Aug 28, 2017 |
by Molly Jo Realy @RealMojo68
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Five Easy Ways to Help Texas
- Text HARVEY to 90999 to give $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief for Hurricane Harvey victims.
- Search your social media contacts for people in need and offer food and shelter.
- If you’re in the area, volunteer at hospitals, shelters and pet care facilities. If you’re not in the area, donate.
- Organize drives for food, clothing, and emergency funds.
- Give blood.
“I will answer them before they even call to me.
While they are still talking about their needs,
I will go ahead and answer their prayers!”
~Isaiah 65:24 NLT
TWEET THIS: Five Easy Ways to Help Texas @RealMojo68 #HurricaneHarvey #houstonflood
With a sad heart but hope in people,
~Molly Jo
And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!
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Oct 18, 2015 |
At the beginning of the month, I posted about my experience with bad credit. I expected mixed results but the response was overwhelmingly favorable, and many of you thanked me for my transparency.
Truth be told, I didn’t share everything. Let’s face it: finances are a really private matter. I mean, it’s not like any of us are going to put our bank books on public display, right?
Open Wallet
And why would you? Your life dynamics are just as personal as your wallet. Are you hearing me?
Every situation is different.
So why do the credit companies treat us all the same?
The reasons for my bad credit aren’t the same as yours or your mailman’s brother’s cousin’s dog’s groomer. That’s okay. Neither are the solutions.
Let’s recap, shall we?
- I am not a credit expert. I am not, have never been, and have no plans to be: A professional debt collector, credit counselor, financial adviser, or life coach.
- I have experienced unemployment, car accidents, medical bills, single parenting, and poverty.
- I did not crawl into a corner and stay there. Okay. Yes. I did crawl in. It was ugly. But I didn’t ~ repeat, I did not ~ stay there.
I am slowly and surely finding my way out of my debt and bad credit situation, and as vulnerable as that makes me feel, I’m here to share [parts of] my story with you.
Today’s theme is Communicate.
Use your words, people!
That’s it. Use your words, people! But here’s the thing: Are you putting emphasis on the right word? If I say, “Use your words, people!” what do you hear? Me telling you just to talk. But if I say, “Use your words, people!” it changes, doesn’t it? Now it’s about you and your words. About expressing your situation.
This gem of advice was given to me a few years ago but it wasn’t until this year that I realized the power behind it. And it happened by mistake. Or grand design. I’m not sure which.
One particular evening I was ignoring the many Caller Unknown phone calls. In a moment of silence, I reached to make a call of my own, but as things happen, I picked up a call just as it came in. You know the feeling. Do you hang up? Stay quiet so they hang up? What? What? WHAT??
Being the conscientious authentic tired person that I was, I took the call. It was one of my credit card companies. I know. I’m late. Again. Still. My favorite part (not!) is when they ask, “What is the reason for the delinquency?” I really want to rant. Rave. Rebel. Instead, on this call, I politely said, “You know, you asked me that last month and the answer hasn’t changed. I simply don’t make enough money any more.”
So you know what they did? They laughed. They turned me over to a debt collector. They offered to work with me on an income-based payment plan.
Tired Girl say what??
That WAS easy!
We took a few minutes to review some information. How much do I make? How big is my family? And then, those magic words: We can work with you.
I was so excited, I answered the next call. And the next. Soon, I had arrangements made for several bills. You know what? The phone stopped ringing as much. The nasty-grams slowed down. And the bills are getting paid.
No, it’s not easy. And it’s not simple. I have to make sure I’m on top of my budget and there are times when I can’t make even the minimal payment so I get to swallow my pride, pick up the phone, and ask for more help. But I do it, because it’s worth it.
I don’t want to default or file bankruptcy. I want to pay my own debts. And when I own up to my financial mess, when I let others know the what’s and why’s and how’s of my situation, they’re more willing to work with me.
These posts started the day after I took another call to try to reduce a bill. In my mind, I had created a monster of debt, and I was ashamed and certain that I should just do a George Bailey and jump off the nearest bridge. Instead, I talked to the woman on the other end of the phone.
In the end, I was in tears.
I explained my situation, again. But this was a new company. This debt was transferred to a new collections department. How humiliating.
Except it wasn’t. Because she spoke to me like I was human, an individual. Not like a number or statistic or deadbeat. She valued me.
We all have value.
And then she said something I’ll not forget.
“You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. But I’ve been in your situation. I have. And I’m going to tell you, hang in there. Okay? It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.”
And that’s why I cried. Because I allowed myself the vulnerability of showing my human-ness to a stranger, and she gave it back to me.
There was no condemnation, no threats, no hardlining. Just a person, talking to a person, working things out.
So I’m here to tell you
It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.
Here’s a few simple tips to help you recover your finances:
- Answer the phone.
- Talk to people.
- Be honest about your situation, what you can (and can’t) afford.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- Try. Try again.
- If the person isn’t willing to work with you, talk to a supervisor. It won’t always help, but most of the time, it will.
- Follow up. If you make a promise to pay, pay. If you say you’ll call back, call back. They like it when you’re truthful.
What else can I tell you? You have value. I believe in you. And you know what?
It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Communication is Key. @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #communication
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Every situation is different. @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #overcoming
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Use your words, people! @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #overcoming
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
Dec 28, 2012 |
It’s the last Friday of the month, and the year.
I’ve had my Resolutions in place for over a week now.
A writing schedule. A work schedule. A home schedule.
A food budget. A recipe budget. A home budget. An emergency budget.
I have a plan. I plan… to plan.
Since July, 2011 I sort of flew by the seat of my pants. Until I started working again.
