I love my stability. I love my schedule. I love every so often letting loose and being spontaneous, because I know that I can return to my daughter, my recliner, my laptop, my cat, and my coffee. And I can count on those five things to be consistent.
I love having a routine. I love knowing what I can count on.
This is not news.
But this year, I’m daring to be a little more bold, a little more go-with-the-unknown. That’s so not the same as go-with-the-flow. The flow ebbs and tides, rises with the moon and sets with the sun. The unknown has no schedule for the moon or sun.
Today was my daughter’s first day back at school after over two weeks off for the holidays. She had a blast. She got to see her friends, her boyfriend, and was her typical social butterfly. She does great in school. I’m one proud Momma.
During her break, we took it easy and took each day as it came. Some were planned (holidays and friendly get-togethers), but overall we just woke up and decided to stay here or go there (lunch at Grandma’s, catch a movie). It was really a unique experience for me to be inconsistent for more than three days in a row.
I learned a few things about myself during the last few days. The first is, I like being laid back and semi-carefree. But I also like having the important things in order. I’ve learned what doesn’t cause me to lose sleep… and what does.
I’ve also discovered that having a plan and not following it can cause as much anxiety as not having a plan at all. ISN’T THERE A HAPPY MEDIUM SOMEWHERE?!
I feel better when I have a plan, a goal, a routine. Knowing what needs to get done, and planning for it gives me great satisfaction. Knowing what needs to get done, and ignoring it, pretty much cancels any need for caffeine. I hate being anxious over To-Do Lists.
So here is my happy little solution: Less To-Do Lists. More Unknown. Living in the Moment. Trusting God that as long as I’m doing what needs to be done, the rest doesn’t have to be scheduled, plotted out, planned for, or routinized.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Not-To-Do List to write out.