I’ve been praying all wrong.
Last night God whispered through my shouts.
Last night I was holding on so tight, begging for resolution that didn’t come.
I asked Him, “Why?”
He pried my hands lose so He could hold them.
He said, “Stop limiting me.”
I said, “Why aren’t you fixing this? I mean, I’m trying to trust you and all, but why aren’t you fixing this?”
He said, “Who says I’m not?”
I stomped. I pointed. I whined.
I said, “Because it’s not fixed! I can see it’s not fixed. How am I supposed to trust you when you’re not fixing what you said you’d fix?”
He said, again, “Who said I’m not?”
I turned my back and hummphed at Him.
I said, “Because it’s not fixed.”
He said, “What does ‘fixed’ look like to you?”
So I told Him.
Then He said, “That’s different than what it looks like to Me.”
I said, “Yeah. Your ‘fix’ isn’t the same. So it’s not fixed!”
He said, “So you have a problem.”
I said, “Yes, I do.”
Then He asked, “And you also have the solution?”
I said, “Of course not. That’s why I’m coming to you.”
He said, “So you have a problem. And you don’t have a solution. but you ‘know’ my solution isn’t working because you can’t see the ‘fix’. Is that it?”
I got angry. “Yes! That’s it!”
He said, “So you know what ‘fixed’ looks like. And you’ve been asking me to ‘fix’ this problem according to your vision.”
I said, “Yup. That’s right. So here’s my problem. Fix it. Fix it this way.”
And He said, “I’ve been trying to fix it. But you’re asking for the wrong solution.”
I said, “I’m confused.”
And I’m pretty sure He laughed. Gently, but He laughed.
“I know,” He said. “You have a problem, and you think you also have the solution. But you can’t have both. One precludes the other.”
Of course, I wanted to be snippy and say, “Oh, God. You just think you know everything don’t you?”
But of course, He does.
And I don’t.
So I stepped back.
And He was right.
My prayers aren’t answered because they’re the wrong prayers. They’re not answered, because I’m not giving Him the chance.
If I have the solution, I no longer have the problem. If I have the problem, obviously my solution doesn’t work.
I have to take myself out of the Solution Box.
And a funny thing happens when I do.
It gives God room to fill it.
HIS way.
And let’s face it.
Dad’s way is best.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5)
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote.
I hope it all gets sorted out for you.
William Kendall recently posted..Vive La France
Thank you, William. You’re always on point with your comments and I appreciate you for that.
I love this. I think anyone who has ever been faced with challenges and struggles in life can relate. We want if fixed, but we don’t trust God to do it right for us. He sees a bigger picture. Once, I was driving to Palmdale and I was pulled over by the police and got a speeding ticket. I was so mad. I didn’t have money to pay the ticket, but I scraped things together and got it taken care of. Several months later, I was driving through the same area, and of course, I slowed down. It was in that same area where I had a blow out on one of the tires on my minivan. Because I was going slow, the car jerked to the side, but I was able to maintain control and steer it off of the road. If I didn’t get the ticket, I would have been driving fast. Who knows what would have happened to me and my children? God DOES know everything. Trust him. Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you, Patti. Your story is remarkable. Walt Disney said, “You may realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” I always try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Lately, I’ve been asking God to show me the light in the tunnel itself.
Molly Jo recently posted..Bad Credit.
Well-said, Molly! Most of us will identify, so I’ll highlight your post on the Christian Poets & Writers blog – http://www.christianpoetsandwriters.com. God bless.
Thank you so much, Mary. What a blessing. I look forward to reading and contributing so much more.
Molly Jo recently posted..Bad Credit.