TGIF: December 28, 2012

Dec 28, 2012 | 5 comments

It’s the last Friday of the month, and the year.
I’ve had my Resolutions in place for over a week now.
A writing schedule. A work schedule. A home schedule.
A food budget. A recipe budget. A home budget. An emergency budget.

I have a plan. I plan… to plan.

Since July, 2011 I sort of flew by the seat of my pants. Until I started working again.
Without child support and only 35 hours a week, my income isn’t that great. But it’s mine. And I’m doing the best I can.

I have never wanted to go on Welfare. I’m frustrated with the stigma that causes. I understand the system isn’t perfect, but nothing ever is. I don’t like the perception that “everyone” on welfare is lazy or taking advantage of others. There is no shame in finding help when it’s vital to existence. But I refuse to burden society with my debts. I’ve always managed to pay my bills… late, past due, those fees add up. But at least I’m the one paying them. And someday soon, it will get better.

We’re going to tighten the belt even more around here. Now that the holiday specials are over, I’m suspending my TV subscription for a few months. That money will go toward paying off the smallest bill in January. So in February, I can take the TV money and the smallest bill money, and put that toward the next smallest bill. After another month, that’s two bills paid off.

If the Fiscal Cliff isn’t as horrid as we’re being scared into thinking, my tax refund should help pay off a few more small debts.

My goal, God willing and the Creek Don’t Rise, is to be nearly debt-free by the end of 2013. The only remaining debts should by my mortgage, car, and student loans.

That’s the plan.

I don’t know how realistic it is. If anything changes, I don’t know how I’ll handle it.

I received four books for Christmas. Dot gave me a wonderful edition of JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit. It includes maps, has a leather cover, and is pocket size. It’s perfect! The other three are from my brother. Three books on better blogging. There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to read! (Another reason the TV won’t be missed.)

I’m making a menu plan for January. That’s a separate post. I was gifted with a $100 gift card for Christmas, and I intend to use it strictly for my food budget. I want to see how long it will last if I plan ahead. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a few snacks. I’m choosing foods that will go a long way: one box of Malt-o-Meal is two weeks’ breakfast for us. My Slow Cooker Ratatouille will feed us for days as a hot dish, pizza topping, and in my Baked Frittata.

I’m going to cut out fast food eating, too. That means no Starbucks in January, and I can’t begin to tell you how I feel about that. I’m only six drinks shy of keeping my Gold Card Status, too. Well, my tastebuds won’t thank me, but my wallet will!

And then there’s the writing. Oh, the writing! Recipes. Dragons. And everything in between. I miss posting daily links at BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo, but I don’t miss my trite, nonsensical postings. With the Cookbook Campaign, the Series with Megan, the Study on the Ten Commandments, and a few other starter projects, my writing plate is overflowing with goodies!

And today is Friday. The last Friday of the month and year. But really… it’s just the Beginning.

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!

Another TGIF

Dec 7, 2012 | 2 comments

When I wrote my first TGIF post, I hadn’t planned on making it a staple of this Blog. But sometimes a person just stumbles upon what works.

That first post was soul-baring. This one, notsomuch. This one, I really am just thankful.

Today I get my second paycheck. I find it ironic that my first post let you in on my life of poverty; and here it is a few weeks later and I’m praising the payday. It’s not a lot. It won’t replace the missing child support. But it’s enough. I’ll make it enough. And that’s all I need.

Sometimes I get frustrated, having just “enough”. Sometimes I’d like to be more than “ok”. But I’ll take what I can get, and give Thanks for it. I’ve been teasing my coworker when he leaves for lunch that he’s not allowed to come back unless he brings the winning Lottery ticket with him. This week, our Boss overheard and asked if it was a big jackpot this week. I laughed and said, “I have absolutely no idea.” We agreed that any extra money is more than what we have now so why not grab it?

Sometimes I feel like I’m back on that Merry-Go-Round. Going nowhere except high and low. Up and down and chasing my tail in circles.

Not this time. This time I’m reaching for the Brass Ring. And you know what? If my little pony can’t get me there, it’s time to change strides. Time to change horses. Time to do whatever it takes to be a winner.

The first step is to acknowledge there are steps. Success isn’t All-or-Nothing. It’s a journey. And it starts here. Now. With me. It starts.

