I just published Hidden Files, about discovering some old writings I’d forgotten or pushed to the sides. I found writings I’d intended to publish on a former Blog. It was a blog that had three readers, and lasted four or five months. For obvious reasons, I shut it down and started Frankly, My Dear… which seems to be doing so much better. [Thank you, kind readers!]
I came across these two in particular. I apologize they’re a bit unclear; the only way to capture the entire essence and word structures was to save them as a PDF-photo and enlarge them here. It makes the letters a bit blurred; but still readable.
I was surprised at the raw honesty of these two posts. The cursing of emotions that I was willing to announce. But mostly, I’m pleased because I can now look at it from The Other Side instead of In The Moment. I am no longer That Girl in That Moment. I am now The Girl Who Grew.
I’m at peace with different events in my life. I’m at peace with the absence of what I once thought was love. Now, before you get all riled up in my defense, I will add this disclaimer: I’m very good friends with the “enemy” of these posts. He knows I write about him now and then. We talk often. He was a lousy almost-boyfriend; but he’s always been the best of friends.
And I’m at peace with the experience. It was years ago when I was younger and unsure of myself. I had little to offer someone else, other than, as he affectionately tells me, requests for High Maintenance.
I read these posts yesterday. And I smiled.
Because I’m not who I was. I’m who I am. And even that’s not Who I’ll Be.
And I’m okay with that.
Because I’m living for the future.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
I am soooo proud of who you’ve become and that you can look back with a smile. Sometimes our lessons we NEED to learn hurt the most, or are the hardest.
Love and hugs!!
Amen to that, Lisa. Love and hugs back! I’m likewise proud of you!
Molly Jo recently posted..My [Un]Broken Heart
I love the raw emotion. You are such a deep thinker and I love you.
Thanks, Jess. I think the bigger accomplishment here is, as a writer, putting myself so deeply exposed to the public. But I did, and it feels good!
Molly Jo recently posted..My [Un]Broken Heart
Does not sound like a good guy!!! I am glad that is in the past : )
Ann recently posted..I Like Dolls
He’s actually a very good guy, Ann. And I’m proud to say we’re still good friends. I was going through a very clingy-needy time and should not have tried to be in a serious relationship back then. I’m glad for the lessons I learned!
Molly Jo recently posted..My Baby Blog is Growing Up!