My [Un]Broken Heart

I just published Hidden Files, about discovering some old writings I’d forgotten or pushed to the sides. I found writings I’d intended to publish on a former Blog. It was a blog that had three readers, and lasted four or five months. For obvious reasons, I shut it down and started Frankly, My Dear… which seems to be doing so much better. [Thank you, kind readers!]

I came across these two in particular. I apologize they’re a bit unclear; the only way to capture the entire essence and word structures was to save them as a PDF-photo and enlarge them here. It makes the letters a bit blurred; but still readable.

I was surprised at the raw honesty of these two posts. The cursing of emotions that I was willing to announce. But mostly, I’m pleased because I can now look at it from The Other Side instead of In The Moment. I am no longer That Girl in That Moment. I am now The Girl Who Grew.

I’m at peace with different events in my life. I’m at peace with the absence of what I once thought was love. Now, before you get all riled up in my defense, I will add this disclaimer: I’m very good friends with the “enemy” of these posts. He knows I write about him now and then. We talk often. He was a lousy almost-boyfriend; but he’s always been the best of friends.

And I’m at peace with the experience. It was years ago when I was younger and unsure of myself. I had little to offer someone else, other than, as he affectionately tells me, requests for High Maintenance.

I read these posts yesterday. And I smiled.

Because I’m not who I was. I’m who I am. And even that’s not Who I’ll Be.

And I’m okay with that.

Because I’m living for the future.

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!

He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not…

A few years ago I wrote a little prose called “He loves me. He loves me not.” Ever since then, I’ve had the idea to compile some of my writings, poems and prose, into a collection that explains my relationship with God and Christ.

It’s not meant to be preachy. Not meant to be One Size Fits All. Just my story, and the story of my Walk with God. The peaks and valleys, the sunlight and the shadows. It’s going to be full of emotion, honesty, and even denial.

One of my brothers has graciously given me permission to use photos he’s taken of desert wildlife to enhance the book, add visual drama to the pages. For this, I am incredibly grateful. So imagine, just imagine my giggly joy when I woke up this morning to find an email link to those photos.

I. Am. So. Happy!

Here are just a few of the great photos that he took, that I’ll be featuring in the book:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So far, the one I love the most is the one I call Desert Beauty:

Aren’t they great? I’m thankful to have these visual cues to help me format what I’ve already written. It makes my prose so much better, don’t you think?

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!