The Emotional Cost of Bad Credit

Feb 25, 2016 | 1 comment

Was one of your New Year’s resolutions to save more money? Yeah. It ranks up there with

  • Eat healthy
  • Exercise more
  • Improve life

It’s hard, though, isn’t it?

You know what? You’re not alone. When I started sharing about my bad credit experiences, I was overwhelmed with supportive and encouraging comments. So many of you were or are in the same boat, and didn’t know it.

We think we’re alone and headed for a comedy of errors like Gilligan’s Island.

To Sea in a Storm by Yourself? It ain't so.

To Sea in a Storm by Yourself? It ain’t so.

But the truth is, while our individual situations are unique, we have the opportunity to throw life rafts to each other just with words of encouragement and “been there, done that” talk.

There’s a lot in life that can make us feel bad about ourselves. Keeping up with the Joneses is, in my opinion, one of the worst. Which Jones are we talking about? The one who’s a family friend or the one who lives on the other side of town, you know, the right side of the tracks?

When I have money troubles, everything else is amplified. I can’t buy medicine because I can’t afford the doctor visit in order to get the prescription. Or I feel guilty for munching at McDonald’s but in reality I was hungry and didn’t have time to get to the store on my lunch hour. The phone rings constantly, but it’s almost always “Call from Unavailable.”

It wears a person down, doesn’t it? And when you’re worn down, you can’t always see the solution, if there is one.

Cloud of Negativity

Cloud of Negativity

Recently, I made a self-discovery. I told myself, “I’m tired of worrying.” Sure, easier said than done, and yes I do still have those moments.

But I started smiling more and stressing less. I gave myself permission to not feel guilty over the occasional fast food. It was okay if I bought one song on iTunes for $1.29. But then I stop. Then I’ve reached my limit and treat myself to an emotional allowance rather than a financial one.

Spending time with friends, watching a favorite DVD or even just reading a good book is often all it takes to regenerate my broken spirit.

Money isn’t everything.

And then there was the realization of several truths.

  • You are not alone. I know, I’ve hit on this before. But it’s worth hammering again and again. I am not alone. You are not alone. Believe it or not, people will understand when you say, “I just can’t go out this weekend.” It’s okay to say no to some extras. It’s also okay to say yes.
  • Patience really is a virtue. Debt collectors are often willing to work around your payment schedule as long as you communicate with them. You can’t expect them to stop calling if you don’t explain your situation. For all they think, you’re a deadbeat. But you’re not. You hear me?

YOU ARE NOT A DEADBEAT.

  • There are so many things to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head. I have transportation. I’ve never gone a day without food. If you’re reading this, you have internet access. Whether it’s a public library, school, or at home, that’s a blessing.
  • Being frugal can allow for creativity. It can be simple home decor, clothing options, or cooking a meal. Saving pennies can mean celebrating the lean times. Sure, it’s corny like a country song, but trust me. It works. It’s what led me to write and publish The Unemployment Cookbook. That’s a sweet success in my book!

One of the first things you can do when the money situation gets you down, is tell yourself it’s okay. It’s okay to know it’s there, but it’s also okay to say “I won’t let my lack of money define me.” It’s okay to choose to breathe.

Have dialogue with yourself and your family. Ask the hard questions:

  • Is this necessary, or a just a social “requirement”?
  • Is there a cheaper alternative?
  • If not, what else can we do to afford this?

Then it’s time to be honest with the creditors:

  • Explain your situation and be honest about how you got there.
  • Ask for repayment options. If you can’t pay their “minimum” do they have an extended payment plan?
  • Can they give you a reduced pay-off balance?
  • If you absolutely can’t pay, be honest. Don’t commit to a payment you can’t make. And don’t get angry at them about it. Those calls you’re getting? They’re just doing their job.

Then stop. Take another breath. And tell yourself, “It’s going to be okay.” Even if you don’t know how. Trust that it will work out. You can be strict without being overbearing. You can be in a financial struggle and still enjoy your day-to-day life.

