Oct 18, 2015 |
At the beginning of the month, I posted about my experience with bad credit. I expected mixed results but the response was overwhelmingly favorable, and many of you thanked me for my transparency.
Truth be told, I didn’t share everything. Let’s face it: finances are a really private matter. I mean, it’s not like any of us are going to put our bank books on public display, right?
Open Wallet
And why would you? Your life dynamics are just as personal as your wallet. Are you hearing me?
Every situation is different.
So why do the credit companies treat us all the same?
The reasons for my bad credit aren’t the same as yours or your mailman’s brother’s cousin’s dog’s groomer. That’s okay. Neither are the solutions.
Let’s recap, shall we?
- I am not a credit expert. I am not, have never been, and have no plans to be: A professional debt collector, credit counselor, financial adviser, or life coach.
- I have experienced unemployment, car accidents, medical bills, single parenting, and poverty.
- I did not crawl into a corner and stay there. Okay. Yes. I did crawl in. It was ugly. But I didn’t ~ repeat, I did not ~ stay there.
I am slowly and surely finding my way out of my debt and bad credit situation, and as vulnerable as that makes me feel, I’m here to share [parts of] my story with you.
Today’s theme is Communicate.
Use your words, people!
That’s it. Use your words, people! But here’s the thing: Are you putting emphasis on the right word? If I say, “Use your words, people!” what do you hear? Me telling you just to talk. But if I say, “Use your words, people!” it changes, doesn’t it? Now it’s about you and your words. About expressing your situation.
This gem of advice was given to me a few years ago but it wasn’t until this year that I realized the power behind it. And it happened by mistake. Or grand design. I’m not sure which.
One particular evening I was ignoring the many Caller Unknown phone calls. In a moment of silence, I reached to make a call of my own, but as things happen, I picked up a call just as it came in. You know the feeling. Do you hang up? Stay quiet so they hang up? What? What? WHAT??
Being the conscientious authentic tired person that I was, I took the call. It was one of my credit card companies. I know. I’m late. Again. Still. My favorite part (not!) is when they ask, “What is the reason for the delinquency?” I really want to rant. Rave. Rebel. Instead, on this call, I politely said, “You know, you asked me that last month and the answer hasn’t changed. I simply don’t make enough money any more.”
So you know what they did? They laughed. They turned me over to a debt collector. They offered to work with me on an income-based payment plan.
Tired Girl say what??
That WAS easy!
We took a few minutes to review some information. How much do I make? How big is my family? And then, those magic words: We can work with you.
I was so excited, I answered the next call. And the next. Soon, I had arrangements made for several bills. You know what? The phone stopped ringing as much. The nasty-grams slowed down. And the bills are getting paid.
No, it’s not easy. And it’s not simple. I have to make sure I’m on top of my budget and there are times when I can’t make even the minimal payment so I get to swallow my pride, pick up the phone, and ask for more help. But I do it, because it’s worth it.
I don’t want to default or file bankruptcy. I want to pay my own debts. And when I own up to my financial mess, when I let others know the what’s and why’s and how’s of my situation, they’re more willing to work with me.
These posts started the day after I took another call to try to reduce a bill. In my mind, I had created a monster of debt, and I was ashamed and certain that I should just do a George Bailey and jump off the nearest bridge. Instead, I talked to the woman on the other end of the phone.
In the end, I was in tears.
I explained my situation, again. But this was a new company. This debt was transferred to a new collections department. How humiliating.
Except it wasn’t. Because she spoke to me like I was human, an individual. Not like a number or statistic or deadbeat. She valued me.
We all have value.
And then she said something I’ll not forget.
“You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. But I’ve been in your situation. I have. And I’m going to tell you, hang in there. Okay? It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.”
And that’s why I cried. Because I allowed myself the vulnerability of showing my human-ness to a stranger, and she gave it back to me.
There was no condemnation, no threats, no hardlining. Just a person, talking to a person, working things out.
So I’m here to tell you
It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.
Here’s a few simple tips to help you recover your finances:
- Answer the phone.
- Talk to people.
- Be honest about your situation, what you can (and can’t) afford.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
- Try. Try again.
