Jan 7, 2013 |
It’s funny how sometimes I get an idea for a post but am not always sure how to write it out clearly. When those moments happen, I often write a note and keep it nearby on my writing table. Or I just let it shift around in my head, mixing with other words and experiences until, like a snowball rolling downhill, it picks up the momentum it needs from its surroundings and ends up larger than life.
This is that sort of post. For nearly a week, I’ve been struck with how often the World around us asks, “How are you?” But it wasn’t until today that someone really stopped to hear my answer.
We are so often prepared for the “I’m fine,” that when we ask the question we don’t expect an honest answer. And because it’s never expected, we never answer when it’s asked of us.
It’s a standard conversation.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine; thanks for asking.”
But how often is it authentic?
There are so many people who have so much to say. Who just need someone to talk to, to listen. What a person portrays on the outside is rarely what’s going on on the inside.
Wouldn’t it be marvelous if every time someone asked you, “How are you?” they really wanted to know? And if you offered the trite response, they’d push just a little to let you know they’re sincere?
My friend Wendy did just that for me today. Certainly, I hint about life’s downside here on the Blog. But I don’t really let you go there: into that Room where I keep my deep dark scarred secrets, the parts of me that cry out in fear and loneliness and anger and confusion.
I would love to scream it into my keyboard. But that’s not really me. And it does a disservice to expose myself in such a way. Discretion is always the greater part of valor, but that doesn’t mean we should lock ourselves away from the World, or hide or true selves from it. Still, it’s hard to open up about the real stuff. Even when others express their care.
Unfortunately, there’s a time and a place for everything, and we’re taught at an early age that the standard Q&A is, only, “How are you?” and “I’m fine.” The End.
Societal boundaries tell us crying in public isn’t always welcome. But neither is jumping for joy. We’re subdued into letting those critical moments pass us by: those moments that can make the difference between saying, “I’m fine,” and meaning, “I’m fine!”
I’ve chosen to stretch those boundaries. I choose to look someone in the eye, and wait for the answer. Just like Wendy, who looks. And waits. And asks again. “How are you, really?” with no presumption over a pat or trite answer. She asks for truth, and expects it. And lets me get away with nothing less.
I want to be like Wendy. And so I’m asking. And waiting. And listening. I’ve found that listening to others takes my own focus off myself and gives me a different perspective.There is nothing so terrible that I can’t get through it. No joy so private it isn’t made better by telling those closest to me. And when I listen, I learn more about others. About humanity. About what makes the World Go ‘Round. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
My college roommate posted this on her Facebook wall tonight ~
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
How true is that? We think we’re unique. And we are. But problems aren’t. Struggles aren’t. Even joys and excitements aren’t.
It’s okay to share our life with those around us. As long as we let them share theirs.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
May 18, 2012 |
[This post is one of my Ten Bible Verses I Try to Live By]
I recently completed my list of Ten Bible Verses I Try to Live By. The first on that list is what I consider to be my “life verse”: the one I cling to and claim as God’s word spoken directly to me.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD.
“Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.
Plans to give you hope and a future.”
Many years ago, when I was uncertain and very afraid of life, in the course of one week three people came up to me and said, “God wants you to know…” and spoke this verse to me. Sure, you say. It’s a common, popular verse when friends see you struggling and want to give you something to hold on to. That may be… except two of these three people had never met me.
One was a good friend. One was the mother of an acquaintance. And one was a stranger at church.
Needless to say, God got my attention. And I listened. And continue to do so to this day. Because He has never failed me.
Recently I found myself focusing on the verse in a different way. For a while I’ve been reciting it as a memory verse, calling out words like “hope” and “prosper” without much deep consideration. I felt God calling me to go deeper, and to tell you about it.
The verse itself is comprised of 29 words. Which makes it easier to remember that the verse is 29:11.
Word by word, I dissected the verse. I came up with a list of what it Is, and compared it with a list of what it Is Not.