Choose Your Direction: Stress or Relax

Choose Your Direction: Stress or Relax

It’s okay to drink of cup of hot (or sweet) tea. It’s okay to buy clothes at the thrift store and make them your own. It’s okay to walk somewhere, or buy a $0.99 box of mac-n-cheese instead of a $7.00 combo meal.

You have a choice. Even when the money situation isn’t getting any better, you have the choice to not let it define you.

Remember, it’s just a situation. It’s not a lifestyle.

Embrace the happy and you’ll see how rich you truly are.

And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!

Sweeten my tea and share:

Going Bananas

Nov 15, 2011 | 3 comments

For several nights now, I can’t sleep. Now and then, I suffer a round of RLS ~ Restless Leg Syndrome. It’s usually dormant for months at a time, but when it flares up, I lose a lot of sleep. Each night. For several nights in a row.

Triggers can very by episode. Stress. Too much salt in my dinner. Exhaustion. Not enough daily exercise. Lack of vitamins and minerals. Inability to stretch out due to three out of five cats thinking the bed belongs to them.

In the past, whenever it affected me, it only lasted a day or two. I’d walk more around the office. Lower my salty snacks. Drink lots of water to flush out my system. Kick the cats. I’d be fine after about 48 hours.

Not this time. This time, I’ve crawled out of bed after midnight five nights in a row. I’ve walked around the house. I’ve soaked my legs with a hot washcloth. I drank warm(ish) milk. I took baby aspirin. I rubbed my limbs with isopropyl. Nothing seems to work.

So this time, I’m looking for something else. Something short of a chainsaw that will put me out of my misery. Because

i.am.going.crazy.

Loopy. Off my rocker. Irrational, emotional, having a nutty. Due to lack of sleep, I am unable to fully function, think clearly, or enjoy the day. In other words

i.am.going.bananas.

I want to sleep all day, but I can’t. So I wait til nightfall. And I can’t. I want to have enough energy to do stuff. But I don’t. So I just sit. And write. And drink water and hot tea. And try to walk around the house and yard. But in the cold rain, that’s not my favorite cure.

So I decided to find a new, better solution. To go big. I picked up the phone. And called the one person I know who has always had the perfect cures for everything.

I called my Mommy.

My mom is the Go-To Gal for all things healthy. She’s been telling me for years about the Golden Fruit. My daughter loves them. I’ve kept them around the house almost always. So I don’t understand why it took me so long to really embrace the banana.

It’s not that I’m opposed to them. I actually like them. I just don’t buy them that much. They’re not always in season, so that’s one thing. I mean, who wants to eat brown bananas all the time.

I used to eat the fresh ones, then let the rest turn a little more and make banana nut bread. Yummm! Especially when it’s warmed up. And coated with butter. Real, creamy, melty butter.

Again, I say: Yummm!

And it hit me.

The solution to all things.

When life (and body) stresses out: Go Bananas!

It’s like a dusty book that just got pulled off the shelf. Or an old favorite sweater that was packed away. It’s a visit from an old friend that leaves you thinking, “Why don’t we keep in touch all the time?” It’s a hug from a really good friend.

So here I am, back from the health food store where I bought bananas. Some for eating. Some for baking. All for me (Okay, a few for my daughter).

Because I relax when I’m in my kitchen (like that’s news to anyone!). And bananas are full of great things like potassium and iron that will stop the RLS. And so-o-o much better than chemical drugs. No, I’m not a nature freak; I don’t burn incense to cleanse the air. But I have chemical allergies: those “healthy” fixes actually do more harm to my body than good. I’m the only person I know who’s been hospitalized (four times!) for taking an allergy pill! So, you get why the banana is so much better for me than the drug store.

Plus, there’s the added bonus of the banana being so versatile. I mean, what can you do with a pill except swallow it? Bananas, though… ahh, bananas.

Raw. Fried. Dehydrated.
Baked into bread.
Blended into smoothies.
Frozen and dipped.
And right now, steeping in a pitcher of cold water along with cut up apples and raspberries for my very own infused water.

Can you do all that with a pill? (*Note the sarcasm. If there is such a pill, I don’t want to know about it…)

So. After almost a week of RLS-induced insomnia, I can quite happily announce

I am going bananas! And I think I rather like it.

Sweeten my tea and share: