The calendar tells me it’s been nearly two months since I last blogged.
Inconceivable!
Without going into dramatic detail, suffice to say life with all its twists and turns has been a great distraction from blogging. It’s been full of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. And we’re all learning to exchange beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
The calendar also tells me the year is about two-thirds behind us. Now that’s crazy! I look back on my resolutions and I’m so happy I had just one.
BETTER! 2014
I’m proud to say I’ve continued to do what I can to make life Better for those around me, and yes, for myself. I’m not proud to say I’ve put blogging on one of the back burners. It’s one of those things that I have great aspirations for, yet lately seem to not have time. So today, I’m taking time. I’m making time. I’m blogging. And I feel better because of it.
This week’s Five Things Friday theme is Start/Stop. It’s about those things in life that we either need to step up to, or let go of, or find a happy medium to make them better.
Here’s my Five.
1. NOLA. Is that really such a surprise? I hit a very tall Writer’s Block wall over two weeks ago. Thankfully, my writing mentor, Aaron Gansky, talked me through it. Based on feedback from Aaron, The Wordsmiths (the critique group I belong to), and several other beta readers, I’m going back to the beginning. Just the beginning. The plot itself will remain nearly the same, with just a few more twists and turns than I originally mentioned. But I need a better diving board, so I’m rewriting what I have and moving on from there. [Thank you, Aaron, for pointing out that my murder mystery novel has yet to include a murder.]
The Wordsmiths Critique Group
2. My budget. I had a long talk with God about my finances and to be honest, I didn’t like what He had to say. Because He said “Trust me.” It’s scary to trust a God I can’t physically see, for money that I physically need. I’m learning to be still, to not force anything, and to communicate. I stopped going from paycheck to paycheck, and started to really use my Mead OrganizeHer Expense Tracker. No, I’m not trying to be a commercial for them. But if you were to ask me a year ago how I keep track, I wouldn’t have a clue. Now, as soon as a bill comes in, I put it in the Bills pocket. Each month has an expense list, suggestions, and blanks for me to include my own. I’m learning to call my creditors before the due date if I can’t make the full payment. And you know what? They work with me. I’m no longer afraid of my finances. And that’s a good start. I’m still praying for a way to cut down my Sycamore tree, as it’s leaching into my watering system and I found out I’m highly allergic to it. And Beckie and I are hoping to attend next year’s Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference in May. There’s a huge correlation between my prayer life and peace about my finances.
3. Who’s Beckie? She’s the Newest member of The New Inklings, the writer’s group I formed around my company, New Inklings Press. Beckie and I know each other nine ways ’til Sunday and are just now realizing how many connections we have. I met her over a year ago while promoting The Unemployment Cookbook, and she recently reached out to me for a writer’s get-together. She’s been published in magazines, completed the Institute of Children’s Literature (ICL), and inspires me to keep going when I want to quit. Because of her, I’m going to start the next lessons at ICL and finally complete the course I signed up and paid for so long ago.
4. Complicated. In May/June, I was thrilled to have met up with an old friend and we had the idea to pursue a relationship. The relationship aspect didn’t work out, but I learned a valuable lesson through it: Don’t Leave. Period. While our romantic intentions didn’t flourish, I learned better communication skills. I prefer writing, of course. He prefers speaking. Long texts and longer phone calls were the norm between us. And no matter that any long-term romance was never a really good idea between us, the friendship has remained. As has my determination to not walk away from the fundamentally most important parts of life. He and I haven’t left each other, we just left behind an improbable romance. And I’m okay with that. Because, fundamentally, he’s still here for me. And I’m still here for him. No matter what.
Don’t Leave. Period.
5. Social. At the beginning of this post, I alluded to some, shall we say, challenges in the past few months that have sapped my attentions and my strengths. Because of this, I’ve had to evaluate my social calendar and make some changes. I momentarily stepped down as Social Media Manager (SMM) for my writer’s club. Aaron hired me as his SMM for a reciprocal mentoring agreement. I’ve taken as much off my plate as I can, and I’m still paring down. I’m learning to fit dinner and socializing into the same event. I’m learning to say “no” instead of “let me try”. I’m learning to rest. I’m learning what and who the important socials are. And I’m learning to let go. It’s not my favorite thing. But it’s important.
5b. [BONUS] Social. Aaron is teaching me how to nerd it by playing Magic: The Gathering. Stay tuned for his guest post on the subject. I enjoy the complexity of strategy, the lottery-feel of opening a new pack to search for random “rares”, and that while he’s always winning at Magic, he’s also mentoring me on my writing. It’s a win-win-win situation, in my book.
5c. [DOUBLE BONUS]. Social/book. If any of you bloggers reading this are interested, Aaron is giving away five free copies of his newest book, THE BARGAIN, (either digital or audio) in exchange for a thorough/heartfelt review on your blog. Just leave a comment below and we’ll be in touch with further details.
The Bargain by Aaron D. Gansky
Well, now that I’ve started blogging again, it’s time to stop this post. It’s your turn to comment, like, link up, and otherwise share what your FIVE THINGS FRIDAY: Start/Stop items are.
This week’s Five Things Friday is all about experiences. Those moments that are more than moments. Those times that leave more than memories. This week’s post is about the whole kit-and-caboodle.
Because I write (or perhaps influencing the way I write), life is more than just passing time. I love to absorb everything about everything. I want to relive it completely: the look, the feel, the sight, the smell, the sound. I enjoy watching strangers and making up stories about them. I like discovering the nitty-gritty of what makes people tick.
And while I’m healthiest when I’m writing, there are a handful of experiences I would love to be able to write about but haven’t yet.
These are my Five Things Friday Experiences.
1. National Police Week. My good friend Danny lost his brother nearly two years ago. [Read Dear Amy, I’m Just So Sorry For Your Loss.] Pat’s wife, Amy, and their four children continue to be a strong public symbol of faith and forgiveness. This last week, Danny was a part of the Police Unity Tour. He rode nearly 300 miles on a bicycle to draw attention to our fallen officers. While much pedaling isn’t on my Bucket List, doing what I can to support police officers and their families is a big deal. I’m proud of our selfless heroes, proud of Danny, and proud of Amy for continuing to show her strengths and vulnerabilities to the world. We need all the heroes we can get, and they need our support.
2. The Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference. Conferences are a great place to make connections and share writings. Several of my friends and colleagues speak at the BRMCWC and I’m hopeful to attend next year. Between now and then, I’ll do whatever I can to raise the funds necessary to get there. I’ve yet to attend any writer’s conference, and I can think of no better way to start than by going across the country to meet up with people I know and admire.
3. Book Tour. What kind of writer would I be if I didn’t rehearse television interviews and plan my agenda years in advance? Once NOLA is a best seller (think positive!), I’ll start in New York and travel my way around the United States with stops in Michigan, North Carolina, New Orleans (of course!), Texas, Arizona and wherever else I can land.
NOLA Inspiration
This is all actually just a clever ploy to meet up with family and friends. Selling books is secondary to my wish to see all my loved ones again.
4. Last Resorts. I’m not shy about admitting that I like to taste the finer things in life. Last week I was delightfully treated to my first dining experience at Duane’s Prime Steaks & Seafood, the elegant restaurant at my most favorite place, The Mission Inn in Riverside. It was beyond my expectations. It was magical. And yes, it was worth it. I’ve stayed at the Mission Inn once and would love to do so again. The Keeper of the Inn Suite, if you please.
Peaceful Morning
There, and the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, Michigan. As a child, we would drive up to Mackinaw City each summer. Driving across the bridge was always so adventurous.
Mackinac Bridge [Photo by Danny O’Rourke; used by permission.]
The Grand Hotel is a beautifully historic location that I’ve yet to experience, but I know I will.
5. Italy. My second home will be in Italy. Tuscany. Rome. Venice. It doesn’t matter. Italy is small enough that I can easily get from one place to another in a reasonable amount of time. Until then, my house will continue to look like an Italian countryside coffeehouse.
My Favorite Coffee Mugs
There are many more experiences on my Bucket List. But these are my top five.
This week I received a wonderful comment on a Five Things Friday post from last summer. It was about poetry, but when I reread the post today, I remembered it was also about the Writer’s Club I belong to. Having someone recognize a post I wrote so long ago makes me feel better about writing and blogging and, honestly, just sharing life in general.