That’s how I feel today. This paycheck is the start of Something Good. The planets seem to be aligning for me and Dot, and it’s been a long time coming. I have a job. My Kickstarter campaign is off to a good start. Oh, and let’s not forget it’s holiday time.

So. In the infamous words of my favorite TV show theme… I’m gonna make it after all.

Mary Tyler Moore Wanna-Be
and My Photo Bombing Dot

Indeed.

I have a lot to be thankful for today.

How ’bout you?

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!

You may also enjoy reading:
TGIF
TGIF, Part II
TGIF, Part III
You’re Gonna Make It After All

There Is No Magic Button. And I’m Okay With That.

Nov 18, 2012 | 1 comment

This last month has shown me so much. I’ve seen seen how to make ends meet when I didn’t think I could. I’ve learned how to cook rice in ways I didn’t know possible. I’ve managed to keep writing every day, even when I didn’t think I had anything to write about. And I’ve realized you want me to be honest.

For a few weeks, I’ve been finding that honesty. It’s led me to expose parts of my life that I hadn’t let too many see. And your outpouring has been so wonderful, so uplifting. Thank you.

Thank you.

My day job is going well. I’d forgotten more about the job than I realized. In the time I’ve been out of the industry, procedures have changed. My new office runs differently than the last. So ten days after my first day, and I’m still on the “learning curve”. My Boss is patient. Informative. Helpful.

I’m thankful.

I know my posts of late have been stricken with words like “poverty” mixed with “hope”. I’m not beating a dead horse nor riding romantically off into the sunset. Rather, I’m in between those two dynamics; I’m living life daily making choices that I intend to lead to a better 2013.

I don’t have the winning lottery ticket. No magic wand. It will take time to reach the quick goals. But it’s do-able. I can still write. Publish. Market. Earn. Work.

How wonderfully exciting the future seems to me right now. How intimidating and thrilling and workable.

Emily Dickinson said it best:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all …

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!

Maybe I Should’ve Just Gone on Welfare

Nov 17, 2012 | 2 comments

Dot and I went car shopping today. I need her to have her own car. With my new job and her full-time college schedule, the car-sharing thing is getting tedious at best and a little frustrating at least. Thankfully, we’ve been able to borrow a second vehicle when necessary.

I know we can make the current situation work, but I hope it won’t last for long. When driving someone else’s car, I only drive it the necessary distance from home to work and back again. I wait until behind the wheel of my own vehicle before running errands like grocery shopping and mail dropping. My weekends are no longer my own.

So today we went car shopping. And we found one. Actually we found several, but we went back to the first one. It’s nice. Two years old. Affordable.

Except I couldn’t get it financed. My credit score is just a little too low, and I haven’t been on the job long enough. Re-ringing the poverty bell is not ~ repeat, not ~ my favorite pastime. And I know after a few more months on the job, after a few more on-time bill payments, I’ll be back in the swing of things.

I hate how a three-digit number defines whether or not I’m “responsible”. Yes, I’ve had to pay my bills late, but I’ve paid them. I haven’t defaulted. I haven’t allowed them to go into collections.

I chose to bear my burdens as best I could and not pass my struggles “down the line”. I hate listening to media and the public hate-monger against welfare and those who “abuse the system”. There are so many legitimate situations that require assistance; I’ve seen them and in earlier years been in them. But those are the stories we don’t hear.

I’ve been tempted to ride that train again. I sometimes so badly want to stand in the public square and scream, “Somebody help me!” To have someone pay the utilities, buy the groceries, take care of the bills. Whatever it takes to allow me to save enough money to buy my daughter a car. But I can’t go there. I don’t want to take funds away from some other family who needs it more: the homeless mother with a young baby. The unemployed Vet who can’t pay his mortgage. Those who don’t have family and friends to come alongside them for comfort or coffee or car-sharing.

The last year and a half, I held out hope that things would get better.

And I kept paying my own bills.

And I can’t buy my daughter a much-needed car.

And while it feels oxymoronic, I’m comfortable with this situation. Because it’s our situation.

It’s hard to explain the feeling of calm we have in our household right now. It may be months before things get “better”; but I know to so many others our situation is Golden.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tonight I’m home with Dot. We’re together. We’re healthy. We’re happy. In our home.

I’d say we’re faring pretty well.

And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!