Dec 8, 2018 |
by Molly Jo Realy @MollyJoRealy
Zoiks! (Said in my best Scooby-Doo imitation). What a whirlwind. Some might suggest my life has been a bit of a hurricane lately. Hmmm…
I don’t know where I got the idea that being a Bohemian Hurricane went hand-in-hand with perfectionism. ‘Cause you know what? It doesn’t. [Stop nodding, mother. And don’t say anything when we call later.] Anyway, yes. I haven’t blogged because I haven’t written because I’m still unpacking from the beautiful chaos of having moved cross-country six weeks ago and downsized from a three bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment and helping Berry Sunshine cross the Rainbow Bridge and meeting and greeting all the people I moved to be close to and buying winter clothes (for the South? Are you even serious right now?!) and figuring out how to catch my breath and as of this moment, preparing to enjoy my first Southern snowfall. (So, yes. Back to the winter clothes thing. Apparently it is serious down here.) [Note to self: Get Starbucks card for Edie as thank you for finding the perfect coat when I had given up the search.]
Frankly, My Dear . . . That One Time I Didn’t Have to Be Perfect
Now, y’all know part of the main reason I moved was to be needy attach to surround myself with some of the best writers I know: my peeps from Blue Ridge. Yes, that Blue Ridge. The Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference that I go to each year. The same one where Steve Laube and I are now expected to throw Scooby Snacks at each other every year. The same one where I do incredibly stupid things like shout at people at inappropriate moments (although, really. Bless your heart. Is there ever a wrong time to yell, “You go, girl!” or “Aaron Gansky? Ohmagosh, I know him!”?). The same conference that I attend every May, and every June tell all y’all how my life has changed and I’m better for it, and my writing will be better for it . . . yadayadayada. I. Know.
But this time, it’s different. Because this time, I’m surrounded by perfectly imperfect writing people. And I love them completely. And they love me. As imperfect as I am. What an example! What mentors they are without even trying.
And I realize I don’t have to have a perfectly clean house or perfectly quiet area or perfectly planned plot (Okay, say that last one five times fast!) to accept their friendships. Or to be who I am. I just have to keep writing. Keep cleaning. Keep breathing. Keep being me.
You know . . . Keep on Keepin’ On.
And when I make mistakes, it’s not the end of the world. If I leave a dirty dish in the sink for a day, if I don’t check the mail or respond to a message right away, if I have a typo or missing punctuation, the world doesn’t really end. *GASP*. I know. But it’s true! I’m totally living proof!
I have to stop waiting to get everything perfect in my head and heart before sharing it, even with myself. I have to let go of the image of a perfect Facebook-post-worthy me. Cuz let’s be real. That rarely happens. Snow angels have boot prints leading up to them. My life is quite often the epitome of #NailedItFail, okay?
I gotta take what I have and move it forward. Whatever that means. Hey, you get a small ding on your car, do you junk it? No way. You have a story to tell. Your bananas turn brown before you eat them all. Toss ’em? Uh-uh. Make banana-walnut bread! What am I waiting for?
Imperfections are the lessons we teach ourselves. It’s where we learn to be creative and allow ourselves to find alternate solutions. It’s the pieces of our mosaic selves and the music we didn’t intend to sing.
Imperfections are not failures.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
~Thomas A. Edison
My word for 2019 is IMPERFECT.
And I’m going to embrace it perfectly.
Frankly, My Dear . . . : Perfectly Imperfect
With a scribbled-in notebook and a snowflake covered sleeve,
Happy imperfecting.
~Molly Jo
And Frankly, My Dear . . . That’s all she wrote!
Jan 1, 2016 |
Do y’all know me? Do you know you how I like my stability and security? You do? So it’s a surprise then, right, that change is my word for the year? Maybe it should be perspective but that only allows for a view shift. I think change is more dynamically inclusive of the unknown or irregular. And it gets the heart beating a little better.
Yeah. It surprises me too. I’m the one who likes to know things. I can go with the flow only so long as I know where the flow goes.
Life is either a daring adventure or it’s nothing. ~Helen Keller
Change is fluid. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, this or that. It can be subtle or strong. What I’m sweetly discovering is change doesn’t always mean replacement. It can mean addition, alteration, shift.
My Penny Jar
I’ve traded up my small glass penny jar for a larger plastic bottle that holds more ~ coins and bills. I haven’t stopped my saving. I’ve amped it up. That’s a change I can get on board with.
Embracing change can also mean not embracing change. I’m a creature of habit and schedule. I’ll grow my hair to almost shoulder length and then once or twice a year have it cut short and sassy. This week, I chose to change by not changing. I had my hair trimmed and colored, but not cut. I changed my habit of changing.
A Perspective Change
Last weekend I replaced the calendar pages in my day planner. I stood on the desk chair for this photo. Did my calendar change? Was there different tea in my NOLA mug? Did those thumb drives leap to life with pages ready for print? No. You already know that. But my perspective changed. Taking a step back from the task at hand allowed me to view the larger picture of my goals and tasks for the upcoming year.