Taryn’s comment also inspired me to reinstate the Five Things Friday blog posts. And what theme could be better to re-kick it into gear than, well, better? My favorite word of this year, and probably for life.
Let’s get this started ~ here are my Five Things Friday: Better.
1. Writing. Y’all saw my new desk last week, right? How could my writing not be better when I have such a great place to write?
BETTER! 2014
The plan must be working. Megan and I have locked up the first three chapters of Book 1 of The Grenalia Chronicles. We can’t wait for you to read about Amara, Saven, Fisal, Delving, Yez, Berin, Amrais and Linwe. Yes, we made up those names. Invented a few creatures. And are in the midst of creating a magical fantasy filled with swords and sorcery and dragons and . . . well, you’ll just have to stay tuned. We’re also keeping a notebook of things we write that won’t be in the final draft. Someday, that notebook will be a best seller in itself. We have quite the sense of humor when we’re tired.
2. All roads lead to NOLA. I’m also working hard on my novel set in New Orleans. My characters are coming to life bigger than ever. I tasted my first beignet two weeks ago, and it was everything I thought it would be. Of course, it’s not from Cafe du Monde, but it was acceptable.
My not-from-Cafe-de-Monde Beignet
I have a goal to finish NOLA by the end of this year, sell it big, and celebrate at next year’s Mardi Gras. That would pretty much make This Girl oh-so-happy. And y’all know Harry Connick, Jr. hails from NOLA, right? Yes, indeedy. Seeing him on American Idol every week ~ twice a week, at that ~ is just another way to keep me inspired.
3. Budget. It took a lot to get here, to the point where I’m secure in my finances. Let me rephrase that: my budget stinks. But I refuse to stress over it. Yes, I still have trouble making ends meet. Yes, I’ll be in trouble if a big emergency happens. But I’m not unique. I’m not special. Everyone is hitting hard times. The best I can do is the best I can do. It’s okay to tell the creditors that I can’t pay in full this month. It’s okay to pay just $5 more than the minimum payment. It’s okay to wait until just before the due date. And it’s okay to not feel bad for not doing more. All I can do is all I can do. And as long as I’m really trying, I’m seeing those glimpses of success. And someday soon, one bill will be paid off. And then another. And then another. And it may take another few months, or another year or two before I can take another trip to Disneyland or eat a beignet at Cafe du Monde. However long it takes, I’m okay with that.
4. My Housing Project. I’m still working on my dirt lot of a yard. I’ve decided to put little effort into changing it, and more effort into cleaning up and maintaining it. Next year I can plant and plot. This year will be the pre-work work. This summer I’ll pull up old stumps, weed, rake, and do whatever else it takes on the outside. The only planting for this year has already been done. I bought two more Photinia for under the Big Window, and a dwarf Pomegranate tree.
Photinia
Dwarf Pomegranate
On the inside, we’re doing things better, too. I hung curtains in the laundry room.
Laundry Room Door with Curtains
I love it. It’s a nice soft look for the house, blocks the bright summer sun, and keeps the neighbors from glimpsing over the fence line. (Thankfully, I have decent neighbors who don’t have voyeuristic tendencies.) It’s the finishing touch to the laundry room.
5. Appreciation. It’s a little thing, but what a difference it makes! I’m trying to put forth better effort into appreciating the people already in my life, the things around me, and the experiences I’ve had. I’m more aware that my perceptions of the world outside myself isn’t necessarily the reality. I don’t know the inner struggles of someone else unless they choose to tell me. I can’t understand the physics or engineering of putting a building together. But I’m thankful for the shelter. I want to be patient with what goes into making my life mine, and I want to better express my thanks to all that is already a part of it. If I do all that I can do, I hope it’s enough. Sometimes it’s hard to put into words. Sometimes all I can say is “thank you”. But I’m definitely paying attention. And I definitely have a new appreciation for everything, and everyone.
And those are my betters for Five Things Friday. What are yours? Leave your comments or link up your own blog posts in the comments below.
Remember the CBS show NUM3ERS? That was a great show. I loved every episode. How Charlie showed his big brother Don that crimes don’t have to be solved with force. That sometimes brains are better than brawn. That while human nature is unpredictable, numbers are always reliable.
