What does TGIF mean to you? Some days it’s a breath of fresh air, an exhaling of all the week’s stresses and pressures. Other times it could be anticipation of a weekend event.
For me, this week, it’s a way of getting back on track with my writing, my house, and other aspects of my life that seem to have careened off track lately.
I’ve been working very hard, and I’m seeing the fruits of my labor, even if no one else is.
I had a financial scare earlier this week. You know, one of those moments when it looks like the bottom is gonna drop? But then things worked out. Things aren’t great. But they’re survivable. At least for another few weeks. And sometimes that the best I can do.
I know I’m a great preacher for trusting in God. And I do. But I’m also human. And I worry. Because I also believe it’s my duty to do the best I can with what I have. And let’s be honest here, so often it feels that my best is absolutely not good enough.
I have a prayer, a dream, that someday the only bills I’ll have will be my mortgage and living expenses. I don’t see that day coming any time soon, but I can say I’m one paid-bill closer than I was a month ago. And hopefully by the end of March, I’ll be yet another one paid-bill closer. I don’t like financial struggles. I don’t like not being able to pay my bills. So when things seem so utterly despairing, it’s really a beautiful feeling to discover they’re not.
I’ve discovered that the best way for me to get over the anxiety of my budget is to act like it doesn’t matter.
You know I have a tree in the middle of my yard. I mean, practically smack-dab right in the middle of my front yard. And while the birds love it and I love the shade it offers, I don’t like that tree. It’s a Cottonwood, and drops these ridiculous round seed puffs that look like, well, little brown drops all over my yard. My goal is to have the tree cut down and two Sugar Maples put closer to the property line. More color, more shade, more yard. It’s a win-win-win situation. Except tree-cutters are expensive. Very expensive. And when I can’t even afford the regular bills, I’m thinking hiring a tree cutter isn’t a smart decision. So guess what.
I’m doing it. No, I’m not hiring someone. I’m doing it. I’m cutting the tree down. Myself. All. By. Myself. Yesterday I sawed one large limb off.
It was only one limb, but it was big. And heavy. And I did it. And it felt good. I don’t like chopping down the trees because I need shade and the birds need shelter. But I really dislike that tree. And I need to make room for the new ones. Once I get to where I need a ladder to cut the limbs, then I’ll have a problem. Maybe by then I’ll have won the lottery and can hire someone. If not, I’m sure someone out there is willing to be a temporary lumberjack (now accepting applications) in exchange for a home-cooked meal. Again: a win-win situation.
Always look on the bright side.
The writing and the cooking and the Cookbooks and the housecleaning and the birthdaying and the family and the loving and the working and the gardening and the pruning and the planting… it all adds up to one very busy me. And I’m okay with that.
Still. After a week like this, it really is nice to say, TGIF. And I might even get to sleep in tomorrow.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
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[A special shout-out to Shell at Things I Can’t Say for inspiring me with her Wednesday POUR YOUR HEART OUT link.]