Some change is necessary. If I stick my roots down too firmly in the familiar, I won’t bend but I might break with the storms. I am reminded to stop fighting and be still.
“Stop forcing a catastrophe where there’s not even a storm.”
I’m embracing change this year because I’m ready for the adventure it brings. I’m ready to move beyond my comfort zone. I’m not changing everything, but I’m refusing to remain stagnant.
As I write this, it’s New Year’s Eve and I’m watching The Poseidon Adventure with Mom. Now there’s an adventure movie. It’s our usual NYE fare, a tradition for many years. This year, I’m watching it differently. It’s the same movie, but my viewing has changed. It’s Al Gansky’s fault. He referenced it in the Spirituality in Fiction episode of the Firsts in Fiction podcast. It created another perspective shift for me.
The survivors of the Poseidon have to change their perspective, or they won’t survive. (I’d say “spoiler alert,” but I’m thinking you already know this.) The ship is turned upside down and they have to venture up which is down to find their way out. The world is in chaos, but they work together. Some make it, some don’t. But it’s the ones who stuck to their stability in the beginning, who clung to the familiar even in disarray, who never even had a chance. They believed the ordinary was still working, and they died before our protagonists’ adventure began.
The survivors realize that change was thrust upon them, and they choose to work through it, even creating some of their own. Dependencies, relationships, and strengths are born through the adventure of finding their salvation.
So maybe I’ll take two words this year. Change and Perspective. I can have one without the other, but together, it’s going to be quite an adventurous year.
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. C.S. Lewis
And Frankly, My Dear . . . that’s all she wrote!
Jan 8, 2014 |
I discovered something about myself a few weeks ago.
Halfway between Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that went with it, I decided to do what I haven’t done for a very long time.
I cranked up the radio and I sang along. Loudly.
It. Felt. Great.
There’s something about belting out a strong ballad or headbanging to a heavy bass that really makes me feel better. It’s soothing, aerobic, invigorating, inspirational, magical.
For me, singing is better than dancing or driving or exercise. And I love doing all those things! (Okay, not so much the exercise thingy.) It goes along with those things, sure. But singing is now second on my list of Ways to Feel Better. And isn’t this my year of being better? Of course it is!
So I’m singing my way through 2014.
When I began singing again a few weeks ago I was in my car. I used to crank it up and sing so loud! I haven’t done that in forever. I just listened. No more! I’ve decided to start participating again. To get my voice out there. Even if it’s just for me in my car or in my kitchen.
I began singing my recipes instead of just reading them. I have my alarm set to wake up to a song, not a beep.
Something wonderful happens when people sing.
The world stops. For just a moment. The world stops, and listens, and the singer smiles.
And people feel better.
There is no greater language than music.
And so today, I added a few more songs to My Soundtrack.
- Unwritten (Natasha Bedingfield). I love the lyrics: we’re all a blank page. It’s up to us to decide what others read from our lives.
- What the World Needs Now (Jackie DeShannon). I love this version from the soundtrack of My Best Friend’s Wedding. I also love the song. I believe the greatest thing in the world is love, and true love is incredibly powerful.
- Woman in Love (Barbra Streisand). I’ve always loved the Bee Gees. Even in the in-between time from when they were awesome to when they weren’t to when they were again. I have always loved the Bee Gees. The album, Guilty, written for Streisand, is a treasure trove of wonderful music. This is a great song to belt out.
- I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing (The New Seekers). Okay, now who isn’t thinking of a Coke commercial right now, am I right? If I could give the world anything, it would be the ability to write it out and sing it out. Both are beautiful forms of communication.
Now I’m scouring my music collection for some rockin’ tunes as well. Maybe I’ll even through in another country hit. Johnny Cash, anyone?
I’m singing my way through 2014.
What music are you singing along with?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
Jan 1, 2014 |
BETTER! 2014
Let’s be real: 2013 was a heart breaker, wasn’t it?
Everyone ~ and I mean everyone ~ has a story of hardship within the last 365 days. At the same time, everyone is looking forward to the New Year.
There’s always a sense of fresh. New. Hope. Promise. Something Good.
Am I right? As you’re reading this, aren’t you nodding and mentally going over your resolutions and new to-do’s? Don’t you feel like whatever happened in 2013, today begins the chance to change? A completely blank slate, to shape it however you want it to be.
Sitting Around
Yeah. Me, too.
The last two years I started the New Year with a theme. Two years ago I dared to be an awesome orange. Last year I set boundaries.
Today, I’m starting to be better.
2014: BETTER.
I have a brain bucket full of resolutions and ideas and goals and insights and dreams and warnings and… you get the picture.
I wrote out began my list. Things I want to accomplish/achieve/acquire in 2014:
- Get back to meal planning.
- Read a heck of a lot more.