- If the person isn’t willing to work with you, talk to a supervisor. It won’t always help, but most of the time, it will.
- Follow up. If you make a promise to pay, pay. If you say you’ll call back, call back. They like it when you’re truthful.
What else can I tell you? You have value. I believe in you. And you know what?
It gets better. It does. I promise you. It gets better.
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Communication is Key. @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #communication
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Every situation is different. @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #overcoming
TWEET THIS: Overcoming Bad Credit: Use your words, people! @RealMojo68 #badcredit #credit #debt #overcoming
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
Aug 9, 2015 |
Remember when I went to Blue Ridge and so many crazy awesome writing-editing connection things happened? And how I drank lots of sweet tea?
Sweet Tea at Blue Ridge
And remember how, before I went, I was big on collecting pennies and coins in my jar?
My Penny Jar
And you know how I have a writer’s mind so I link cause-and-effect like other people don’t? Well . . .
Say hello to my new “jar”.
Sweet Savings
Every time I drop a coin or bill into my Sweet Savings bottle, it’s a reminder of what I’m striving for. And the fact that it’s a much bigger container than the little jar is an indicator of just how big my dreams are.
But wait . . . there’s more.
I’d not found pennies on the sidewalk for quite a while. At least a month. And y’all know how I feel about pennies, right? They’re the essential building block for life.
The Penny Parable, available at Amazon
So I’m starting to feel a little let down, you know? A little ignored by God. Oh, stop! You say. Not finding a penny does not equate being abandoned by God. I know that.
Don’t you think I know that?
And yet . . . as I’m sipping my sweet tea, and missing my Blue Ridge peeps, and wondering why I’m not finding pennies, God creeps into my psyche. You know how He does. That still, small voice that hijacks your thought process and turns you on your heels because you secretly asked Him to even though you’re not sure want to admit it.
So the prayer-conversation went something like this:
ME: Go away.
GOD: Is that really what you want?
ME: Yes. Maybe. No. I don’t know. I’m mad at you. Go away so it’s easier for me to be mad at you.
GOD: Why are you mad at me?
ME: Because I miss my people. And I have unfulfilled dreams. And you haven’t given me teddy bears or pennies for a really long time. I miss that.
GOD: You know why I used to give you teddy bears and pennies?
ME: Because you loved me. And you know I collect teddy bears and pennies. They used to call me the ‘Teddy Bear Rescue Mission’ because I’d find so many abandoned teddy bears on the roadside. I’d take them home and fix them up. And I still have them. And the pennies state right there ‘In God We Trust’. And when I needed to remember to trust You, You’d give me a penny. Or more. And You haven’t lately. Nothing. At all.
GOD: I don’t give you pennies as often because you already know to trust me. You still trust me. You don’t need the reminder.
ME: I know. But it’s still nice to be told You’re thinking of me.
GOD: I’m always thinking of you. And I don’t give you teddy bears any more because you don’t need them. The bears I used to give you were for comfort and security. You’re growing up nicely and don’t need that any more.
ME: I know, but . . .
GOD: But you still want them. I understand. And when you appreciate those gifts as gifts I’ll let you find them again. But right now, you want them for the wrong reasons. Right now, you want them so you don’t feel alone.
ME: Yes.
GOD: But you’re not alone. And you know that.
ME: Yes.
GOD: I have something better for you to collect: People.
ME: People?
GOD: People. Every person you know is worth treasuring. Some are more valuable than others, and some are older than others. But every one is a treasure.
ME: I’m a people-collector?
GOD: Yes.
ME: So you’re telling me I don’t need pennies or teddy bears, but I do need people. And these coins are symbolic of the people in my life. Past, present, and future. The people I interact with are important. They are my fun, my security, my soft hugs, my reprimands, my world.
GOD: Yes.
ME: You know, when you put it that way, my treasures far outweigh what’s contained in this bottle. There’s family, writers, church, the day job, Facebook peeps, supporters.
GOD: I know.
[Insert seriously long pause as I contemplate the need to recognize the value in others, and the necessity of showing others how valuable they are to me.]