Y’all know my theory of One. It’s pretty much the best number in the world, because it’s a beginning. A start. The foundation upon which anything else is built. Because I’m not God, I can’t create something out of nothing. I need to add to what’s already there.
Yeah. I really like the number One.
This week’s Five Things Friday takes a bit of a different turn. Instead of listing tangible Things, it’s more of a this-is-what-I-think-and-feel post.
It started last week when the worlds of several friends began to crumble. A death. A divorce. A sickness. Compounded by the typical wearing-down that life can bring. We prayed with each other. For each other. We reached out, we accepted. And it’s been a great comfort. We found security in not being alone. We found Safety in Numbers.
People need people. We need to know we matter especially to those who matter to us. A “hi” here, a cup of coffee there. A friendly text or phone call. Reaching out is one of the greatest things we can do for someone else. Even if we’re hurting. Even if we’re struggling in some way (and who isn’t)?
People need people.
Reaching out takes the focus off ourselves and lets someone else know they’re not alone. Their situation is unique. They are one-of-a-kind. But they (YOU) are not alone. And reaching out bonds us together. It gives us that fortitude we need to continue.
And let’s face it… when someone reaches out to you, doesn’t it make you smile, just a little? Even if they don’t get it. Even if they can’t comprehend what you’re going through. Even when no one else knows what’s happening in your world. Doesn’t it make it better when someone comes alongside you for a bit of the journey?
So what are you waiting for? Be that person for someone else! I like asking the hard questions. “How are you, really?” “What’s honestly going on?” “Did this or that get resolved?” “What are you thinking right this moment?” I like being a person that others can trust, want to trust. I like being a person others can reach out to when they don’t think they have someone. I like being a friend.
I like being a friend.
In Matthew 18:20 Jesus tells us, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Certainly, our relationship with God is singularly individual. But it’s also communal. Just as you have a singularly individual relationship with your spouse, each child, each friend, and everyone who crosses your path. You’re One. I’m One. And together, we’re more.
Your efforts may not be returned. They may be ignored or worse, trampled upon. They’re still important. If for no reason other than you’re capable of showing compassion.
That’s my first for this Five Things Friday. To tell you how important you are.
You matter. Period.
2. Just a thought, but who’s more protected: someone with one person on her side, or the one with ten? Do you walk a dark street at night alone if you don’t have to? Do you make the tough decisions without talking to anyone else first? Would you rather send one person into battle or a hundred? I find great Safety in Numbers. Great comfort, joy, fun, and encouragement. I’m a bit of an awkward social butterfly, but I do so love going out and meeting people.
3. I enjoy cooking big. Most times, it’s just for me and Dot. But I love those once-a-week cooking moments that provide great leftovers (and fewer cleanups!). I’d rather cook four chicken breasts at once and know she has lunch ready the next day, and often, dinner as well. I’d rather make a huge pot of soup and freeze half of it for later. Less dishes, more family time. And I’m a Big Fan of the grab-and-go ease of having something already prepared for my own lunch. I’m not so big on making lunch myself each morning.
4. My friend Danny helped push me toward self-publication two years ago with this great comment:
“Would you rather write something that five million people read once, or something that five people read a million times?”
In all honesty, the latter. And so if my niche is a smaller market, I’m okay with that. Five million is a big number. And to be recognized by five million readers would be spectacular, being remembered forever by five is a big more wonderful. Sometimes there’s Safety in (Smaller) Numbers, too.
5. One is a great number. It’s the start to everything. But it’s not the conclusion. You can’t have a collection of something if you only have one. “How do you like my spoon?” or “What do you think of my stamp?” just isn’t as special as an assortment. That doesn’t mean you have to collect everything. I love Jim Shore Disney miniatures, but only certain ones. I adore coffee mugs. I stopped collecting cats after Sparkles became the fifth member of our fur family.
Sparkles
I also think it’s a bit punny that this post should be under the “Five Things Friday” umbrella. I guess there really is Safety in Numbers.