Without child support and only 35 hours a week, my income isn’t that great. But it’s mine. And I’m doing the best I can.
I have never wanted to go on Welfare. I’m frustrated with the stigma that causes. I understand the system isn’t perfect, but nothing ever is. I don’t like the perception that “everyone” on welfare is lazy or taking advantage of others. There is no shame in finding help when it’s vital to existence. But I refuse to burden society with my debts. I’ve always managed to pay my bills… late, past due, those fees add up. But at least I’m the one paying them. And someday soon, it will get better.
We’re going to tighten the belt even more around here. Now that the holiday specials are over, I’m suspending my TV subscription for a few months. That money will go toward paying off the smallest bill in January. So in February, I can take the TV money and the smallest bill money, and put that toward the next smallest bill. After another month, that’s two bills paid off.
If the Fiscal Cliff isn’t as horrid as we’re being scared into thinking, my tax refund should help pay off a few more small debts.
My goal, God willing and the Creek Don’t Rise, is to be nearly debt-free by the end of 2013. The only remaining debts should by my mortgage, car, and student loans.
That’s the plan.
I don’t know how realistic it is. If anything changes, I don’t know how I’ll handle it.
I received four books for Christmas. Dot gave me a wonderful edition of JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit. It includes maps, has a leather cover, and is pocket size. It’s perfect! The other three are from my brother. Three books on better blogging. There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to read! (Another reason the TV won’t be missed.)
I’m making a menu plan for January. That’s a separate post. I was gifted with a $100 gift card for Christmas, and I intend to use it strictly for my food budget. I want to see how long it will last if I plan ahead. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a few snacks. I’m choosing foods that will go a long way: one box of Malt-o-Meal is two weeks’ breakfast for us. My Slow Cooker Ratatouille will feed us for days as a hot dish, pizza topping, and in my Baked Frittata.
I’m going to cut out fast food eating, too. That means no Starbucks in January, and I can’t begin to tell you how I feel about that. I’m only six drinks shy of keeping my Gold Card Status, too. Well, my tastebuds won’t thank me, but my wallet will!
And then there’s the writing. Oh, the writing! Recipes. Dragons. And everything in between. I miss posting daily links at BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo, but I don’t miss my trite, nonsensical postings. With the Cookbook Campaign, the Series with Megan, the Study on the Ten Commandments, and a few other starter projects, my writing plate is overflowing with goodies!
And today is Friday. The last Friday of the month and year. But really… it’s just the Beginning.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Dec 7, 2012 |
When I wrote my first TGIF post, I hadn’t planned on making it a staple of this Blog. But sometimes a person just stumbles upon what works.
That first post was soul-baring. This one, notsomuch. This one, I really am just thankful.
Today I get my second paycheck. I find it ironic that my first post let you in on my life of poverty; and here it is a few weeks later and I’m praising the payday. It’s not a lot. It won’t replace the missing child support. But it’s enough. I’ll make it enough. And that’s all I need.
Sometimes I get frustrated, having just “enough”. Sometimes I’d like to be more than “ok”. But I’ll take what I can get, and give Thanks for it. I’ve been teasing my coworker when he leaves for lunch that he’s not allowed to come back unless he brings the winning Lottery ticket with him. This week, our Boss overheard and asked if it was a big jackpot this week. I laughed and said, “I have absolutely no idea.” We agreed that any extra money is more than what we have now so why not grab it?
Sometimes I feel like I’m back on that Merry-Go-Round. Going nowhere except high and low. Up and down and chasing my tail in circles.
Not this time. This time I’m reaching for the Brass Ring. And you know what? If my little pony can’t get me there, it’s time to change strides. Time to change horses. Time to do whatever it takes to be a winner.
The first step is to acknowledge there are steps. Success isn’t All-or-Nothing. It’s a journey. And it starts here. Now. With me. It starts.
That’s how I feel today. This paycheck is the start of Something Good. The planets seem to be aligning for me and Dot, and it’s been a long time coming. I have a job. My Kickstarter campaign is off to a good start. Oh, and let’s not forget it’s holiday time.
So. In the infamous words of my favorite TV show theme… I’m gonna make it after all.
Mary Tyler Moore Wanna-Be
and My Photo Bombing Dot
Indeed.
I have a lot to be thankful for today.
How ’bout you?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
TGIF
TGIF, Part II
TGIF, Part III
You’re Gonna Make It After All
Nov 18, 2012 |
This last month has shown me so much. I’ve seen seen how to make ends meet when I didn’t think I could. I’ve learned how to cook rice in ways I didn’t know possible. I’ve managed to keep writing every day, even when I didn’t think I had anything to write about. And I’ve realized you want me to be honest.
For a few weeks, I’ve been finding that honesty. It’s led me to expose parts of my life that I hadn’t let too many see. And your outpouring has been so wonderful, so uplifting. Thank you.
Thank you.
My day job is going well. I’d forgotten more about the job than I realized. In the time I’ve been out of the industry, procedures have changed. My new office runs differently than the last. So ten days after my first day, and I’m still on the “learning curve”. My Boss is patient. Informative. Helpful.
I’m thankful.
I know my posts of late have been stricken with words like “poverty” mixed with “hope”. I’m not beating a dead horse nor riding romantically off into the sunset. Rather, I’m in between those two dynamics; I’m living life daily making choices that I intend to lead to a better 2013.
I don’t have the winning lottery ticket. No magic wand. It will take time to reach the quick goals. But it’s do-able. I can still write. Publish. Market. Earn. Work.
How wonderfully exciting the future seems to me right now. How intimidating and thrilling and workable.
Emily Dickinson said it best:
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all …
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