Jeremiah 29:11
If we were to pay attention to how the enemy wants us to see ourselves in God’s design, he might try to tell us something else; something like this:
“Because some random stranger had a general idea that never included you,” whispers satan and the world at large, “Maybe you should think about choosing between your meager existence and what to do about it. You can’t make it any better. You’ll never be able to earn your position or any rewards. You’re not good enough. You’ve been forgotten and discarded, and there is no hope for you at all.”
But the TRUTH about what God is saying to you is this:
“Hey, YOU! Pay attention! The Almighty Abba, Your Daddy-God, is absolutely sure and confident about the detailed, specific blueprints He has designed for YOU! The Almighty Abba has publicly announced this Declaration in His Kingdom. He has directed His resources in YOUR favor, including guards to stop YOU from being attacked and wounded. He has also decreed that YOU be gifted with giddy anticipation as you wait for even better things to come and accompany YOU for ALL your upcoming days!”
I don’t know about you, but I choose to believe my Dad, not some liar. After all, Father Knows Best. Right?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Sep 14, 2011
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
In honor of Disney’s re-release of it’s 32nd animated film “The Lion King” this Friday, I found this writing I did in February, 2009. Enjoy!
*** *** ***
“Rise and shine, and give God the glory, glory…” (Old children’s song)
I looked up “Glory” in Vine’s Concise Dictionary. This is just a sampling of the offering: Glory, Beauty, Ornament, Distinction, Adornment, a Crown of Glory (rank), Improper Pride, High Status, Speaking Honor to Someone… Wait. Go back. Improper Pride? That seems so out of sync with the others.
What exactly does that mean? “Improper” denotes something that is inappropriate, inaccurate, doesn’t belong in the setting, doesn’t apply to the situation at hand. “Pride”, on the other hand, signifies a high opinion of oneself, the feeling of being the best, splendor. It also means a group of lions.
Is it possible to get a word picture from this? Now, I’ve seen “The Lion King” far too many times. Scar was definitely improper! Simba was a young, misguided cub led astray; but we all know in the end he claimed his rightful place to carry on the leadership of his father. Could this be us?
I was once a Simba, convinced that my actions had taken me away from the love and comfort of my Family. I had let Improper Pride control my thoughts and actions, and chose instead to run from my mistakes. In the end, I had to choose to let them seek me out, to bring me back, just as Nala did for Simba. I would not go willingly, and there were some “friends” by my side who did not want to let me go. My Nala fought to bring me to the Truth. My Rafiki hit me on the head, just as in the movie, to knock some sense into me. And then I realized. I could go back. I must go back. It was my calling. My duty. My show of respect for my creator.
I called satan (Scar) out, confronting the lies he told to me and about me. It took work, a lot of work, but my Family was restored.
To this day, my heart aches with “what if’s”. What if I had forgiven them earlier? We would have more good years together. What if I had listened to God earlier? I would have learned so much quicker. What if I had forgiven myself? There’s the torture. And the blessing. Because I did forgive myself. For all things. For the hurts I caused myself. For the hurts I caused my family and friends. For the hurts I caused to those who are now reading this in love (thank you for your forgiveness!). For the hurts I caused to my Lord. And then I had to forgive myself for feeling guilty about waiting to forgive. It is a breath of fresh air when true forgiveness comes to us. The weight of anger, sin, and manipulation, is taken away. The world is new, vibrant, beautiful. It is Glorious. And just as the sun rises each morning, I must seek forgiveness each day. For each day holds new-ness. A new view. A new attitude.
Is the glass half empty or half full? Neither. Because “my cup overflows” (Psalm 23:5). Even in the presence of our enemies, God prepares a feast for you and me. He is always with us, no matter where we go, what we do, who we are. He will always place around us those who He will use to keep us close to Him, and when we stray, to bring us back to Him.
Simba was never really alone, even when he thought he was. Look for your Nala. Look for your Rafiki. Give them the blessing of being there for you. Allow them the privilege of being with you on this journey of life. And try not to go your own way. There’s safety in numbers.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.”
(Proverbs 3:5-6).
Yes, I’m a Disney fan. It goes to show that God can use anything to get His message across.