Since last weekend, I’ve been working hard on the big writings. My weekly email from Writer’s Digest had inspiration for writing a novel in 90 days. The typical novel runs approximately 70,000 words. So writing 778 words each day will get me there. I have a bigger goal of writing at least 1,000 words each day. For each of two writing projects. Yeah. I’m bit of an overachiever that way.
I’m still adding substance to the first book in The Grenalia Chronicles with Megan. But last summer I’d started a story set in New Orleans, and that’s been my adventure this week. The story drew me back in, and has been flowing out of me with an ease I’ve not experienced lately.
Don’t get me wrong; The Grenalia Chronicles isn’t difficult to write. But there’s something even easier about the NOLA story. And I find it ironic in a beyond-coincidental way, that it’s been so easy to write a big story set in The Big Easy.
It’s been so easy, in fact, that I doubted my own talent. I was nearly certain my beta readers (that is, a tiny group of family and friends) were just placating me with their accolades. Of course Mutti is still my first reader, and she nearly always has wonderful things to say. But she has to. As old as I am, she’s still the Matriarch. She’s still my Mommy. And she still boosts my ego.
Then there’s Darcy. I trust his honesty. But a casual “I really like it” is the same as someone saying “I’m fine” when you ask how they’re doing. It’s a little parochial. Being the occasionally insecure person that I am, I need substance to his reviews. And he knows it. So today, I received this fine note:
“Ok, I don’t think I like reading unfinished works. Now I have to twist and stew while I wait for more. Answers! I need answers!”
The ultimate review came from Dot’s best friend who offered to read my story as a distraction from his summer college courses.
“… this is an incredible start to a story. I really did enjoy it… a very good tale of someone trying to find themselves in a city big enough where no one cares… I like it… Your writing is conversational, and it makes everything more comfortable… PS: My favorite line is ‘And I needed to be unnoticed by strangers.'”
I can’t share what he wrote between those lines, because that would give too much of the story away. I’m pleased that without knowing the plot past the first seven pages, the story is having a Big impact on the readers. Which, in turn, is having a Big impact on me.
It’s easy to doubt myself. To lose sight of the fact that I am not only a writer, but worth reading. Rejection comes in many forms, but the worst is from inside myself. This past week has caused me to stand a little taller, feel a little better about my works. To feel that self-confidence that comes with a job well done. And even if others hadn’t noticed, I’d still be taller. Better. Stronger. Because inward thoughts dictate outward behaviors.
And that’s the first of my Five Things Friday: The Big Easy. Here are the rest:
2. Harry Connick, Jr. has a new album out. Every Man Should Know. I’ve adored HCJ’s music since he first popped onto the scene in the late ’80s. Knowing my love for the man and his music, Darcy blessed me with an iTunes gift card so I could acquire the newest album. This of course was after I died and went to heaven while viewing Harry’s title video.
Just watch and listen:
(For those of you who don’t know, Harry was born in New Orleans.)
3. Jambalaya. I’ll be in my kitchen soon, cooking up a Mojo Original Jambalaya. I’ve never made it before, but I have a shaker of Zatarain’s Creole Seasoning that I love to dash on just about everything. I figure it’s time to use it for it’s intended purpose and make those mouth glands water! There are so many ways to make Jambalaya that I’m pretty sure I can’t mess this up.
4. Last year when I first started my N’Awlins story, I created a Pinterest board. I’ve added ideas, locations, recipes, party goods, and media for inspiration. I’ve been listening to a lot of Jazz and watching movies set in the South to get a feel for the accents, behaviors, settings, and characters. Since it’s likely I won’t make it to The Big Easy before I finish the story, I’m okay with living vicariously through the creative minds of others. Currently, my movies of choice are Double Jeopardy with Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd, and Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil with Kevin Spacey and John Cusack.
5. To keep me inspired, I created a simple photo collage for my computer background. It’s a compilation of the first online resource materials I collected, as well as the writings I worked on this week. It’s colorful, detailed, yet simple.
NOLA Inspiration
I would love nothing more than to tell you as you read this, I’m enjoying beignets and coffee at Cafe DuMonde. Or even enjoying beignets and coffee from Cafe DuMonde. I know so much about them. Unfortunately, they’ve yet to know about me. Sometimes, soon can’t be soon enough.
