels, Megan. And come back very soon. With dragons and jewels.
I received a really great email yesterday morning: The Unemployment Cookbook, Second Edition, has been forwarded to the Judges Panel for the Writer’s Digest 21st Annual Self-Published Competition. Now I wait until October to see if I won.
Wish Me Luck!
So all these things have been going on. And I haven’t really promoted my newest Kickstarter project. Which is where you come in. I really need help getting the word out. This time around, I’m offering both the First and Second Editions, and a set of both. Easy orders. Easy shipping.
But as you surmised by this post’s title, the funding isn’t where I need it to be. My goal is small, quite reachable, but only if people know about it.
Will you help get the word out? The photo at the bottom of this post will lead you to the Kickstarter campaign where you can read all about it including Project Updates and FAQs. There’s also this link to my Q&A post on the Blog which, hopefully, clarifies everything.
Feel free to share this post through any and every social media site you have. Tell your family. Your friends. Your neighbors. Your trash collector. Your People’s people. Just please help me get the word out!
If you have any questions or ideas, leave them in a comment for me.
Tweet this: Not being able to pay your debts does not make you a failure. #badcredit #credit #debt #countyourpennies @realmojo68