ME: Hey, God?
GOD: Yes, Child?
ME: Will you be my first penny?
GOD: I thought you’d never ask.
Remember the Value of Your People
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
Invisible Person in a Sea of People: Robin H. and the 99-Cent Sin
Filigree Frosting
Stop Fighting and Be Still.
Aug 13, 2014 |
Welcome back to “What’s the Word?” Wednesdays.
WwW was a weekly Blog Hop, where other bloggers were invited to link up their Wednesday posts and share comments on what’s going on in their worlds.
That was then, this is now. Then, complicated back links and sharing was required. Now, WwW will feature a guest blogger every other week.
This week’s guest blogger is my good friend and writing mentor, Aaron Gansky. He’s married to my long-time friend Naomi. He teaches high school English. He writes. And he plays Magic: The Gathering.
He’s teaching me how to nerd out on it, and I must say, I’m finding it to be much more than just a game. Now, I’m still in kindergarten when it comes to learning how to play, but I do know a good investment when I see one. Like those cards I found by accidentally purchasing a foreign-language booster pack.
Mana Confluence in Japanese (Magic: The Gathering)
So when I asked Aaron to be my first guest blogger for “What’s the Word?” Wednesdays and he asked if there was any topic I wanted, this was a no brainer.
Aaron D. Gansky
Aaron D. Gansky on Magic and Writing
Okay, I need to make a confession here. I play nerd games. A lot of them. So much so that I don’t even celebrate New Year’s Eve anymore. For my friends and I, we celebrate Nerd Year’s Eve. And I’m totally okay with it. Hours upon hours of nerd games is the best way to ring in a new year.
Of all the geeky past times I enjoy, however, my favorite is a fantasy-themed strategy card game called Magic: The Gathering. When I first played it, the depth and complexity of it overwhelmed me. But the more I played (largely hooked by the captivating artwork on each card), the more I got a feel for it. Now, I’ve spent far too much time/money on the hobby.
So why am I writing about it here? What’s it have to do with fiction? A few things. Firstly, since I write fantasy, it’s a great way to overcome writer’s block. All I need to do, when stuck for a lead, is flip through my binder (okay, binderS) of cards. Something there is bound to inspire me. But more so, studying the balance of power in the game helps me better understand the balance my fiction needs to have.
More than that, here’s what Magic has taught me about fiction—you’ve got to have a clear vision if you want to succeed. The best players, those who go on the pro-circuit and end up making WAY too much money on the “sport,” all build their own decks. While each player must abide by the same set of rules, how they maximize their power within those rules is fascinating. The best players, the best decks, all have a “theme,” be it an aggressive onslaught of creatures, a heavy dose of direct damage from elemental spells, or an intense manipulation of the rules, each deck does one thing really well. And while it may have a few defensive measures, the best defense is a good offense (generally speaking).
Our fiction should also have the same clarity of vision. All fiction has a set of “rules” to abide by, but how we test those rules, press up against them, bend them, twist them, and sometimes even break them, determines how successful our fiction can be. If we play it safe, we may not win. Our clear vision of which rules we’re going to focus on to manipulate and exploit can make for powerful prose. We can do it in short fiction, focusing on one rule, or we can dedicate a chapter in our novel to stretching the boundaries of what our fiction can do. Just make sure you’re doing it deliberately, for a specific purpose, and not just to show off your “gimmicky” writing. Don’t bend and break just to bend and break. It should serve a purpose, just as it does in Magic: The Gathering.
Thanks, Aaron, for being my first guest blogger, and for sharing your knowledge of nerdism.
You can follow Aaron online here:
Aaron on Facebook
Aaron on twitter
Firsts in Fiction on Facebook
Firsts in Fiction on twitter
Aaron’s blog
Aaron/Firsts in Fiction on Youtube
Aaron/Firsts in Fiction on Google+
Aaron’s Amazon Author’s Page
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
MoJo Book Review and Giveaway: The Bargain by Aaron D. Gansky
FIVE THINGS FRIDAY: Start/Stop
Doing the Write Thing: Writing Conferences Fundraiser
FIVE THINGS FRIDAY: The Experience.
