I’m afraid of my own success. What if achieving my dreams means changing everything I know about my life?
I am my own worst enemy. I love stability of structure and I’m not one to shed the security blanket easily.
But often, blank pages hold just as much accusations as they do promise.
I play the “What If” game too often because, in the past, the “What If’s” happened. The bad ones. The oh-my-God-this-could-only-happen-to-me and the I’m-one-in-a-million-and-not-in-a-good-way ones. The I’m-being-sabotaged-and-no-one-will-stand-up-for-me ones. The life-will-never-be-the-same-again ones.
And I really love stability.
So when anything comes along that can upset the apple cart, … read the rest. . .
This week I received a wonderful comment on a Five Things Friday post from last summer. It was about poetry, but when I reread the post today, I remembered it was also about the Writer’s Club I belong to. Having someone recognize a post I wrote so long ago makes me feel better about writing and blogging and, honestly, just sharing life in general.
Taryn’s comment also inspired me to reinstate the Five Things Friday blog posts. And what theme could be better to re-kick it into gear than, well, better? My favorite word of this year, and … read the rest. . .
I said this to a friend yesterday. I was completely sincere.
He’d had a heart attack nine months ago. Without warning. I woke up one Sunday to read on Facebook, “Had a heart attack last night.” I tried to figure out what he meant. Was he referring to a fright? Did his sports team lose? It wasn’t until he posted a photo of him in the hospital bed that I realized he was serious: he’d had an actual heart attack. As we were chatting this weekend about so many things in life, I thanked him for not dying.
Another friend … read the rest. . .
As I start this, I just know it will end up on Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” Page. I’m thankful for her keeping that weekly link up open so I can spill my emotional vomit and not be the only one doing it. Misery loves company, right?
Okay, so it’s not all miserable. But it’s a lot of what I can’t, or won’t, normally write. Today’s post is about life. And death. And a few things in between.
The last week has been a mixture of endurance, sorrow, mourning, and sickness. The details don’t really matter. My Blog friend, Jenn, … read the rest. . .
It’s the last Friday of the month, and the year.
I’ve had my Resolutions in place for over a week now.
A writing schedule. A work schedule. A home schedule.
A food budget. A recipe budget. A home budget. An emergency budget.
I have a plan. I plan… to plan.
Since July, 2011 I sort of flew by the seat of my pants. Until I started working again.
Without child support and only 35 hours a week, my income isn’t that great. But it’s mine. And I’m doing the best I can.
I have never wanted to go on Welfare. … read the rest. . .