- Do the Popover Project that I never did last year.
- Finish the interior improvements at Bedford Manor.
- Write. Write. Oh, and write.
- More Mother-Daughter Dates with my daughter.
- More Mother-Daughter Dates with my mother.
- Reach out of my comfort zone more. To people. To locations. To experiences.
- Create new recipes. And lots of them.
- Spend more time in my kitchen creating, less time cleaning.
- Redo the outdoor sprinkler system.
- Buy a reciprocal saw.
- Plant an olive tree.
- Craft more.
- Plant rose bushes.
- Buy fence slats.
- Buy many mason jars. In many sizes. For many reasons.
- Visit the Midwest.
- Get a passport.
- Visit Canada.
- Keep money in my savings account.
And so much more.
And as I looked at my incomplete list, I began to feel… overwhelmed.
This is the part where I channeled my mother’s mantra: “Simplify!” And, in case I didn’t hear her the first ten guzillion times: SIMPLIFY! (Stop yelling, Mom. I get it!)
My list is too long. It’s too exhausting. And honestly, too stressful. I can’t possibly achieve everything on that list.
And I’m not really sure I want to.
Sure, it looks good to put out there all these great goals. Oh, look at Molly’s Resolutions. This Girl’s got gumption! She’s a go-getter for sure! Okay. Quit laughing.
So this year, it’s not about New.
It’s about BETTER.
Taking what I already have, and working with it. Doing more, not different. Fixing, not forgetting. Stop adding to my plate and just enjoy what’s already there.
My goals for 2014 are the same no matter what day of the year it is: Be Better.
Do.
Be.
Dream.
Feel.
Live.
BETTER.
I’ll continue with the meal planning and the budgeting and the home improvements and the writing. Those are not new. If I gain a reciprocal saw and a passport, I’ll be happy. But if I don’t, the world doesn’t end.
I’ll make my life better because I’ll be better for the people in my life. I’ll surround myself with people who get it, who get me. Who encourage me and strengthen me and love me and support me. I’ll reach out more when I need them. And I’ll reach out to them when they’re not reaching out to me. I’ll make girl dates with Pam and Megan and Lisa and Nancy and let them know how they affect me and challenge me to be better.
I’ll let my family know I’m proud of them. For all they do. I’ll make the efforts to let them know I love them. No matter what. Just because they are who they are. And that’s good enough for me. They are always striving to be better, and I appreciate each and every one of them. All the time. And I’ll be better at telling them so.
Reading is something I do but not enough. Two years ago, I challenged myself to read a book every ten days. What was I thinking? In 2014, my goal is 12 books. Total. That’s right. Just one book each month. If I read more than that I’ll count it as a bonus. 12 books in one year is 10 more than I’ve read since last Christmas.
I’ll work on my current writing projects without starting new ones. I’ll finish NOLA and Amara’s Light and Broken Girl. I’ll record episodes of Five Minute Faith. I’ll do whatever I can to be the Writer I say I am.
I’m going to be a better version of myself and make my world a better place.
Not new. Not different.
But fresh. Hopeful. Good.
And definitely
BETTER.
Do Something
What’s your word for 2014?
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
You may also enjoy reading:
Following Fabian
You can’t see where you’re going if you’re always looking behind.
The Friday Five – STORIES
Amara’s Light: Book One of the Grenalia Chronicles
Doing Something. Good.
Jan 1, 2013 |
Last year instead of making Resolutions, I chose a three-word theme. Remember? I Dared to Be an Awesome Orange, only to find myself lost in East L.A. just days later.
This year, my theme is simple. One word. And I didn’t have to think about it. It came to me a few weeks ago, and has been bursting at the seams to get out.
Boundaries protect you. They set up a perimeter that the world can’t encroach upon unless you allow. Boundaries are fences, gates, edges. It makes me think of Lonesome Dove and stories by Louis L’Amour. The Wild West. Homesteading. Making a name for yourself. And creating your own private place.
If the world does come in unwanted and unwarranted, it’s okay to take a stand and stop. It’s okay to say, “This is my space.” But it’s also okay to make friends. To share what you can share. To expand your Circle of Life without breaking it.
Although some Boundaries are meant to be broken. Enlarged. They’re the horizon beyond the horizon, or, as Finian says, “The hill beyond yon hill.”
This year, I intend to strengthen my Boundaries. Whether I need to set up a better perimeter around my family, my home, my time, my writing or my finances, I will establish better Boundaries. And then I’ll open the gate when I can, and step out into unknown territories.
I’ll explore. Adjust. Enjoy. And establish.
Excitement doesn’t begin to explain how I feel. I’m pretty sure surviving the Mayan Apocalypse has given me a new lease on life. After all, one can hardly expect to go back to humdrum when the clock still ticks and the lungs still breathe, right?
This is me. Learning how to set Boundaries. And sometimes, how to step over them.
And Frankly, My Dear… that’s all she wrote!