2014: BETTER.
Nov 16, 2011 |
My blogging experience over the past two years has taught me some valuable lessons and given me great insight.
It can be (and for the serious blogger/writer, should be) considered a job. Accordingly, I need to approach it as such. That means I keep at it, even when I want to call in sick or take a personal day. I show up, I put in a good amount of time and effort. And when the situation calls for it, I go above and beyond the norm. Maybe this means finding a hot topic to discuss, or just a new writing style to try out.
I used to think blogging was for wanna-be’s and cheaters. No way am I putting my writing out there. On the internet. For everyone to see, and, you know, steal. No. Stinking. Way.
But then I got sucked in. A few friends were blogging, so I checked it out. Oh, okay. It’s like an online journal that you share. With strangers. Yeah. That’s not intimidating.
Facebook gave me my first taste. I started posting Notes, and getting some responses. Hey. This isn’t so bad. And I felt… valued. Like what I said was important to someone else. And it was. How do I know this? Because. They left comments. Saying what I said was important. Huh. That worked out nicely.
Over a year ago, I started my first blog. It went nowhere. I had five followers ~ all friends. And not a clue about what I was doing. I mean, I loved writing. And sharing little life-stories. But it wasn’t growing, and neither was I. It atrophied. And I was a bit embarrassed.
So last April I tried again. I thought I had this Blog-as-a-Job thing figured out: I had a clear goal, a direction, a theme. I knew what I wanted to focus on, and how to focus. It was a mainstream blog idea. It should have done fine.
It didn’t.
Because I didn’t.
Because I still had no clue what I was really doing.
It was like being made office manager when I didn’t even know how to answer the phones.
But little by little, staying in the deep end that I had thrown myself, I learned how to swim. I read other blogs. I googled ideas. Most importantly, I received an immense amount of counsel and assistance from two professionals: Keri and Erik, distant (as in, physically far away) friends who, through the blessings of the instant internet, have been available to answer all my questions and help me out accordingly.
I soon realized my blog had its own idea of what it wants to be. Well, you can raise a child but you can’t control them… so my blog and I grew together. We branched out, tested some waters. Stepped out of the swamp of chaos and into the cool, refreshing oasis that is now Frankly, My Dear…
And it’s working. Because I treat it like work. In the past three months, my dedication to my blog is superceded only by my love of writing (I miss you, Meg!) and cooking. I giggle every time one of my unsuspecting friends suggests I remind them of “Julie and Julia”. I’m just waiting for that literary agent to notice my blog and call me up with a book deal. (I’ve got tons of ideas, and some are even finished.)
So. Blogging is my job. I put in hours every day. I count other blogs as coworkers, and check in regularly. I look at the want ad’s: those blogrolls that list other blogs I might be interested in. I’ve found quite a few. It’s fascinating how many blogs there are. For any and everything.
I look at formats: do I have too much? Not enough? How can my content improve? And I get ideas. I get links. And now I’m getting Likes.
Readers are the currency of blogging. I know I’ve written a good post based on how many “likes” it gets, how many “shares” and “posts” and “tweets”. (It never ceases to amaze me that the ones I think are going to be popular, aren’t so much; but there are other ones that just take off and surprise me!)
For a few weeks now, I’ve seen my blog grow. In content. In design. And lately, in readership. Every time I get a new subscriber, it’s like getting a pay raise. It’s like a floral delivery and a chocolate cake all rolled into one. It’s like saying I have something worthwhile.
And while I’m not trying to be narcissistic about it; being a writer, you can’t help but have a bit of that. Because if I didn’t have faith in myself and my writing, how on earth could I possibly put it out there for everyone else? Yet, I always say, a writer is only as good as the readers allow. And getting new readers is that acknowledgment that I must be finally doing something good. (And now, for some strange reason, I’m singing the song, “Something Good” from The Sound of Music). But that’s actually how I feel: perhaps in the past I screwed up, perhaps I’m not all I once thought I wanted to be. But here, on my blog, you accept me. And you make me feel okay about being who it is that I now want to be. So I just want to thank you.
All of you.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote.
